Feeling awkward/embarassed around wife

[newbie]

My wife is pretty vanilla, but she knows that I am more of a kinky person so she understands some of the things that turn me on even if they don't necessarily do the same to her. She get's that and is ok with it.

The one thing that she completely doesn't understand is male chastity. She doesn't understand why I want to be locked up and have her as the keyholder. We have talked openly about this, and have exchanged emails on the subject. I've explained and tried to show that it is a commitment from me to her, but the device is a complete turn off to her, although she tells me that "if you want to wear that thing it's your business".

After so many roadblocks and negative reaction from her to ease into chastity, I made the decision to get rid of everything and forget it. That didn't last.

Last week I ordered a new HT V2 to replace the ones I got rid of. It arrived today, so I'm ready to start wearing again. I've decided that I missed wearing the device, and at this point I plan on wearing it for my own reasons. To curb my masturbation and temptation to play with myself, and because I like the idea of being locked in the device.

I guess my question is about should I feel ashamed and embarassed to wear it in her presence. Previously she knew I was wearing it for a multitude of reasons, and would see it from time to time laying next to the shower in the bathroom when I would take a shower. This never seemed to phase her really, and she started to accept it, although still wanted nothing to do with it in bed.

Even with all that, I still never felt right wearing it while naked (like in the bathroom) in her presence. Doesn anyone else feel that way, or is this just something I need to get over.

Any advise would help.

[GoddessRhea]

I read your journey thread on here, so I wanted to ask, have you ever pointed your wife in the direction of reading material? Have you shown her online things, or perhaps even bought books on the topic?

[newbie]

I really haven't, to be honest.

It always seems that everything I find that might be appropriate to show her eventually goes into areas that are far more kinky than we are.

[newbie]

I read your journey thread on here, so I wanted to ask, have you ever pointed your wife in the direction of reading material? Have you shown her online things, or perhaps even bought books on the topic?

By the way, thanks for reading my Journey entries. I'm glad someone is reading it.

It helps me "put things down on paper" so to speak.

[GoddessRhea]

You're welcome for reading.

Do you think it'd be helpful for your wife to talk to another keyholder? It might be helpful to her to see that there are other people out there who do this stuff, and to have her questions answered by a woman.

[newbie]

You're welcome for reading.

Do you think it'd be helpful for your wife to talk to another keyholder? It might be helpful to her to see that there are other people out there who do this stuff, and to have her questions answered by a woman.

That's a possibility, but I honestly doubt she would be interested enough in the whole subject to do that.

[GoddessRhea]

That's a possibility, but I honestly doubt she would be interested enough in the whole subject to do that.

If you ever decide to pursue that route, let me know and I would be glad to talk with her. I can keep things very soft and vanilla for her, so I don't freak her out.

[Tom Allen]

I found that this book was very helpful:

When someone you love is kinky

[newbie]

I found that this book was very helpful:

When someone you love is kinky

Thanks Tom, I'll check it out.

[fortunatehusbandp4]

I find the book "How to Setup an FLR" really helpful, the 32 point questionnaire really told me a lot about what my wife is looking for and gave her an insight into what I am looking for. You may find, as I did that there'll be aspects of kink you'll have to forego but at the same time there'll be others you can embrace.

http://www.amazon.com.au/gp/aw/d/B00BB3 ... 53-7343533

My wife bought the book "When Someone You Love is Kinky", that in itself showed a willingness to understand and go down the path with me. She was also very vanilla compared to my kinkiness that I had only put out there in little bits over 10 years of marriage - by my kinkiness I mean deep knowledge of shibari, cbt, tt, cp, the hanky code etc. Glad to now be in chastity.