The nature of chastity fetish

[Luccas]

I am curious about the deeper nature of chastity fetish.
What is so appealing about it?

I understand the aspect of control. For example that only the woman you are committed to decides if you will orgasm and when. For me it's akin to a gift to her. Or like more serious and more committed faithfulness. So, not only you don't cheat her with other women, but also you don't cheat her with your own right (or left) hand.

She is the ultimate authority, your cock is hers.

And this is all fine.

However, there is one aspect that I do not understand fully. Why is a very long denial appealing? Wouldn't we feel equally owned if we were allowed to orgasm much more frequently, but still ONLY when she wants it? And this can be as random as possible, and can depend exclusively on her whim and will.

So, if she wants, it can be 3 times a day, and it can also be once a year, this is completely up to her.

But what I don't understand is why many men prefer it to be rarer rather than more frequent?

Why would anyone want to be denied some pleasure for 3 months, if even the woman wants it maybe more often?

BTW, I am aware that prolonged chastity may be OK health wise, but I have also read a lot of articles that say orgasms themselves are quite healthy. And the fact is... they are pleasurable, and they probably stimulate certain centers in our brain. Also they are completely free, they don't pollute the environment, and they don't raise your cholesterol or make you fat.

So what's the point in avoiding them completely? Wouldn't it be better and smarter to have them still, but just to let the woman decide if and when?

[sherulestherooster]

I am reluctant to admit this, but it's true, and we both know it: I am a better husband and our relationship is better when my wife teases and denies me and she is fully sexually satisfied. Sure, I get the submissive pleasure out of the control aspect which you describe below, but when I am teased and denied, it is like we were dating. I try to impress her. I buy starbucks for her (which she loves), I am more affectionate (sometimes too affectionate), I get a lot of spontaneous erections, and generally have a sense of well being, like I am walking on cloud 9. It's like we are courting her again, and I liken it to very, very long foreplay.

When I orgasm, this goes away fast. She doesn't like it. I have tried through willpower to overcome this "orgasm hangover" effect, with some success. But things are different once I am relieved and neither of us like that effect.

I should also add, that my orgasms are much stronger after I've been teased and denied for a period of time. My ejaculate volume and distances is like when I was much younger.

I am probably in the minority here, but I do think men should have orgasms periodically to flush things out. I am a scientist by training, and I read a lot about sex. I have probably read as many articles saying ejaculation helps men as ejaculations are not needed. Heck, there is still no consensus in the scientific community as to what is a healthy diet. My thoughts are to take these studies with a grain of salt and do what YOU think is right. I don't want to be denied for too long, although it is arousing when my wife wants to "break my record".

In our play, it seems like we are going to a feast/famine mode, where I may be denied for a bit, then get a fair amount of orgasms back to back. This sort of mitigates the issues I have when I come.

[locked4her55]

This question has come up before and for me it's an age thing.

I would have loved back 40 years ago to have the information and devices available now on the market, just to try it out.

Back then I was having multiple orgasms a day and if you told me I was going to have to go without for up to 30 days I would have said "what are you nuts".

At my age now I really enjoy the sexual high I am on between orgasms.

[Tame Lion]

This does come up a lot. I don't know why some men want to have orgasms withheld indefinitely, but it clearly turns them on to have this happen. I do know that in my case, at least, I need to have an orgasm withheld long enough for me to unmistakably know that I am not in control. In the beginning, Mrs. Lion had me wait about three days. That pretty well corresponds to what I would want anyway. Now the waits are longer and toward the end (like now...no orgasm in 10 days, 1 to go), I am truly desperate and I feel her control strongly.

I, for one, am not a better husband because I am not coming. If that's true for some, fine; just not for me. I have always done my share and continue to do so. Mrs. Lion gets orgasms when she wants them and always has. We are doing this because I asked for it.

[grubber]

I am with sherulestherooster. My wife and I are in our mid fifties and this works very well for us.
We kind if grew apart over the years with kids, mortages, work etc. and now it's like we are dating again like back in our twenties. Actually better. It's simply awesome the connection we have now.

My wife was never big on penetration as she has never orgasmed that way anyway. She will take oral over vaginal all day long so this works very well for her.

For me, I always thought I liked orgasms and ejaculation and nothing was better, but now I like the incredible constant horny high I am at 24/7/365 so much more than the actual ejaculation. I ache and throb more often then not and the feeling to me is indescribable. It's not just in my cock anymore. My whole body feels it now. Especially when my wife and I are laying together just kissing and hugging and caressing. Or things like when she hugs me on the motorcycle, or winks at me at a party. Just seeing the twinkle of her eyes lights me up.

LIke sherulestherooster, I don't like the letdown after ejaculation. Nor does my wife.

Probably unlike most men, I don't care if I ever have a full ejaculation ever again. I now prefer ruined ejaculations where the cum just oozes without any pulsing, just the throbbing when its over as they make me even more aroused than before it happened. Didn't know this could be possible nor did I realize that this horny high can always get even higher. Not to mention how good my wife is ruining me and arousing me.

Wished we learned about this lifestyle earlier in life but we are glad we are enjoying it now.

[LOCKED HUSBAND]

I agree with sherulestherooster and grubber.
For me I get that let down after orgasm and it sucks. I would prefer to be teased and denied , the best for me is when I just leak uncontrollably. This has happened from just conversation once from a text message ( just saying I love you) . By far the best was from just a hug , the sexual high was great with no let down . I find myself eagerly awaiting for this type of release. It is just a wonderful feeling when my cum just starts to flow, the emotional high is tremendous.
The other up side was catching my cum when this happen and licking it from my hand, no desire lost like with a full orgasm.
There is no planning or set up it, when the emotional level is right it just happens.
Anyone else have this happen??

[LockedandLoved]

Others have nailed it in this thread.

I read once that men don't so much want to orgasm as they want to feel aroused. That is the feeling we crave.

It's kind of like eating a really good ice cream cone. Every bite is delicious but when you get to the last bite you might become a little sad. You know that the last bite means it's over. No more delicious taste.

For me the orgasm is the last bite.

The drop off that all men have after orgasm is well documented. I suspect that when the history of the late 20th and early 21st century is written, we will see plenty of evidence that excessive orgasms , fueled by internet porn, caused many problems in the male population.

We are made for sex. We are made to orgasm. Still it's pretty clear that those orgasms should be with the women we love. If we have to be denied by them to get them it's so much better.

Try an experiment.

Masturbate once a day for 29 days. On the 30th day have an orgasm with your keyholder however you wish. Record your feelings.

Now go 29 days with no masturbation or orgasms. Again on the 30th day have an orgasm with your KH

I suspect you will note that the intensity , the duration and the feeling of the latter orgasm are FAR superior than the orgasm after the first month.

We want denial. We crave it. We just don't always know it.

[Tame Lion]

It's hard to disagree that we all want denial in some form. However, exactly what each of us considers denial varies considerably. Some love the arousal and consider the orgasm anti-climatic (most on this thread, I think). I don't agree. My interest is in my KH controlling me sexually. So, I want her to make me *need* to come very badly. I want her to tease me, and when she decides, give me an orgasm. This doesn't require long waits. I am pretty crazy to come after 10 days or so. The hardware is important to me too. I like being caged. It is real evidence of my penis belonging to her.

Earlier this year my KH decided to make me come every day. I hated it. It wasn't because I wanted to wait. It was because at this age my body just doesn't like orgasms daily. It used to, but no longer. We frequently go on a three day wait, then orgasm schedule. That is very nice for me, but I admit I prefer longer just so I can feel her control. If I were unlocked, I would want to get off about once every three days.

After six months of lockup, Mrs. Lion is getting very good at chastity. I am mostly enjoying the change. (today is my 11th day and I will get to orgasm tonight, so right now I am tree-humping horny)

[Tom Allen]

There's no question that I'm more frequently and easily aroused when denied, and being the source of the arousal in turn arouses Mrs. Edge.

For me, I enjoy the arousal, so being aroused indefinitely is mostly fine.

For Mrs Edge, she enjoys the attention, so keeping me aroused indefinitely is mostly fine.

[MrCage]

I wouldn't call it a fetish. It's more of a lifestyle. I think of it as an adjunct to our sex life. We don't NEED it to have a sex life, it is just something that adds a different dimension to it. While it is sexual, it is also mental . And we know that sex is 90% mental. And this is why chastity makes sex and everything else so much better.