Chores, chores, chores

[fuzzydunlop]

On Day 14, I happily folded clothes with my wife. Instead of doing it out a sense of duty, I *liked* it. I have a liberal view of household chores and spilt the burdens with my wife. But usually I don't like folding clothes---I view it as a burden I have to share. After 14 days, my attitude was a lot different.

I have a hard time squaring my liberal views on gender roles with the fact that I become very happily submissive and open to suggestion by my wife after going orgasm free for several days. It is a physiological reality that I don't like doing my end of the chores as well after having a Big O.

Later that night, I had one of my best O's ever. I lied a little and said that it wouldn't make a difference in my behavior and attitude, knowing that it would at least for a few days.

It is hard to square my thinking side with the reality of hormones.

[sub4becca]

I can share your feelings on the "chores" and the way our hormones affect our drive and desire to help our significant others. what i am getting from you is that it is hard to maintain this thinking after the big "o" point blank i think that while this is an aspect of chastity, hormone levels changing, submissive, dominant roles ect. the way that we behave after the built up frustration is gone has more to do with who we are as people and our desire to help others. we should strive to be at our best at all times. i wish you luck

[kpb57]

As you may know from my other posts, I am not "denied" for longer than just one or two days, but wearing the device serves more as a means for further bonding between us.
It may also be that my hormones tend to buid a little faster that they do in the "average" male.
Like you, I find that, while being helpful and attentive comes quite naturally when the juices have built up, it takes a more conscious effort after the release. So I make it a point to myself to never forget to cuddle up and give her lots of intimacy after she made me come, instead of just turning over and snoring away. The same goes for all the other "trick"s of "lovelife 102" (kisses, hugs, compliments, the like).

K

[fuzzydunlop]

Well, I hope I am not an ogre after an orgasm. For me, the most appealing thing about chastity is not necessarily being under control by my wife (albeit I like when she asserts control), but the huge energy surge I feel the second week after an orgasm. It makes stuff that might feel like work seem easy. I don't like feeling flat for the next couple of days. I was feeling a little wound up and anxious last night and this morning, and my wife noticed that I didn't feel that way during an abstinence stretch. I'd like to see if I (we) can hold orgasms to twice a month in the near future. It is going to take a lot of will power.

[poor]

Chores, (or housework) has probably been the biggest area of friction between us.

Like many others I put on a big effort to do the housework when I introduced MC to my wife. A couple of weeks after I took her out for a working lunch to establish some ground rules and sound out her opinion on how it was going thus far. It ended up with her walking out over my suggestion that doing the housework was in itself a good enough reason to lock me up (except that being her she left me stranded at a country inn and then gave me 10 minutes to meet her at the top of a hill 1/2 mile away!).

Now I could have understood if she was a housewife and she might take it that i was trying to undermine what she does but she earns more than me and I have taken career breaks in the past to help raise the kids so it's not like I hadn't done it before.

What I came to understand over time is that she enjoys things done for her directly ( getting drinks, taking off shoes, flowers & gifts etc.) more than cooking, cleaning & shopping.

[Tom Allen]

It ended up with her walking out over my suggestion that doing the housework was in itself a good enough reason to lock me up

When men offer women money for sexual favors, they (the women) usually get upset. So it amazes me that men don't see the connection in wanting to trade sexual favors for household chores.

What I came to understand over time is that she enjoys things done for her directly ( getting drinks, taking off shoes, flowers & gifts etc.) more than cooking, cleaning & shopping.

At least you got it. Some men never make that connection.

[fuzzydunlop]

In our relationship, doing anything to create the expectation or perceived obligation to have sex is generally pretty counterproductive. That's one way orgasm denial has been a very useful tool. It has helped build trust that I'm not doing things to have sex, because for lenghths of time, we have agreed to take my orgasm off the table. It has also allowed her more space to flirt or tease me without any expectation I will ask for too much. If you have been together for many years, this sort of thing helps rekindle and remind you of earlier times.

[fonetik2003]

I actually like doing chores for Goddess at this point! It helps keep me busy, keep me in shape, and keep my mind off the fact that I'm not allowed to cum... Just wish she'd let me pleasure her more often! Though she does enjoy me begging to do it for her...

[Locked by LRC]

This reminds me of an old saying.

"When you got 'em by the balls, their mind and heart will follow"

[fuzzydunlop]

Chastity shouldn't change what I will or won't do for my wife or our household, but she seems to understand that my attitude and mood are better in chastity, and attitude and mood are things that are not always easy to control, especially with stress and fatigue. When my attitude and mood are better, that raises my game just a little bit more. That seems a little bit different from quid pro quo.