Getting girlfriend into it

[newlylocked]

So I recently got a CB6000 with my girlfriend. We have used it a couple of times, but not very much. Longest I have been locked as a day. Any tips on getting your partner to get into it more?

[Tom Allen]

You should badger her more. All women are dying to have a man locked up, but some are just too repressed to show it. Pester her a bit more and she should come around.

[Tom Allen]

Okay, seriously. You left us with absolutely no information to work with. Have you talked to her about it? Have you both read any of the books or websites on this? Have either of you looked over these forums? Have the both of you talked about what you each expect to get out of it? What do you expect to get out of it, anyway?

[happyman1]

So glad I read Tom's second reply!

[rmcingle]

Just to make it clear, Tom's remark was sarcasm! That is exactly opposite of what you need to do!

Like Tom said, we need more information.

The reality of the situation is that most people don't want to be a dominant. Control means responsibility, and when all they want to do is relax and enjoy having additional responsibility is just not a good thing.

If your girlfriend is naturally a dominant then she will take control and do it on her terms.

If she is not a dominant by nature there are still two reasons why she might do this for you:
1) she gets something out of it.
2) She loves you enough that she is willing to give you this gift, even though it does nothing for her.

Either one is going to take a lot of communication between you. And a word of caution: what you think she might get out of it might not be the same as what she thinks. Being attentive, pampering her and similar things are all things that she wants without the chastity, so if she has to do this to get it then it is a major concession for her.

Ron

[Tom Allen]

And a word of caution: what you think she might get out of it might not be the same as what she thinks. Being attentive, pampering her and similar things are all things that she wants without the chastity, so if she has to do this to get it then it is a major concession for her.

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!

Sorry about being a bit snarky earlier. I sometimes get frustrated to see such open-ended questions with no background information; there's no way to help someone if you can't see what they've done so far.

But Ron makes an excellent point: you may think that she *should* get ___ out of it, but in actuality, most partners already think that they should be getting special treatment. Instead of assuming, you need to find out what she *wants* to get out of it, and you also need to be aware that this may change as things progress.

[LockedforHer]

From my experience, slowly slowly, comes to mind. My wife hated the idea and made every excuse in the book to say that we should not try it. She now seems to enjoy making me squirm and being able to have playtime but without any messy endings.

I would say do not try to force things, allow her to get used to the idea. You never know you may wish you had never mentioned the idea, some seem to, not me I love it that she now loves to tease and have me satisfy her in many other ways...

[luckylocked]

As a recent convert to male chastity I know where you are coming from. I can tell you what I have learnt over the past six months.

Firstly, don't push or top too much from the bottom. As the other guys said, if you are being more attentive to her needs and helping out more around the house, she may well think why weren't you doing this before. One of the biggest mistakes I made was pointing out how much extra I am doing, and when I look back on it now, really I am doing my fair share. Having said that, if you don't make a big deal about it she will notice and probably learn to love it.

Don't talk about it all the time. It can become very boring, even though you are on a knifes edge most of the time, she is pretty much feeling the same as always. This was really hard to do at first but I did notice that the less I bought it up, the more she started to make little comments.

If you do have a nice conversation about it don't tell her all your wild fantasies in one go. Gently gently works very well and if she is into it she will find her way and before you know it you will hopefully be sitting there contemplating your situation and wondering like I am at the moment how the hell you got there.

Six months ago my wife let me wear it for one day when she was too hungover from a party to function (she doesn't drink much) and she saw it as a mild annoyance and very weird. This morning I asked if I could be unlocked tonight for a party with some friends who are rather boisterous and prone to "crotch grabbing" and she just laughed at me and said I had better stay sober and alert cos it ain't coming off till February and I earned an extra week for asking. That will be 110 days with no orgasm. As lockedforher said, you may end up wishing you had never bought it up!

[locked4her55]

Some really good comments being shared here. When we first started, it was practically all I could focus on. For her, life goes on with this chastity thing add in. I had the advantage of 20 years of marriage behind us so I knew when to shut up because I was pushing her over the edge. I found the less I brought it up the more she accepted it. It also helped that when I was allowed out that I took care of her every need. Like a fine wine "let it breath" and don't take a big gulp.