Is chastity a "kink" or a lifestyle?

[Aarkey]

Many describe MC as a kink... is it really, especially between 2 consenting adults?

For me, something is a lifestyle it if changes the way you look at life... and with that said, I think they are right it is a kink. And you are right too, it is a lifestyle.

I think we can all define it however we want. There is no "should" about it, and there is no "musts" to it. I recall years ago I had a neighbor in a small condo building I lived in. She wore two kinds of shoes, 5" heels, or sneakers when she would working out. I remember her saying that she was taught that "High heels are a way of life for a lady." And said she was more comfortable in her heels than she was in sneakers.

And yet, is an object like high heels, or a chastity belt, or any other "thing" a lifestyle? Or is a lifestyle about a way of thinking, a way of living? I think so.

[Grizzly228]

I consider handcuffs, lingerie, blindfolds, etc as a kink. To me orgasm denial and chastity is more. I enjoy this other things but without chastity/denial/teading I crave and miss it. Sometimes I can go days or months without it but it always comes back. It's something I think about even when not turned on. Whereas handcuffs, etc are pluses. But that's just me. There is something mental and emotional about it that lasts a lot longer than other "kinks"

[locked4her55]

My wife will tell you I have a few kinks, chastity is not one of them. She doesn't even like the term. Before chastity I would like to be restrained during sex. Didn't happen every time. I don't consider myself in a BDSM lifestyle, it was for me a kink. As for chastity, we've been at this for over 5 years now, full time. According to my records, I'm locked up on average 87% of the time, day and night. It's what works for us. We both agree that it's a lifestyle we have chosen to pursue.

Wikipedia's definition: "The term lifestyle can denote the interests, opinions, behaviors, and behavioral orientations of an individual, group, or culture."

[newbie]

For me, it's more of a kink at this point. When I discovered male chastity and male chastity devices it was unlike anything I had felt before. It was almost like the "missing link" that I didn't even know I was missing. I honestly had no idea that any of this existed, but now that I do I find it hard not to do it. I'm hoping that one day it may become a lifestyle, but honestly I doubt hat day will come.

[Tame Lion]

I don't think this is a lifestyle. It certainly, as Tom put it, dovetails into lifestyle choices like FLM. But enforced chastity with a device is a special form of bondage. Some of us are locked up full time, but it is still a kink, I think. FLM on the other hand, is a lifestyle. Orgasm control, which is part of our FLM is part of the lifestyle. The chastity device just helps Mrs. Lion enforce her sexual decisions.

[Caged55]

To your point Tame LION, if FLM, and orgasm control is a lifestyle, I would argue that chastity, as part of a FLM or WLM/FLR which we generally concur is a lifestyle due to its permanent nature, then enforced or permanent chastity should be very close to the clasification of a lifestyle too.
We may be discussing semantics, however, considering the "permanence" of chastity in our lives, I tend towards it being part of a lifestyle, as opposed to chastity on its own (for sexual purposes or as temporary play) would be kinky.

Oxford Dictionary defines a lifestyle as:

Definition of lifestyle in English: The way in which a person or group lives...

in which case as many of us "live" in chastity.

Now to throw a curve-ball... chastity certainly started as a sexual kink for many, but then some took it to the next level when it became evident that it should be part of a lifestyle i.e. FLM/WLM/FLR and hence the question is it kink in a "alternatve" lifestyle, or a consumate part of a lifestyle, and therefore an act of submission which forms part of a chosen lifestyle?!

Thanks for your opinions, appreciate the feedback and insights

[slave d]

Sounds like a bunch of semantics to me, potato, tomato, who cares !!

[fuzzydunlop]

I don't get the labels. For some, it is important to asscociate unusual sexual practices with identities, and I think I can relate to that a bit. I think "kink" still carries some negative associations for some, like if you are a "deviant" or a "weirdo". I love the word "kink" and it always perks me up. Maybe I am a deviant and a weirdo.

Chastity is a sexual practice. I think is fair to call it a "kinky" sexual practice because it is a bit unusual and it is something extra or different than simply having sex. Some might like to call it a lifestyle if they do it a lot. I think for a lot of people who have a more moderate interest in labeling it a "lifestyle" that could grow tedious quickly. I will generalize, but guys with their junk locked up can get very self centered about it, and I could see a partner thinking that is fun for a while, but wanting to shake it up a bit.

That being said, I like moderate long term chastity (maybe 14 days - 28 days?) because I do form other good habits during that time, and it refreshes me. I don't think my W will ever totally understand that.

Whatever it is, it's a fun sexual practice when you can balance it with your partners needs and wants.

[Tom Allen]

Sounds like a bunch of semantics to me, potato, tomato, who cares !!

It's easy to dismiss this, but think about the conversations that we often have: what is "chastity," anyway? Is it being permanently locked up? Does it count when you're not locked but still not orgasming? Does it count when you get to orgasm? Do ruined orgasms count? Does it count if she lets you out for sex but you don't get to come?

It's still a relatively new kink, with regard to being able to find affordable devices, so people tend to have those same questions.

With a "lifestyle," you can agree on some commonalities. My thinking is that there aren't enough commonalities to call this a lifestyle, but I'll concede that this is just my own opinion.

[Caged55]

Certainly the "rules" every couple applies to chastity, wether its ruined orgasms, sex without orgasm etc, or the period of "confinement" or permanence of chastity in a relationship, in my opinion, lead to either it being perceived as kink or a lifestyle.

Whatever we percieve it to be, I find it interesting how members feel about this form of sexuality and how it fits into their lives. At the end we all have one-thing in common, and that is chastity, and how we make it part of our lives, or lifestyles really depends on us and our partners.

I discussed this with my wife last night again, who definately initially saw it as a lifestyle "choice", and now tends more towards a FLM requirement, or at least a very effective way of controlling me and to improve my attitude, mannerism, attentiveness etc towards her - simply the benefits of male chastity is something she now wished we had started 15 years ago and incorporated in a life or sexual lifestyle... I guess 15 years chastity ago, was even less known, let alone the vast range of chastity devices available now, through the internet... Given the benefits she enjoys by me being chaste, she would probably head a "Chastity revolution" to convince more couples to explore this as a "kink" and then adopt it as a lifestyle...