Lady M wrote:I don't want a marble or some dice or whatever dictating when he can or can't cum.
This is *exactly* the attitude that Mrs. Edge has.
But...
kunst wrote:Anyway, I suggested those rules to her and she was very enthusiastic. She likes rules because otherwise she fills guilty for denying me.
This is a pretty good point: Some women really dont' want to feel like they are being mean, cruel, or a bitch. That being the case, using dice, lotto numbers, or some random factor takes the responsibility from their hands. It allows them to say "See, I'm not really a cocktease - it's just that you didn't earn enough points this week."
Lady M wrote:... I don't want a marble or some dice or whatever dictating when he can or can't cum.
I wish you luck, maybe that is something your kh would like to take the pressure off of her.
I am not fluent in English but I am sure I did not write that the dice is dictating when I cum.
The decision to assign the black or white marble is up to her, not to the dice.
Anyway, I suggested those rules to her and she was very enthusiastic. She likes rules because otherwise she fills guilty for denying me.
Kunst,
I was just making a point that *I* want to be the one in control not a system of rules... I prefer it to be whatever my mood happens to be or whatever I'm personally trying to accomplish our push him towards.
However, that it's why I always say, whatever works for you IS the right way! If she wants this and lives the idea that is spectacular!!
@Tom I swear, your wife and I would get along great
Wife, Girlfriend & KeyHolder My boys are Wearing: Jail Bird (cm) Steelheart (a) Owned Devices: MM Jail Bird (x2), MM Spyder, MM Locking Double Cockring, Steelworxx Revenge Click here for Our blog & Podcast
When we were first starting out LRC couldn't get over her years of being told "The woman's place is to make her man happy." or "A man needs an orgasm to be happy and keep him at home."
I couldn't get her to deny me so every time I was let out of the cage I knew an orgasm was going to happen. When I told her this wasn't what I wanted we came up with a dice roll. Odd number no, even number yes. After a string of bad (or good) luck I had three times without an orgasm. There was intercourse each time. After the third time a light went off and she said she didn't need the dice anymore.
I think for some, games can help the KH get over the denial/guilt phase.
Current device - MM Custom
Previous devices - CB2000, 3000, 6000, 6000s, Curve
Thanks everybody for your advices.
I think that we are lucky because we found a way to practice chastity that makes both of us happy. Maybe in the future we will not need anymore the rules, who knows.
But I was wondering how does the keyholder decide when to release the man in chastity? Depending on her mood or what? And how do you establish an approximate duration of the denial time?
Some is saying that my game is centred around male orgasm, but at the end we are talking about male chastity, so denying the orgasm and then all is about the male orgasm (or non-orgasm).
So, what is the non-rule or rule that is behind your decision? I am asking to keyholders, or males who can reply on behalf of them.
The simple answer is: whatever your keyholder wants your keyholder gets.
As for how I decide... well sometimes it's the goal of "going longer than the last time" and sometimes it's a special day (birthday, holiday or anniversary) that I aim for and other times I'll just want it. Hehe
For us, it's easier for cagedmonkey to have a Maybe Day so he doesn't obsess and irritate me daily asking if today is the day. Instead he knows it could be any day but that we are aiming at going to a certain date. Even Maybe Day (as it's named) isn't a definite orgasm but rather a day I will consider giving him one.
Hope that answers your question.
Wife, Girlfriend & KeyHolder My boys are Wearing: Jail Bird (cm) Steelheart (a) Owned Devices: MM Jail Bird (x2), MM Spyder, MM Locking Double Cockring, Steelworxx Revenge Click here for Our blog & Podcast
Before LRC and I got to where we are both comfortable, she would give me a date before she would consider an orgasm. If that day came and went I knew I still wasn't to say anything. Kind of like what Lady M was saying.
We have now evolved to where there is no dates at all. I'm released from the cage and allowed an orgasm whenever LRC wants. I went from early February to the middle of April without the cage coming of. The orgasm didn't happen until May. I never complained or begged because I trusted LRC that this is what she wanted. Since May there's been over ten orgasms. The cage has been off for three weeks and I'm wearing a MM base ring with cock ring. LRC is hinting that it's time for another lock-up. I enjoy the unknown and it took awhile for LRC to learn it. We are now both happy with the way it works for us.
When starting, communication both ways is the most important thing. Don't get fenced in to a routine that someone else tells you what it should be. Communicate with your KH and find what will work for both of you.
There's one thing I had to learn; this is something I asked LRC for. I wanted her in charge. If I'm bugging her about an orgasm, that's me trying to control the arrangement. I am allowed to beg but it's on her terms. I'm allowed to be romantic, beg to satisfy her, kiss and hug her a lot. She uses these actions to gauge how desperate I am.
Current device - MM Custom
Previous devices - CB2000, 3000, 6000, 6000s, Curve
I like the idea of having a scheduled monthly 'Cum Day', which is anticipated and desired but not guaranteed- it is offered in conjunction with certain goals and/or 'rules' for behavior set by the KH. At the KH's discretion, 'Cum Day' may be delayed by one, two, or three weeks...or revoked for that month entirely if the goals are not met or 'rules' are broken...or even if she just wants to screw with you.
The 'training program' can be further modified by by pleasurable rewards (teasing) for correct behavior (or just because the KH enjoys T&D), which also increases the desire for orgasm (and provides more motivation for 'correct' behavior); and by punishments/penalties for incorrect behavior. This provides both positive and negative reinforcements for 'training' and behavior modification.
04/07/19 "And then I 'punished' you by making you lick my pussy after I let my other 'boy' fuck me." --Mrs. Twisted
kunst wrote:Ok. I have never been denied over ten days, but now it is going to happen.
To empty balls, do you practice RO's at fixed intervals (i.e. ten days)?
Not necessarily however intense T&D sessions have the effect of producing a somewhat orgasmic feeling in me. I get the same effect from satisfying MK on a regular basis.
