looking for help

[yep_nope]

looking to talk or email with someone who could coach me to help my wife get more into this..she played with chastity about two years ago now she is not interseted...

[Michele]

Just making sure you're aware you posted this in a very public forum, members and nonmembers can see it.

Have you tried asking her WHY she stopped?

[Happily caged]

You can go only so far as she wants. It might help to look at it along a spectrum:

1. She is so into it she has given you an ultimatum to accept it.
2. She is so into it she recommended it to you.
3. She is into it enough to accept to hold the keys to please you but beyond that will unlock you at your request and sometimes when she is in the mood, and will often just give you the keys to unlock yourself and let you lock yourself up as you please.
4. She is not enough into it to agree to hold the keys but will allow you to hold the keys to your own cage and wear it if you want to.
5. She is so not into it that she has forbidden you from wearing it anymore.

Where exactly does she stand along this spectrum? You'll have to determine how to incorporate this into the relationship accordingly. I could be wrong, but imagine that most women will probably sit somewhere between 2 and 3 above. Mine sits at 3 above. Essentially she agrees to hold the keys to please me and that is usually it. There has been the rare occasion when she playfully refused to unlock me until I could get her enough in the mood, but usually she really is just pleasing me by doing this.

Had she refused, maybe I would have accepted that I hold the keys but leave them at home and lock myself up only outside the house. Or I might have list interest altogether. I don't know.
Beyond that, I would even agree to abandon it altogether if she really didn't like it.

In the end, you can only go as far as she is willing to go with this.

[Tame Lion]

You can go only so far as she wants. It might help to look at it along a spectrum:

1. She is so into it she has given you an ultimatum to accept it.
2. She is so into it she recommended it to you.
3. She is into it enough to accept to hold the keys to please you but beyond that will unlock you at your request and sometimes when she is in the mood, and will often just give you the keys to unlock yourself and let you lock yourself up as you please.
4. She is not enough into it to agree to hold the keys but will allow you to hold the keys to your own cage and wear it if you want to.
5. She is so not into it that she has forbidden you from wearing it anymore.

I think this is way too narrow. One and two almost never happen in the real world. Then you skip to very casual interest.

Here is what I suggest adding:

2a. You recommended it to her and she agreed to be your keyholder. Over time she has become very involved in her role and you no longer have control over whether or not you are locked. She is firmly in charge.

2b. You suggested it and she agreed to give it a try. She has the keys and will unlock you if you ask to be teased. You control if and when you get an orgasm.

2c. You suggested it and she agreed to hold your key. She will unlock you any time you want and will let you masturbate at will.

[Happily caged]

Thanks Tame Lion. Good points. Maybe I was being a little lazy when I typed that up.

The principle still stands though that the cage-wearer will have to adapt according to where the Key holder sits along that spectrum.

Thanks for improving the list for me.

[Tame Lion]

I think that many of us have mature fantasies that have been living in our heads for years. Then one day the pot boils over and we have to share with our mates. The problem is obvious: we have been dreaming about chastity and have played out many scenarios in our heads. Our partners probably never even heard of enforced chastity until we bring it up.

That was certainly true of us. Mrs. Lion had no real idea what I wanted. In fact, I wasn't too clear either. So she agreed to lock me up because I asked her. In the beginning she was sure I would want to be unlocked after spending a small time indulging this latest kink of mine. However, as months passed, things changed. After a year, I no longer have the option of being released. Her strength and interest in controlling me grows all the time.

I think that in the real world, enforced chastity evolves over time and becomes one more part of the relationship. My ability to control my sexual experiences diminish every month. Spankings that I get because she knows I want discipline will evolve into spankings that she wants to give me in order to make a point.

None of this happens quickly. Let's face it, if you push hard for your fantasy, your partner will push harder to get out. If, on the other hand, your request is easy, then she will work out how your life will go. Over time, enforced chastity becomes the gift you can't return.

[Happily caged]

Very good points, Tame Lion. Mine sits at 3 in the spectrum above, but we've been in it for not even three months yet. Who knows how it will evolve over time. In a year from now it could slide into the 4 scale or rise into one of the 2 scales you described above. Either way though, it will be up to her to decide and to me to adapt.

[Happily caged]

By the way, I would like to recommend that a moderator PM yep-nope to ask if he really wants his e-mail to show up in the OP and if the response is a nope, to remove it.

Thanks.

[Happily caged]

Another possibility to consider is for the one to be caged to also be the key holder and turn the tables on his partner. He unlocks himself when he wants to and can tease her at will.

[Michele]

By the way, I would like to recommend that a moderator PM yep-nope to ask if he really wants his e-mail to show up in the OP and if the response is a nope, to remove it.

Thanks.

He's been asked...