What is going on in HER mind?

[Allmylife4her]

I’m wondering how a woman who has loved lots of sexual intercourse can go from sex, sex, sex to nothing but oral sex and self masturbation as a result of male chastity?

This forum talks a lot about the male but never really addresses the question of what the woman does when her male engages in male chastity. I’d written a post a few months ago about whether chastity leads to cuckolding (or sex with another person with the agreement of the partner if that is a better way of putting it) and that post led to many interesting responses. However, it still didn’t answer my underlying question, what is going through a woman’s psychology that she would ‘willing’ accept her partners chastity when she likes having lots of sex?

Three months ago I introduced the idea of male chastity to her, showed her some male chastity captions on the internet and she loved the idea of putting me in a chastity cage. We researched and purchased the CB6000 and as soon as it arrived in the mail she locked me up in it. The initial trial period had me taking it on and off with her consent to find a comfortable fitting but ultimately we ended up with the birdcage which I’ve been wearing for about 2 months. She said she loved the look of it much more than any other device we had researched.

Initially she would tease but in the last 30 days (after about the first month of wearing the birdcage) she simply stopped. I don’t complain or beg her to tease me, I’m generally low maintenance and don’t complain or bug her. She simply stopped asking about it and she appears to be happy to leave me locked up.

Our sex life was very active prior to my chastity and I remain highly turned on all the time, my libido is still there but of course that’s being kept in check by the cage so I spend time giving her oral orgasms. Once she’s had her orgasms from my oral attention she rolls over and goes to sleep.

I don’t want to ask her directly as that would violate our understanding of 'what she wants she gets', but I would really like to know from the forum members what they think could be going on in her mind and behavior?

[Allmylife4her]

hot_toddy_dog wrote in my post "Can Chastity lead to cuckolding?"...'A lot of women don't, or lose the desire for ("PIV sex") as they age'.

This might answer my question"What is going on in HER mind?" and explains why she is content to keep me locked up and not pursue cuckolding. She gets lots of oral orgasms from me and self-masturbates, so if she really doesn't mind not having PIV sex then male chastity is probably why she is so content to leave me alone in my cage.

[poor]

It might just be that she is just taking you at your word and only enjoying 'what she wants' from you.

I am subject to a similar arrangement as you and am coming up on a year without PIV sex. Once Chatelaine knew that I would take only what she was offering it came off the menu pretty quickly. She said that after our second child it was never particularily enjoyable for her and she doesn't see why she has to do what she doesn't like if she's in charge.

In your position, I'd have to ask. Not as part of the game but as necessary communication between loving partners.

[finallyhappy]

Commication is what is key and can make or break any relationships. Both sides need to have their expectations met or it is just not going to be a happy relationship.

Who knows, she could be wanting more and is thinking that she is giving you what you want not what she wants. The only way to find out is to talk not guess.

[Allmylife4her]

Thank you 'Poor' and 'Finallyhappy'. I will communicate with her this evening on the matter. I agree communication is key, she may be 'enjoying what she wants from me' but best to ask now in case 'she could be wanting more'.

[Allmylife4her]

Holy smoke.I asked her if she was happy with the way things are, she said she was very happy, smiled and informed me that my release date just got pushed back 3 months. That will make for 6 months in total from the date I was first locked up. I'm guessing I don't need to ask her any more. It was good to check though! Thanks everyone. The end of July seems along way away.

[mistress is god]

I have had a similar conversation with my wife recently and what has come out is that we were having sex previously becuase she knew that I wanted it. She didn't and as such it was not that good as she was not realy in the room (so to speak) now when we do have sex it is becuase she wants it, it has nothing to do with what I want. You might find that your previous sex life was driven by you and now she is incharge she is getting just what she wants.

[hot_toddy_dog]

Honestly I can't say this bodes well in my mind. You asked for communication and got a punishment.

Unless you've explicitly asked for and negotiated that kind of thing in your relationship, this sounds like a mistake. Maybe this punishment is "hot" and so it is acceptable to you, but what happens when it is not?

I guess I just struggle in general to understand the submissive mindset. I could never accept giving up any personal autonomy, much less enjoy it, but to take it to the level of basic communication makes me question the motivations here. For me, the lifeblood of any relationship is honesty and communication. If this is compromised, I just can't see how it can work. Unless you are an actual 24/7 slave living under virtual house arrest, not to speak unless spoken to, communication should never be punished, especially if it is just asking a question.

[mistress is god]

Honestly I can't say this bodes well in my mind. You asked for communication and got a punishment.

Unless you've explicitly asked for and negotiated that kind of thing in your relationship, this sounds like a mistake. Maybe this punishment is "hot" and so it is acceptable to you, but what happens when it is not?

Although I fully agree with your statement communication is everything!
Perhaphs I might suggest that the above post is a tad harsh.
Might I go as far to suggest.
You asked a question. You got your answer. Read between the line.

If the answer you got was not the communication you were expecting I would agree you need to have the ability to talk it through or just ask a differant question.

Either way I would suggest she is happy. I suppose the real question is are you?

[Allmylife4her]

now when we do have sex it is becuase she wants it, it has nothing to do with what I want. You might find that your previous sex life was driven by you and now she is incharge she is getting just what she wants.

Great answer. Simple.