She has figured out the advantages

[samsneed35]

My fiance has my locked up 24/7 right now and has set up a point system for me to clean the house.She grades my chores and I get a score at the end and figures up how many minutes I can be released for.I had to take a few breaks last night being my first night of cleaning because I kept getting so excited it was hurting my balls in turn she deducted points from any time I stopped so needless to say I only have 20 minutes if freedom and last night I had to bring her to orgasim twice.She said you can use your 20 minutes another night. Wow is all I can say

[Intense_Restraint]

I'm trading extra household chores for sexual favors also, and I find that I enjoy the work because I'm thinking of the reward. My wife enjoys seeing the work done for her, so this strategy makes us both happy.

[Rocky]

Most of us started out playing games for various reasons so that we and our partner got used to Chastity. For my wife and I, chastity is a part of our wife led marriage and is combined with Domestic Discipline, D/S, BDSM and Teasing and Denial. They all are elements of our WLM so our approach to chastity may be different than some. We recently ended our chastity games after we both got comfortable with it. My wife loves it, especially the teasing part and has said that it will be a long time before I have an orgasm. I do not know what her definition of a long time is but I know that it will be longer than a few weeks. I seem to remember discussing an orgasm every month or two when we last discussed it before ending our games.

My household chores were never connected with chastity. My wife does not treat that as a game. She took the time to make sure that I learned to do everything to her satisfaction and was very patient with me. Twice in the early months I forgot to do some things a few times in a row and she administered enough strokes of her crop or paddle to bruise my butt and improve my memory. Since then, I have never forgotten to do my chores. Her punishment is not sensual or erotic at all. It is purely pain.

The only thing that would affect my chastity period is to ask for sex or ask for an orgasm when she decides to have sex. I already blew that last week and was informed that she was planning to give me an orgasm for Valentine's Day but I bugged her so mush about it that it is now postponed indefinitely. However, in respect of our love for each other, she will perform oral on me but not to completion. If you asked me 6 months ago if I thought that our little T&D with chastity game would end up like this, I would have said you were crazy because sex is not sex without an orgasm by at least one of us. It was just one of our games but now is part of our lifestyle. Be careful about chastity play. Women tend to grow to love it and the control and behavior modification that goes with it. They soon tire of playing games like we all do over time and at that time she will know if she wants to continue with Chastity or not.

[Tame Lion]

We've started out with no games. I agree that there is little long term potential for game playing. It seems to me that the only way this is going to work long term is if she finds benefits in the lifestyle that makes it worthwhile for her. This is one reason why I don't like the game playing approach. While some argue that games give your keyholder ideas and insight, I am not so sure. Games tend to give the locked partner a way to act out hot chastity fantasies. While this is certainly understandable, for a new keyholder it sets forced chastity up as "play" and as such, probably won't make the "connection" with full time chastity.

My approach was to present the idea of lockup to my wife. I told her what I was thinking; no fantasies, just that I wanted to be locked up and have her decide when I could orgasm. She agreed. The temptation was to start filling her in on how I imagined this would play out, but I am resisting. I have suggested that she might want to unlock me and check for sores, etc. when I feel that something is going on. I have avoided asking for orgasm. I have also made a point of giving her extra sexual and emotional attention. I am sure she understands that I am grateful for her locking me up. She has released me for 24 hours a couple of times in the last three weeks because she found sores that she wanted to heal. After being a "wild lion" for a day, I gently tell her that I miss my cage. She either tells me that she will lock me up later when the redness is gone, or agrees to lock me up. On her own she is catching on. Yesterday she sent me a text that she loves me more than anything (we do that a lot, daily in fact). I replied, "really?" She replied to me with "aren't you caged?" That says it. She is slowly getting into it.
I know this won't be popular here, but I believe that games represent a way to top from the bottom. It's a way to influence how your chastity will work. I am sure that the way to success is to let your partner discover her own games. Trust her to incorporate chastity into your lives.

[LockedUp24]

We also started on a Chore sheet and its still there for me to do each day when im not working but small chores are still expected Dishes,cleaning,kids to school etc.
But now its slowly becoming apart of routine and now has no influence on any Play or release and everything is all down to my KHs choice and that was only 3 or 4 weeks ago.

She is slowly figuring out what she likes or wants from Chastity play and intends to take full advantage.GULP

[belocked]

I know this won't be popular here, but I believe that games represent a way to top from the bottom. It's a way to influence how your chastity will work. I am sure that the way to success is to let your partner discover her own games. Trust her to incorporate chastity into your lives.

Tame Lion, I'm with you on this. This are moving much slower than I would choose (my wife leaves me unlocked much more than locked) but it's important to me that we move at her pace so she is comfortable rather than me pushing her too fast. Some day she will stop feeling sorry for me and then I may get more than I bargain for. I look forward to finding out.

[Michele]

I know this won't be popular here, but I believe that games represent a way to top from the bottom. It's a way to influence how your chastity will work. I am sure that the way to success is to let your partner discover her own games. Trust her to incorporate chastity into your lives.

Tame Lion, I'm with you on this. This are moving much slower than I would choose (my wife leaves me unlocked much more than locked) but it's important to me that we move at her pace so she is comfortable rather than me pushing her too fast. Some day she will stop feeling sorry for me and then I may get more than I bargain for. I look forward to finding out.

In a way this is how we feel too... it takes the control away from me BUT that said, for women who aren't quite ready for the responsibility it can help them get going and not "give in". So I get it, it's helpful for som and just fun for others but still others feel they want complete control.

[TwistedMister]

I know this won't be popular here, but I believe that games represent a way to top from the bottom. It's a way to influence how your chastity will work. I am sure that the way to success is to let your partner discover her own games. Trust her to incorporate chastity into your lives.

The problem with this discussion (as I see it), is that there seems to be an undercurrent of "There is only one 'right' way to do this."

It isn't true. What is right for one isn't necessarily right for another. There are some for whom some level of 'game' is appropriate and comfortable. For others, even 'topping from the bottom' may be an appropriate and satisfying experience for both partners. Then there are the 'purists', for whom only total control is acceptable.

The fact is that there is a scale, a range of positions and methods which vary depending on experience, comfort, personal preference, attitude, and even compromise. There is no 'one size fits all'.

[Rocky]

I think that the under current is more of a wife truly accepting the basic psychological premise, not how they proceed thereafter. My wife started out not believing in chastity but doing it because she wanted to please me. It took time and work for her to "get it". Once she got it, I no longer had a say about how she would proceed. Does she do it like my mental picture, no. However, she understands the dynamics, psychology and physiology of chastity. Just the other night she gleefully exclaimed that she just loved the control she had over me.

That feeling of control spilled over into all other areas of our life. Believe me, she does it all her way. I do understand that many men want their fantasy played out according to the script in their heads and are unhappy with less. I hear this from key holders all the time. With someone new to this, some topping from the bottom is necessary. The ability to relinquish total control to the key holder is necessary to continue in this lifestyle.

[Nostromo]

The problem with this discussion (as I see it), is that there seems to be an undercurrent of "There is only one 'right' way to do this."

I fully agree, Twisted. My KH and I don't enjoy roleplaying games and structured tasks, but I understand and respect those who like or need them as a portal to live out their desires.