Chastity thats all about the denied

[KydenHeart]

My wife (I will call her Missy) and I are a few months into OD and Chastity and so far I feel like its been more about me and less about her like I intended.

When we started I thought it would mean Missy would get more attention and far more orgasms than previously. Are marriage was turning into a sexless one very fast. And wile things have gotten SO much better, and she does orgasm more, I feel like to much focus is on my pleasure. She has found that she truly loves teasing me and having control of what is now called her property. She even bought a locking but plug harness (its her favorite toy by far) and one of her favorite things to do is lock me up, and then play a competitive video game with me, all the wile playing with the plug and her property until I'm a melted mass of need and she kicks my butt at the game. She has always enjoyed biting, spanking and scratching me, however I used to hate pain. Now when she has me locked in the harness I love it. Some nights she will spend time just doing her favorite pain inducing things and again leave me for the night very horny and wanting more.

I of course LOVE all this, but I also want to make her feel more pleasure too. She knows that at any time she could ask for a back rub or foot rub or pleasure anywhere she wants it, yet she rarely does. I would offer it to her, but one of the rules she decided on is I have to ask to touch her and she almost always says no.

We have talked a lot and she says she is very happy. She loves the control, and she said she even came on one of the nights she was abusing me and I never touched her. I still feel like she should get more attention, but should I leave things as they are? She is the one with the control after all. Ya I'm getting a lot more pleasure out of it, but it leaves me feeling selfish at times.

[Michele]

FYI - most of us ladies start out doing it for you boys... it comes around once we grab ahold of the dominance... give it time and keep worshipping her, desiring her, wanting her... she may come around and surprise you!

[KydenHeart]

She's already suprised me with how much she enjoys having control. If this isn't "grabbing hold" of her dominance already maybe I should b scared lol.

Hope she does though. Maybe things will change once I save up for my her Trainer.

[cagedmonkey]

I understand how you feel. There's nothing I enjoy more than pleasing My Lady. It's my favorite thing to do! It's important to remember that it's all about control, specifically you giving up control to her. Not only does that mean that she controls your pleasures, but she also controls theh pleasure that you are allowed to give her.

The best you can do is humbly request to be allowed to please her. If she declines, that's her perogative.

[Tom Allen]

We have talked a lot and she says she is very happy.

[locked4her55]

We have talked a lot and she says she is very happy.

a) Your are communicating - that's important

b) She's very happy - that's very important

I get you wanting to please and pleasure her but for now you are in a better place than a lot of men in chastity.

Hopefully what you want for her will happen soon.

[KydenHeart]

She and I both have a history of telling each other we r happy when in truth we are not. But I do believe her this time. Things have been much better for us.

I gues it all boils down to I gave her control and this is how she is deciding to use it. No need for feeling selfish if I'm not the one deciding things .

Ps: The same night I post this she decides that I am to rub her down till she fell asleep. Over an hour of rubbing her all over till I heard her tell tale snoring. Nothing for me. A very good night

[Elizabeth]

FYI - most of us ladies start out doing it for you boys... it comes around once we grab ahold of the dominance... give it time and keep worshipping her, desiring her, wanting her... she may come around and surprise you!

This. My boyfriend and I started to practice chastity regularly a few months ago - it took me some time to embrace my dominant side & even now I'm still working on it. It's not an easy thing to do especially if your keyholder naturally has a more submissive personality - it takes time to embrace another persona. But it sounds like you are keeping communication open which is the best thing you can do.