I just gotta say... the "assumptions" get really old

[Atone]

Aw, but I like most of the things on that list.

Might be the first time I proved a stereotype.

I don't have any problem with folks liking those things, my problem is when people assume that we ALL do.

Or that one leads to the other

[Tom Allen]

You can add married to your list. Everyone says that once you get married the sex becomes infrequent.

Infrequent? Dang, that's the problem: I thought she said she wanted it "in frequently", not "infrequently."

[chastehub]

Infrequent? Dang, that's the problem: I thought she said she wanted it "in frequently", not "infrequently."

[locked4her55]

Aw, but I like most of the things on that list.

Might be the first time I proved a stereotype.

Not only might this be the first time you proved a stereotype, it might be a record you set by joining this Forum and posting 24 replies in 4 hours. Tho I didn't see a post in the "Hello world" thread"

[Subhubby1968]

I haven't dealt with anyone in public that knows of my kinks so I don't have any real life experience with it.

It is amazing some of the stereotypes that do show up as soon as someone hears you are kinky.

When I used to frequent the yahoo chat rooms, I ran into some guys that figured that since I wanted to be a panty wearing sub to my wife that I also wanted to be cuckolded.

Oh well.

All you can do is ignore them and move on.

[fuzzydunlop]

I'm tired of reading how many people assume that if you're interested in chastity you are:

Interested in cuckolding
Want to be a sissy maid
Are seeking forced-bi
Don't get to have sex


/rantmodeoff

Yes, yes, only in the most dirtiest of fantasies, no…

What exactly is it that makes you so tired of assumptions? Sometimes I think posters on this site think chastity is some kind of "purer" kink an people don't make any assumptions about other kinks. One time, I went to a BDSM club, and the folks over there were like "we don't do anything crazy like swinging"…another time, I went to a swingers club, and they folks over there were like "we don't do anything crazy like BDSM, we are all about fun here"…I could imagine there is some sissy maid some where blogging right now about how s/he isn't into some crazy stuff like locking a hunk of metal to her clitty cock….and some cuckold blogging about how he is only into a vanilla version of cuckolding, i.e., enjoying his dear wife getting pleasure, but not into crazy submissiveness or humiliation or anything.

What is it that annoys you all about this? At this stage of my life, I really wouldn't care if someone thought I was a cock sucker if I was out expressing myself in some scene.

Chastity is a niche kink…the folks on this board spend a lot, like a way lot, more time thinking about it than anything else. How can you expect someone else, who may not know a lot about it, "get" it right away. Assumptions are something we humans make. Folks of other kinks can be more like minded than you might think at first.

Keep Chastity Weird, Baby!

[RegularJoe]

I'm tired of reading how many people assume that if you're interested in chastity you are:

Interested in cuckolding
Want to be a sissy maid
Are seeking forced-bi
Don't get to have sex


/rantmodeoff

Yes, yes, only in the most dirtiest of fantasies, no…

What exactly is it that makes you so tired of assumptions? Sometimes I think posters on this site think chastity is some kind of "purer" kink an people don't make any assumptions about other kinks. One time, I went to a BDSM club, and the folks over there were like "we don't do anything crazy like swinging"…another time, I went to a swingers club, and they folks over there were like "we don't do anything crazy like BDSM, we are all about fun here"…I could imagine there is some sissy maid some where blogging right now about how s/he isn't into some crazy stuff like locking a hunk of metal to her clitty cock….and some cuckold blogging about how he is only into a vanilla version of cuckolding, i.e., enjoying his dear wife getting pleasure, but not into crazy submissiveness or humiliation or anything.

What is it that annoys you all about this? At this stage of my life, I really wouldn't care if someone thought I was a cock sucker if I was out expressing myself in some scene.

Chastity is a niche kink…the folks on this board spend a lot, like a way lot, more time thinking about it than anything else. How can you expect someone else, who may not know a lot about it, "get" it right away. Assumptions are something we humans make. Folks of other kinks can be more like minded than you might think at first.

Keep Chastity Weird, Baby!

+1

Kink is a buffet...

[Aarkey]

What is it that annoys you all about this? At this stage of my life, I really wouldn't care if someone thought I was a cock sucker if I was out expressing myself in some scene.

I guess the thing that annoys me most is the stereo-typing and pigeon-holing. I don't really care much what someone thinks of me, but when they assume that everyone who does X also does Y, it creates a misconception. And there are already so many misconceptions about what kinksters are and aren't in the world, and how we're portrayed as either sociopaths or absurd comic relief characters in the mainstream media - when we generalize within our own communities, especially if there is an intolerance included with it, I find it offensive.

I don't judge others for their kink, and I certainly don't feel like a snob at all about any of it. I'm a full on kinky bugger. Chastity is just one part of my kinky list and repertoire. But as I identify as an "alpha" personality type, I suspect I not only feel a need to verbalize my objection to it, but I also don't want people to make assumptions about me, and treat me or talk to me, in ways I don't want.

[eido]

You can add married to your list. Everyone says that once you get married the sex becomes infrequent.

You mean it doesn't? What the...

[fuzzydunlop]

but when they assume that everyone who does X also does Y, it creates a misconception.

I am curious who "they" are. Potential partners? People you meet online? General attitudes about sex and kink? It would be interesting to hear about a time you felt wrongly judged. I am asking because I really am interested in experiences.

By the way, one of the few people I have ever discussed chastity with is also the most bi guy I have ever known. He was kind of freaked out about it in a judgmental way. I think it is partly because he over compensates for his own self perceived weirdness. He was like "there are some things I don't need to think about" and I was like "I am sure you have tried plenty of things I will never do". Thing is, he didn't "link" it any of the other practices you cite but was totally weirded out by the idea of a cock cage. This is someone once went to a cross dresser party with, back in my old, old days.

And there are already so many misconceptions about what kinksters are and aren't in the world, and how we're portrayed as either sociopaths or absurd comic relief characters in the mainstream media - when we generalize within our own communities, especially if there is an intolerance included with it, I find it offensive.

It is extremely rare to find anything in the popular media that portrays sex well, or at least in realistic way, from the most vanilla to the most kinky erotic. I agree that most of it is totally silly or some some kind of erotic crime thriller. Take "Unfaithful" with Richard Gere in 2002. How realistic is it that he suddenly kills his wife's lover? People cheat everyday. I loved "Bound" but, again, a mob movie with killing. There was stuff in American Pie that was erotic, but again, totally silly. I don't see chastity as being unique in this respect. It is an unusual sexual practice (albeit becoming more well known) so it doesn't surprise me that the popular media doesn't portray it very well.

Some of the stuff you originally posted---CD, Maid, Cuckolding---get pretty bad coverage too. It seems like you are more worried about being wrongly grouped with this behavior as opposed to say, general BDSM, etc.

as I identify as an "alpha" personality type, I suspect I not only feel a need to verbalize my objection to it, but I also don't want people to make assumptions about me, and treat me or talk to me, in ways I don't want.

I mostly have an alpha personality type too, at least in my business life, which is part of the reason I like escapist sex. I suppose that can be its own stereotype.