Chastity Lite

[McAndrew]

As I said in my 'Hello' my wife and I love playing with chastity, but mostly only for a couple of months a year, when we are on holiday.

Once the thought of sex enters my wife's mind, that's it, she's off. If she doesn't orgasm things turn nasty.
This did lead to a feeling of 'here we go again'. However we discovered that limiting my orgasms really enlivened things, which is when we stumbled across chastity devices.
She gets as much attention as she wants and I find the unpredictability really exciting.

So I don't get locked up 24/7, but only when she feels the need to control me. At most this is only a couple of days at a time.
Although some times the release is only because we are going to the beach.

If this sort of thing is of any interest I'll prattle further.

[Atone]

Please, prattle away.

Welcome to the forum.

-A

[celticqueens_sub]

As I said in my 'Hello' my wife and I love playing with chastity, but mostly only for a couple of months a year, when we are on holiday.

Once the thought of sex enters my wife's mind, that's it, she's off. If she doesn't orgasm things turn nasty.
This did lead to a feeling of 'here we go again'. However we discovered that limiting my orgasms really enlivened things, which is when we stumbled across chastity devices.
She gets as much attention as she wants and I find the unpredictability really exciting.

So I don't get locked up 24/7, but only when she feels the need to control me. At most this is only a couple of days at a time.
Although some times the release is only because we are going to the beach.

If this sort of thing is of any interest I'll prattle further.

Everyone does it differently. There is no rule book that you can be judged by. Do whatever works for you both and makes you happy. Do not think you will be judged because what you do is not what I do. People my comment and express views but nobody can tell you that you are wrong, coz they ain't you!

Please join in!

[danj]

Welcome!

[McAndrew]

Thanks for the welcome. I've learnt quite a bit from lurking here and I'll see if I can add something.

The first thing is that my wife is a rubbish key holder. Once she's enjoying herself it's anything I want, so long as I don't stop.
So now at the start of the day she uses a dice to decide if I come, writes the result in her diary, but doesn't tell me.
The number of sides the dice has depends on her mood and she is allowed to deny me if it suits her.

This way she seems to have no problem being strict, playful and enjoying tormenting me, because it's not her call.

[poor]

Rubbish?! Because she has found a way of accommodating your kink that doesn't meet your expectations? I think it's cool that she is willing to indulge your whims in the way she wants. (If it helps, before she 'makes' you orgasm, ensure that you ask her for permission every time.)

Many here have (and still do) use games of some sort as a way of deciding the duration and level of denial. It's not a cop-out, it's a tool for her to have fun with this.

[McAndrew]

Rubbish?! Because she has found a way of accommodating your kink that doesn't meet your expectations?

Whatever.

One of the problems I have, is a shockingly low tolerance of being rubbished on forums.

[Tom Allen]

rubbish

This is a British thing, huh?

Poor's point seems to be that it seems a bit much to use this term for somebody who is indulging a whim of yours.

MacAndrew's point seems to be that his wife is enjoying things too much to be a "strict" keyholder, and therefore uses games in order to remove the guilt (or whatever) that keeps her from being more controlling.

My wife *likes* to be controlling, so she doesn't like any kind of games, dice toss, or whatever. OTOH, that's her. Other women obviously react differently. It's all good if you're enjoying the ride.

[Belle]

From the perspective of a keyholder who at times has difficulty being controlling, games are a wonderful way to take the responsibility off of yourself. No offense intended here, but I think it is very easy for the male to not pay attention to the emotional side of being a keyholder. Those of us in committed relationships who practice chastity often have guilt over denying the orgasms, even though we know that is what our partner wants. I have read many blogs whose attitude is "I gave her the key, she has it made now.". It doesn't work that way for me and many, many others. Communication is key to the whole process. I have used dice and other games in the past, and I may again in the future. Right now we are operating in the "when I say so" mode, but I do take input and cues from Jnuts.

[celticqueens_sub]

Those of us in committed relationships who practice chastity often have guilt over denying the orgasms, even though we know that is what our partner wants.

Belle, CQ definitley had this as aproblem to start with, especially when it came to maintaining her authority. She took sometime to adjust, but she did. She applied reasoning to it not emotion and eventually got used to it, now she actively enjoys it.

Communication is key to the whole process.

Perhaps the seven most important words that can be written on the subject. I find it hard to articulate the depth of communication we know have, there is just nothing we cannot talk about now.