Is this site recommended for wary new keyholders?

[Tame Lion]

It isn't an easy conversation to have. I had the talk first. I explained what I thought would be "fun" for me. I asked if that was something she might want to try with me. I didn't introduce tease and denial first. That's actually a bit tougher for my wife, at least. She doesn't like to feel that she is taking something away from me. Being locked up was easier for her to accept. (She still has trouble with tease and denial). She thinks it is just a kink of mine, but is willing to do it for me. I think that is the most I can ask right now. She locked me up and is learning how she wants to handle letting me out for "a stretch" or for release (and one tease and deny so far).

It's not going to happen quickly. I found the chastity device conversation way less intimidating to her. By the way, I have a section on my blog that is for a prospective or new keyholder that does not once mention panties or other stuff like that. I tried to make it a straightforward look at what we want and offered some ideas about why you might be asking this of her. Take a look. It's free....hmmmm maybe I could charge just $19.99 for it LOL. The link is http://www.malechastityjournal.com/caging-your-man/. However, I strongly suggest you discuss it first.

[charliechaste]

Thanks again everyone,

Well I took my first small baby step last night. Rather than 'the talk', it was something of a pre-talk. Where I admitted to certain personal habits (of mine) that I was unhappy about. How, even though she said it didn't bother her, it bothers me greatly and I could really do with some help stopping. I know, sounds minor, but that particular topic has NEVER been mentioned in our 15 years, so it is a big departure for us. Actually feels great to have just uttered the 'M' word.

Now that the door is open, I think I will try progressing to the idea of my abstaining from orgasm for a little while to see what happens. Before moving to where I'm told I can't, we'll try a little of agreeing I won't.

Thanks for listening.

[celticqueens_sub]

Elise Sutton also has some good guidance to offer, although it is more FemDomme type stuff. But it is done in a sensible way where that type of dynamic works for a couple.

She wrote a book that has the title along the lines of Female Loving Authority, it is not specifically about chastity but it does cover the subject. Just search for her name and I am sure you will find a ton of links etc.

CQ''s sub

[Michele]

That is absolutely fantastic! Great step and slow is a great way to do it!

[charliechaste]

Hi guys, just checking in. I've no real update to offer, have not managed to progress very far. I did try to broach the subject of my not having an orgasm every time. She said I was losing it, kidding that maybe I should see a counsellor. I explained that when I didn't it made me feel even closer to her, but that didn't cut it. I tried again later just after she'd cum and I started to withdraw, but she pulled me in and said she wanted me to cum. Of course, what she wants, she gets, so I obliged.
We don't do much sexually at the best of times, so I've been able to experiment a little with abstaining and going for extended periods without relief. I figure my 'energising' period is approx 12 days. So approx 12 days after my last orgasm, however that was produced, I get that supercharged feeling of being head over heels in love with her, like a teenager. I also find that after this 12 day fast I'll start really having difficulty keeping my hands off myself. That is when I feel the need/desire for a locked CD.
I am still convinced I can introduce chastity to our marriage, but sloooooowly is definitely how this one is going to play out. I so enjoy checking in on this forum, and listening to those who've reached a nice balance that works for both parties. So, if anyone has any miracle suggestions for how I can take a tiny baby step closer, I'll be all ears. If I could only explain why I love feeling this post-12 day feeling, how I want to always stay above my 12 day threshold, how it will benefit us both.

[mellyshubby]

Hi,
I can offer a couple tips to help you.

Visit keptforher.com and let her read the section "why chastity?" This will explain things in a non threatening way that will most likely get her interested in giving it a try.

Approach the whole thing as a game, which is how my wife and I look at it. I give her control of my sex life, except for the last 4 days of each month. This gives her enough latitude to make things real interesting for me (and her), but provides a regular vacation for me to recover.

Good Luck

[coffee2sugars]

Our introduction was not planned. I bought a cheap device for a laugh and told her she could keep the the key for weekend.

Back then neither us were planning anything more than just a little bit of fun. We were both shocked at how quickly we both fell inro the role.

I highly recommend researching the term sub drop as it can effect both of you but most importantly I recommend that as much as you are researching try to let chastity lifestyle grow and be unique to your relationship. It is easy to read how it works for other couples and in your excitement try to copy that but chastity is not a one size fits all lifestyle and is do much more better when it evolves arround your existing lifestyle.

Good luck.

[newtochast57]

I agree with Lady M that Sarah Jameson's book at $79.00 is way too pricey however she does have a free tease & denial guide called "How to drive your man insane with desire" (43pages Adobe doc). You can also sign up for free emails from her that have some good advice however is also trying to sell you her book.

A couple of cheaper books are available on Amazon.com. Georgia Ivey Green has a book "A Keyholder's Handbook: A Womans guide to male chastity" This book has some good advice for a keyholder on chastity but be aware she also talks about some other fetishes such as feminization, humiliation and others. This book is less than $10.00 and can be downloaded as an Adobe document (73pages).

Another book available from Amazon and is more vanilla than Green's book but is an excellent starters guide is "Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders" by Lucy Fairbourne. This book (86 pages) can be downloaded in the Kindle format also for just less than $10.00. If you don't have a KINDLE you can download a Kindle reader for your computer at no cost.

I am very new to this and approached my wife to be my keyholder less than 2 months ago. I proposed chastity as a game and she agreed to give it a try. Due to a family emergency I just got home after 2 weeks away. My wife who has been on this site and is registered as a keyholder has read Jameson's guide and has tried some of the things on me.

She has no problem with me wearing the device but has not taken the key as of yet. Today she asked me how to access the Kindle book from Fairbourne. She has continued to show interest and teases me regularly (when I've been home). She has even told me several times that I was not allowed to come (just hearing those words alone almost gave me an orgasm). We continue to take it slow and will do so until she is comfortable taking control of the key.

[charliechaste]

Thanks for the continued support and encouragement all. I am really determined to do this right as I feel I have only one shot at it. So my policy continues to be baby steps, baby steps all the way. I'm at 16 days right now of self-imposed abstention, so in full-on adoration mode, and she's noticed. This morning, I think she was pleased when I moved her hand off my weekend wood and suggested we just cuddle for a while, it's the first time we've had a chance to have some together time in a few weeks, so I genuinely didn't want it to be just a shag. What I'm hoping to do tonight is tell her about my efforts to stop my bad habit, and tell her how good it feels after 16 days without. I'm going to ask her to help me get through the month without an orgasm, to see how it makes me feel. Plenty of fun time, just no money shot for me. That's my plan, no pretence that it's for her, it's for me, but she might enjoy the results. Believe me, for her, this is a leap, even though ot might sound so trivial to you who've been lucky enough to reach the nirvana of 24/7.
Thanks as always for your input.

[Michele]

I agree with Lady M that Sarah Jameson's book at $79.00 is way too pricey however she does have a free tease & denial guide called "How to drive your man insane with desire" (43pages Adobe doc). You can also sign up for free emails from her that have some good advice however is also trying to sell you her book.

A couple of cheaper books are available on Amazon.com. Georgia Ivey Green has a book "A Keyholder's Handbook: A Womans guide to male chastity" This book has some good advice for a keyholder on chastity but be aware she also talks about some other fetishes such as feminization, humiliation and others. This book is less than $10.00 and can be downloaded as an Adobe document (73pages).

Another book available from Amazon and is more vanilla than Green's book but is an excellent starters guide is "Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders" by Lucy Fairbourne. This book (86 pages) can be downloaded in the Kindle format also for just less than $10.00. If you don't have a KINDLE you can download a Kindle reader for your computer at no cost.

I am very new to this and approached my wife to be my keyholder less than 2 months ago. I proposed chastity as a game and she agreed to give it a try. Due to a family emergency I just got home after 2 weeks away. My wife who has been on this site and is registered as a keyholder has read Jameson's guide and has tried some of the things on me.

She has no problem with me wearing the device but has not taken the key as of yet. Today she asked me how to access the Kindle book from Fairbourne. She has continued to show interest and teases me regularly (when I've been home). She has even told me several times that I was not allowed to come (just hearing those words alone almost gave me an orgasm). We continue to take it slow and will do so until she is comfortable taking control of the key.

These are exactly all the books I own that I recommend to people. I have read others but these are probably some of the best out there - until I write mine haha