Broaching the subject to my vanilla wife?

[beyondCUCK]

Okay, kinda new to this idea of chastity, but totally intrigued with the thought of the power exchange going on and what others are getting out of it.
How did you bring up the idea of chastity, or who brought it up?
My wife knows about my "interest" so it's not like I'm sneaking around behind her back with my cock all locked up. I did find an intro book for us to read together, and that led to me buying my first cage. Her reaction to that is a whole other story.
Any advice for the new kid on the block?

[Tongue+groove]

Open honest and sometimes difficult conversations. Maybe a trial run for two weeks. That worked for me. Good luck your in the right place.

[Mr Pickle]

Hi @beyondCUCK .

Every one is different, but one thing that seems to be a constant when its the man asking is PATIENCE.

Try not to oversell it. Stick with "Id really like to try this. Who knows, it might be lots of fun? Rather than "Im a wankaholic. Lock me up"

If images are better check captions below. Will you hold my key images were made to attempt to romanticise it.

viewtopic.php?t=65149&start=20

Also.Checkout the new guide in the forum.

viewtopic.php?t=65242

Good luck

[BritCanUsa]

Hey @beyondCUCK

As was mentioned above its different for everyone in how we convey the message and you know your wife best

I might suggest the slow approach though. Rather than placing a steel cage on the kitchen table and announcing "Hey lets try this it'll be fun" (I know you wouldn't do that ...just keeping things light here), maybe identify that moment in your day when conversation topics are easily broached without the stilted "ok...we need to talk" situation you know. Keep it casual.

Then in that conversation possibly ask if she feels like you that you'd like to broaden the excitement you already have between you and try something you have had in mind a while. Chastity.
At that point I would share what that actually means to you...not what it looks like or the mechanics of it.

Tell her that being locked up by her and giving her the control of the sexual energy between you both is your way of showing how much you love her and even above that...how much you trust her. If its part of what you actually think, share with her that having you caged all day by her you feel her presence and love all day every day. Its kind of like a wedding ring - that you cant take off without her

In other words go slow and maybe don't dive into the sexual heights and mental images that you have probably built up in your mind. That might scare her or make it seem too fetish or possibly add more pressure on her to 'perform' or worst of all, give her a mental picture of her in leather with a whip !!(unless you guys enjoy that aspect already)

In the end its not about convincing your wife its about sharing your thoughts on how you feel this will add to your relationship....
Remember in the end chastity is 5% physical and 95% mental

Do let us know how your journey moves forward

[TwistedMister]

Okay, kinda new to this idea of chastity, but totally intrigued with the thought of the power exchange going on and what others are getting out of it.
How did you bring up the idea of chastity, or who brought it up?
My wife knows about my "interest" so it's not like I'm sneaking around behind her back with my cock all locked up. I did find an intro book for us to read together, and that led to me buying my first cage. Her reaction to that is a whole other story.
Any advice for the new kid on the block?

How you approach it depends on your wife's personality and reactions, and we don't know them so it would be difficult to offer specific advice.

My wife and I just sort of fell into it. We had experimented previously with some [light] BDSM, mostly 'tie and tease' with her as the one being tied. Then I came across the idea of chastity...which intrigued me because it brought back some memories of some things I did when I was very young- tying a pair of sneakers to my cock and balls to feel the weight hanging off them, stuffing bulky things into my briefs to make it 'feel different'.

We started with a 'gates of hell' toy, and that was mildly interesting, so we got a 'stallion guard'. Mrs. Twisted found that she sort of enjoyed having me in the 'stallion guard' while I pleasured her- she could enjoy receiving pleasure without having to be concerned about reciprocating...and I think she also enjoyed the fact that my cock was 'locked up' and under her control. However, we soon discovered that the 'stallion guard' was only good for very short-term use- overnight was no good because it would go wonky when I fell asleep and got soft...and if it didn't fall off completely subsequent nocturnal erections would result in severe pinching.

Enter the CB-3000. It seemed rather expensive at the time, at $150, but since we have more than 20 years on it the actual cost per year is quite low.

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If your wife already knows of your interest, then maybe you should approach it directly- "I'd like to experiment with this. I'd like to see how it feels to be 'locked up', with you in control of it, pleasuring you whenever you want and you deciding when and if you want to allow me some pleasure in return. And I'd like to see if you get any enjoyment from having me 'locked up' and under your control."

You could start with something very short-term, maybe only a couple of hours or so, if she is willing to experiment with you. Keep it simple- you pleasure her and she decides when to let you out. If you both enjoy that, then maybe you move to all day- you get locked up in the morning and she decides when to let you out in the evening...after you have provided her with whatever pleasure she has decided she wants at the time.

If you're both enjoying it, then you gradually stretch out the terms of your 'lock-ups'- a day and a night, to several days and nights, to a week, and so on.

You may want to keep it light, with only the idea of 'control' if she is very 'vanilla'. If you have any ideas of full-on FLR and a FemDom queen, you may want to keep that to yourself for the time being. If she enjoys the control, then let her just enjoy that for a while, before you introduce any more involved ideas...and she might even surprise you, as she discovers the power that this sort of control can give her, and she may grow into something less 'vanilla' on her own.

(My wife *really* surprised me, after just a month, but that's another story...)

[Slave86721]

My wife knows about my "interest" so it's not like I'm sneaking around behind her back with my cock all locked up.

Well you're a better man than me because that's exactly what I've been doing. Ordered a cage from Amazon and have been trying it out without her knowledge. My wife is totally vanilla, we've been married 18 years. We barely have sex as we have two kids and crazily busy lives, and her libido has been very low for the last couple of years. I don't know how to bring up the subject without it seeming like locking myself up is an implicit criticism of her for not having sex with me.

[Tongue+groove]

I was there 30 years ago. 18 years, busy, 2 kids the whole enchilada. On the advice of a friend who saw it digress to this point I started dating my wife again. I made a conscious effort to take her out on dates. Money was tight so we did picnics, walks and occasional dinner dates. No kids allowed. When you make your own entertainment you build a higher level of communication. Just going to get an ice cream can be worth while.

It may take quite a bit of time to get to the chastity topic but that’s ok. The journey of your relationship is worth investing in.

Just remembered after the kids left home I hired a young lady to come in and clean once a month or so. Her job was to get the detail work done that Mrs. Groove couldn’t get to. It was money well spent, a real shot in the arm for her.

After a few short years the girl left for college. Mrs. Groove felt more caught up and didn’t have her replaced.

Good luck.

Not sure if you do the date nights or not but we still do. Been empty nesters since 2010. We grow closer everyday, I’m glad I started dating her back then.