How did you discover your kink for orgasm denial?

[locked4her55]

So you could say we discovered our kink for male orgasm denial by being too cheap to get a separate hotel room or too concerned about plastering my load in a relative's house.

That's a good one.

[Edgewood]

I discovered mine by mistake while doing a bit of research on the Hitachi Magic Wand. I came across a blog post where the guy gave his wife an orgasm with the wand but wasn't "allowed" to come himself. I thought WTF? Then I dug into the blog further and found out he was locked in a chastity device of the CBxxxx series. After I saw a picture of the CB3000 I think I had wood for about 2 straight days. The rest is history.

[kinkyconsumer]

I discovered mine way back in time. I read The Joy of Sex and in the "Pickles and Relishes" section was a discussion of "Slow Masturbation" which was a very cool way of doing orgasm denial. I tried it with my partner of the time and it was amazing....brought just to the edge over and over. It was exquisite. That started me thinking about male orgasm control...well MY orgasm control and I realized that denying orgasm could be way more exciting than actually having an orgasm. Some years later in the days before the Internet there were bulletin boards accessed by dialing a number that connects to the owner of the bulletin board's computer. I found one that was dedicated to bdsm for want of a better term. There was a bit of discussion about bondage and teasing. I loved it. A couple of years later the early, pre-web internet had news groups. They had funny names that were supposed to assist in finding things you wanted to read and write. Two of them: alt.sex.bondage and alt.sex.spanking covered these topics well. I learned even more. After the web got going, I found altairboy's site. It covered the male chastity fetish really well with contributions about hardware, escape, and some fantasies. I decided to pursue it by learning more and starting a website. I did. That was fifteen years ago. Over that time I got to meet and learn from a lot of people. I have one of the first CB2000's. It is hand made of lucite. It was before the owner could afford a mold to inject them. Mistress Lori and I have had a long and sometimes stormy relationship. I have had at least six different models of her devices. I had a frenum piercing. They were nearly impossible to wear long term. they were so heavy I feared my piercing would tear out. Since then they have gotten better. I became friends of the owner of Access Denied, a company that made truly inescapable full chastity belts. He made me one. I write about that on my site. What an experience! Lately I have been playing with the inexpensive Chinese cages. The ones I have gotten are really 308 stainless steel and surprisingly well made. I am thinking about selling them on Amazon.

While I have never had a partner who wants to lock me up, I still have played with the toys and experienced orgasm denial. I love it and expect to continue the rest of my life. Maybe one day someone will lock me up.

[fuzzydunlop]

I suspect many of us were chronic wankers who find ourselves in a situation where we couldn't wank for several days and then found out how crazy intense waiting can make an orgasm.

I was probably in early HS in the 1980's when I read a Penthouse advice column about a woman who found that her lover was so much more attentive when she made him wait all weekend, and was considering making him wait a lot longer. That was probably the first T&D story I read.

The first totally hot totally fantasy story I read on line was the one below, which I read before Altarboy's site, but found its way there:

http://www.tpe.com/~altarboy/chastity.htm

[kinkyconsumer]

tcs,

Very hot story. Seems to me I ran across that years ago too. Still gets a rise out of me.

[fuzzydunlop]

tcs,

Very hot story. Seems to me I ran across that years ago too. Still gets a rise out of me.

I must have read it the first time about 20 years ago, or so. It made an impression. Must have been when I was figuring out that femdom in general appealed to me.

Back then, a lot of the online materials dealt with very expensive full belts or how I build your own chastity device. It is a kink that has evolved with technology.

[kinkyconsumer]

I had an Access Denied full belt. They made it for me to review. What a trip wearing it! It truly was escape proof and no way to touch.

[Subinmemphis]

My kh found a toy on extremerestraints.com called the intruder. When it arrived, there was a mini catalog in the box. It advertised a couple of different devices, which brought up the topic of male chastity. We started searching online and found a cheap device just to test the waters.after quickly realizing that it didn't fit very well, we discussed an expensive custom fit device and whether or not we would use it enough to justify the expense. I now have a MMQK. It doesn't get used as much as I thought it would, which is good for me. I like masturbating. A lot. But every once in a while when we are just hanging around at her house, she'll say "Let's get you into your cage. "
The first time, she had placed cards all over town in inconspicuous locations. One was on my front door, and each had a clue that led to the next, and the last one led to where she was sitting at a fancy restaurant. Afterward came the t&d and then fantastic orgasms for us both. We are both as horny as rabbits and she doesn't care for fake dicks or cuckoldry, so it never stays on for more than a couple of days.

[Atone]

When it arrived, there was a mini catalog in the box.

Those mini catalogs were great. I didn't get started with chastity that way but I remember in my youth (way before the internet or even dial up BBS's) reading things like penthouse forum. I remember an ad for a "penis whip". That was all it took. It was a few years before I found one (you know, you had be old enough to drive and actually go places to get things) but eventually I did. I still have it , not my wife's favorite thing but that might be ok, boy does it sting. We have a nice thin paddle that we both like better.

[Rocky]

Chastity began as an offshoot to our BDSM games after my wife broke up with her longtime girlfriend. Long story short, she wanted me to impregnate her and I refused so she told us that her desire for a baby was strong and if I could not give her one, she wanted to find a husband, get married and have a baby because she did not want to be a single mother but wanted a family to bring a baby into. So we all parted on good terms but with sadness. She got married quickly with a guy she met in an online dating website and had a son.

We had moved to different States about 3 times after the breakup but always kept in touch with her. Life went on and either my wife or I would bring home women from time to time that we knew from work or the neighborhood. We mostly seemed to find bitter middle aged and divorced women who wanted to give girl to girl sex a try in an environment that included a guy to feel more at ease about it. Sort of like cuckolds that want to perform oral on men but only in the context of their cuckold lifestyle and demand of their wife. Most times they turned into tigers with my wife, finding it very hot to have a man and women please her. A few times the woman would not be comfortable with the attentions of my wife and my wife would leave us alone after assuring the woman that it was OK to have sex with me. Sometimes it was the opposite but most times they let me watch. Tough life, I know.

After menopause my wife became less interested in sex with anyone so we stopped our threesomes and settled into an almost vanilla sex life. My wife still ran the household and life went on. Last year we wanted to spice up our sex life so my wife got into some S&M stuff with me since I was a sexual submissive. Then the D part of BDSM came into play as I encouraged my wife to be more dominant as it was difficult for me to be submissive during sex and dominant afterwards, especially since she was in charge of our marriage. We never got back into bondage as it was more fun with two women teasing me and forcing me to watch them do things I always dreamt about.

As the years passed and people near our age had white hair, wrinkles and medical problems, my wife lost all interest in being with another women but still comments when she sees a got young woman on the TV or in the Movies. Our sex life became routine and boring. Yes, even fetishes can become boring over a few decades. Although we have always had a computer since the Apple II, neither of us ever visited sex related forums or blogs. We occasionally bought stuff from the Stockroom but that was it. Last year a friend told me about Fetlife so I registered with them. It was there that I found groups about Cuckolding, very active and Chastity, very inactive. Most guys I knew that engaged in group sexual activities, liked to watch their wife with other guys but not like I read on Fetlife. Not even close as it seemed that watching your wife with another man became formalize and the same fantasy appeared on many of the website I subsequently visited for more information. I found it interesting since in the old days we sort of made up our own fantasies. Not for us, at least not the way it is described on the internet.

Chastity fascinated us because it was a fetish where avoid orgasms was the goal. To us, frequent orgasms were desirable and we only played tease and denial for very short times as part of our BDSM games. Trying to make this shorter but my life was complicated sexually. We had a WLM mixed with some D/S, BDSM and Domestic Discipline plus our normal life that we slipped in and out of when needed or got tired of all the other things. I do not care what anyone says, it takes an effort and role playing for most fetishes and sometimes you just need to step away and be your vanilla self.

My wife always enjoyed the teasing and denial until the end of our sex game better than the S&M part. She often tied me up either to a bed or chair and made me watch her with her last girlfriend who was really into the S&M part of BDSM. Without her, we were left with teasing and some mild S&M stuff. We wanted more and that is when I mentioned chastity to my wife. She was not really interested in denying me orgasms because she wanted more attention as I was at her beck and call already. She also was not interested in long term chastity. On my part, I was not interested in the feeling of being denied. To me it was always a punishment in our BDSM play and expected an orgasm after a few hours or a day or two at most. In the past we had tried some of the old fashioned devices available to prevent erections or make them painful. My wife had used them on me a few times while tied to the bed. Then her girlfriend and she would try to arouse me to have erections. I did not like that too much so we only did that on occasion. Honestly, I was worried about the effects of spikes piercing my penis.

I showed my wife the CB line of devices an we settled on the CB6000s as a good staring point to see if we liked chastity. When it arrived we played with it and tried using it 24/7 for a few days and then only using it during daytime but eventually settled on occasional use when my wife is not with me which is rare. We also experimented with how long I could go without an orgasm and only made it to 10 days. My wife preferred simultaneous orgasms as that intensified her own so we went back to having sex twice a week and occasionally she would deny me one of those days. We ended up using the CB6000s to prevent me from masturbating in between our date nights as my wife was noticing that it was getting difficult to arouse me and I was not producing much after I came.

Recently my wife wanted me to be chaste for three weeks leading up to Valentine's day. As usual, despite her statements of making me wait, she gave me an orgasm after the first week because she wanted me to have it with her. I think that we both talk about longer term chastity but when it comes down to it we are old and never know when our orgasm will be our last so one of us always gives in and we never made it past 10 days. I still want to try going for 2 full weeks just to see what my limits are as I do for all fetishes I get into. I won a bet on the Super Bowl with her and I can use that to make it very advantageous for her to not make me have an orgasm because when she does, she has to do it the way she least likes to do it.

So that is it. It will probably go on like this until we reach our limits and then lose interest in it for long term and go back to using it as part of our D/S and Domestic Discipline play for the short term. So that is when I first knew about chastity but it still remains to be seen if it becomes my kink. Right now is the exploratory stage and I see benefits in no longer masturbating. However, I do not find being aroused all the time to be fun after a few days. I am guessing that we will use chastity as a punishment or discipline thing from time to time but I cannot imagine us elevating it to the level of our other fetishes. Time will tell and for now I am still trying to get my wife to let me see what my limit is but despite her firm words of not letting me cum, she always does.