Arguing with your wife while locked.

[LadyDs_alex]

I have only been locked in various unsuccessful plastic devices long enough to experience the good aspects of chastity. Long enough for me to know I want it, not long enough for the warm glow of the novelty to start to subside, and things to settle into a routine.

So my question is: what happens when you and she fight? I don't mean about sex. I mean about all the other stuff that husbands and wives fight about -- money, her awful family, your awful family, etc etc.

Does it change the dynamic, when you have an argument with your dearly beloved while locked?

I should think it must, but for the life of me I can't quite imagine how.

[McAndrew]

Keep it apart.

Assuming the arguments are about something silly and will blow over, you should have an agreement that she never evokes her denial powers. It's simply not fair and will feel very wrong later.

Just fight it out as normal.

[slave d]

It depends how much you're into a female led relationship, if you are going down that track (as i am) then you might well expect at least to be punished for arguing with Her, i most certainly would be.

d

[_lj_]

It depends on the extent of the D/s relationship. I know some where the possibility of an argument doesn't exist - the Domme ALWAYS has the final say. A reasoned discussion is allowed, but if the sub gets angry, it will end in a punishment, though the relationships I know, and in ours, are more at the BDSM end of things so the punishment is likely to be a caning or similar. Again, in these relationships, chastity is more of a statement of the relationship rather than a punishment, and so is unlikely to feature as the result of an argument - bad behaviour yes, argument no.

[McAndrew]

Again, in these relationships, chastity is more of a statement of the relationship rather than a punishment, and so is unlikely to feature as the result of an argument - bad behaviour yes, argument no.

That's what I meant, but much better said.

[Tom Allen]

So my question is: what happens when you and she fight? I don't mean about sex. I mean about all the other stuff that husbands and wives fight about -- money, her awful family, your awful family, etc etc.

Well, first of all, I'm going to mention that I'm a wonderful husband, so we really don't have much to fight about.

That said, something almost paradoxical occurred to me a long time ago. I gave Mrs Edge -and she took - 100% of the control. All of it. No time limit, and no reward for good behavior, and no telling me ahead of time when I could expect to come. But not expecting any reward for good behavior also meant that I would never be surprised by punishment for bad behavior. In other words, since I was never waiting for or *expecting* to have an orgasm, it didn't really matter what I did because her extending the time until the next one was not a deterrent.

Ironically, it made me free to be a bad husband if I really wanted to.

Think about that for a minute.

[TwistedMister]

Does it change the dynamic, when you have an argument with your dearly beloved while locked?

I should think it must, but for the life of me I can't quite imagine how.

While our 'rules' technically limit our 'play' to sexual and 'personal' services, those 'rules' also allow for penalties/punishments "...for any reason...or for no reason at all...".

I am always cognizant of this at some level, and as a result, it *does* have the effect of moderating my responses during an 'argument'. 'Arguments', as such, also have tended to become fewer for the same reason. This moderation is generally self-imposed and only rarely has she ever made any reference to my being locked or threatened any consequences. I don't think that *she* is always aware of the dynamic and its effects, but *I* certainly am.

[nebman]

Like the several different answers indicate, your mileage may vary.

If you spend a lot of time in the device, it may not really be at top of mind if an argument occurs. Kind of like you're probably not thinking about your wife's bra and she's not thinking about your socks and underwear while you are debating the length of your mother-in-law's next visit.

We don't have a FLR or punishment sort of dynamic attached to chastity. It's mostly about tease and denial and allowing her to top in some sexual situations.

[knighterrant]

Your relationship rules certainly have an impact on this. As said, if there is an FLR type of relationship it can vary a lot because you may really have little final say over anything.

That being said, my reflection on this is that it changes my dynamic much more than hers. I am always thinking about how long I have been locked up and when my next chance for sexual contact with her might be. She isn't, and she isn't even thinking about me being locked up most of the time. The focus in your mind, is in hers only when she wants it to be.

When we are having an argument that has nothing to do with a sexual dynamic. (I say this because I make the mistake of getting into an occasional "begging for it" argument which is a different animal ) In those typical couple arguments the fact that I am in chastity is probably the furthest thing from her mind. Now for me, I can get that sulky "poor me I haven't even touched my cock in a week" and now I am losing this argument too dynamic...so for me it changes things. Also, it makes me not want to argue because when we argue my chance of getting any cage free time basically goes to zero until she is happy again. If that doesn't change your attitude about arguing in general, I don't know what will.

[poptart1200]

When my g/f and I have heated debates, I am still free to speak my mind. However, on the rare occasion we do argue, she is not thinking about the tube locked on my cock at that moment. Now afterward she might decide to add a day or two to my release, but if she does, I wouldn't know anyway it since she doesn't disclose the exact day that I will get a release.