Training by Keyholder

[locked4her55]

but the real punishment is to stop playing.

Agree!

[KH jetzs]

Sub_Hub, I wanted to let you know. . . A couple days ago I had mentioned corporal based on the feedback on this forum. I didn't think he was into it. Well last night he came home from work he said he was thinking all day at work about stopping by the local xxstore to buy a really useful (looked really painful) paddle we saw the other day! Wow he can really turn around with my suggestion! I better not let it go to my head! He was serious!

So far, and still waiting for the device to arrive, this has turned our relationship upside down! The are so many things we laugh together about, minimal "pushing my buttons"(when it does happen, he writes me an apology email describing what he will do differently), more quality time with the kids, and all around contentment with life. It feels like magic right now-I just hope it continues!

Thanks for all your comments and perspectives!

[KH jetzs]

Hi KH jetzs,

For us errant behavior is corrected by the chastity device; it remains locked on. She'll tell me "I was going to unlock you tonight, but because of xxxx you haven't earned it."

Hi chastehub,
Thanks for your insight. I don't think I could work with the calendar either. I think it's going to have to be totally under my control and at my whim.

Also,I think the only reason why corporal appeals to me is because it is over with quickly and then you don't have to worry about the punishment anymore. However, I still need to spank my kids every once in a while and so it is really hard to wrap my mind around corporal punishment for my husband!

Thanks for all your input!

[KH jetzs]

But recognise that everyone IS different and you need to develop any ideas to match your own needs. The desire of a man to be dominated or/and kept in chastity normally comes from his own experience of previously being dominant or/and being in a position of authority himself

ChrissysProperty,
Thanks for your reply. I think my husband really wants to be dominated. Even so, I'm not sure why, maybe out of habit, he seems to be topping from the bottom. I have to admit though, when I correct him he seems to be a pretty quick learner! Knowing when to correct him and really enforce punishment has been a little tricky for me. He has always been dominant and always have the last say, so now that things have changed I think my brain circuitry is beginning to rewire. All this is confusing a little bit scary!

Thanks so much for your advice!

[KH jetzs]

Getting you to micromanage him is really topping from the bottom. Just my opinion.

Kc,

Thanks for your comments! This is exactly what I was thinking was going on. The micro managing is so exhausting. I'm just not going to do it! If he doesn't follow the contract and makes excuses then he can suffer the consequences! No discussion!

Wow, I think I'm becoming a lot more assertive, decisive, and DOMINATING!

Thanks so much!

[kinkyconsumer]

Getting you to micromanage him is really topping from the bottom. Just my opinion.

Kc,

Thanks for your comments! This is exactly what I was thinking was going on. The micro managing is so exhausting. I'm just not going to do it! If he doesn't follow the contract and makes excuses then he can suffer the consequences! No discussion!

Wow, I think I'm becoming a lot more assertive, decisive, and DOMINATING!

Thanks so much!

If you want him to learn to be a good boy, you can use his greedy approach against him. Just sit him down, remove the CB and inform him that *he* has to do the work, not you. In no uncertain terms tell him exactly what is annoying you. If he appears to be genuinely interested in behaving in a way that works for you, then put him on "probation"...no CB, no orders, no discipline...he, on his own, must behave the way you expect without any feedback from you. Any whining, manipulation, annoying demands for micromanagement and the game is over forever. Don't make the probation too short. I suggest a month to start. Any "errors" and you extend it another month. He needs to learn that you are in charge and that you are willing to give the time and attention to him to live out his fantasy only if he does his part.

My 2 cents.

[KH jetzs]

Also, i included in the contract an appendix that lists things i would find mind blowing, but with the understanding that all are suggestions; if, when and if ever She does any of those things is entirely up to Her. The purpose of the appendix is to communicate, but not manipulate.

I think this is a splendid idea. I think I will ask him if he would like to add an appendix. Thanks so much!

[Michele]

Initially I opted for a contract because of the roles that are switching. I didn't want there to be any misunderstandings about what was allowed and what was not.

i didn't mention this in my previous post, but MyBride and i have a contract and it has been helpful for communicating what we want for our relationship. Also, i included in the contract an appendix that lists things i would find mind blowing, but with the understanding that all are suggestions; if, when and if ever She does any of those things is entirely up to Her. The purpose of the appendix is to communicate, but not manipulate.

I'm interested in knowing what you might find "mind blowing" would you be willing to share?

You could message here or email me.

Thanks!

[chastehub]

Also, i included in the contract an appendix that lists things i would find mind blowing, but with the understanding that all are suggestions; if, when and if ever She does any of those things is entirely up to Her. The purpose of the appendix is to communicate, but not manipulate.

I'm interested in knowing what you might find "mind blowing" would you be willing to share?

Keeping in mind that chastity is as kinky as MyBride wants to go, the "mind blowing" things in the appendix of our contract are pretty tame. A couple examples of "mind blowing" things to try were for Her to edge me multiple times and then lock me back up while i'm in a lather, and to play with ruined orgasms.

i negotiated away a lot of kinky stuff when i convinced Her to try chastity 24x7. And i don't regret it; our bedroom escapades are now slower (lots of foreplay), more romantic, more loving and more centered on Her pleasure, which we both enjoy.