Wife doesn't seem to like it :-(

[Subhubby1968]

Well,
I gave my wife the keys to the cb-3000 I had ordered earlier on and she just sort of took them and went about her day. Finally on Saturday night, when we went to the bedroom she pretty much handed me the keys and said take it off.

I asked her if she wanted to see it and she said no. I pushed a little but she was pretty well set that she didn't want to mess with it. So I guess for now I am without a keyholder.

Just a little background.

Me, I love to try almost anything new.

Her - She is very vanilla and not very dominant at all. She would actually rather be submissive herself. So I thought this might be a low key way for her to control me some without having to really do anything. Hopefully that makes sense. The other reason I tried this is that her sex drive is sort of low and she seems happy with sex once a month so this seemed to play right into that. I was thinking I would be locked up for about a month at a time until she was ready for some fun. I didn't even ask her to tease me or anything, I just wanted her to have one key and keep the spare in safe place that we both new about in case the main one got lost. I guess I was wrong.

I am hoping that with time she might decide to try taking the keys again.

Thanks for letting me vent a little!

[bratboy]

Good luck! Chastity was a bigger thing for my wife than me but I can tell you we tried several times before it finally clicked for us. It is now working but I will say this is I think our fifth try.

[Oldtimer]

My wife usually hates anything but plain vanilla sex, is normally submissive to me and my night table drawer is filled with sex toys she was not interested in using. However when I handed her the key she asked for the spare too. I was very surprised. She even asks me to put it on every morning. The difference is that I led up to it. First I got her interested in T&D. I made a big show of moaning and begging for release when she teased me. She got into it after a few times. I then told her how much I masturbated each week and she had no idea that men will do it every minute if they could. I also told her that was the reason why I sometimes could not perform when she wanted me too. In typical wife fashion she just told me to not do it. I asked her to read some articles about male masturbation which she did. I went on the honor system to show her how much better and attentive I was with less orgasms and after a few weeks told her that it was a real struggle at times and told her about the CB6K.

She told me to buy it if I wanted. It arrived and she did not ask to see it but just asked for the keys. She viewed it as a new addition to her teasing tricks. Now she could not only prevent my orgasms but also my erections. You can read about our first time in another post. So basically I eased her into it by positively responding to her teasing. If I would have sprung it on her earlier she would have just scolded me for wasting money. Baby steps. I do not think most women would respond positively if it was sprung on them suddenly. I got my wife's consent to buy mine. Hope this helps.

[Finn]

My wife was not real big on chastity until our living situation changed to include another woman. Now it's part of a trade-off to have 3 of us living together. She still doesn't like taking an active role in enforcing it, or checking up. She likes me locked up when at home, especially when with my girl/sub. She wants my cock to get nothing, except for occasionally being "emptied". That's pretty much it. I tend to lock it during sex (I wear a strap-on) but she's OK with it unlocked, as long as it doesn't get touched or used. My girl's drive is down, due to meds, so that (like the OP) was part of my motivation, since I was too horny when unlocked and wanting to be edged constantly. For her, it sometimes feels like a barrier though, but we're working through it. Sometimes it's no fun, simply being locked up in an uncomfortable thing, and there's no teasing, or extra sex or fantasy stuff. That's when you have to tough it out, and maybe see if you can find some positives for her, without too much pressure.

[velcrofist]

Sounds like you just pushed a little hard a little too soon. With the right approach and understanding most women will usually play along to some extent, especially once they understand how important it is to you and that it isn't going to go away. Some good stuff at http://www.malechastityblog.com/and maybe http://aroundherfinger.com/ if you're into the LFA concept.

Or maybe just try again with her in a little while once she's had time to process what just happened and what freaked her out about it etc.

[Subhubby1968]

Thanks everyone.

For now I am going to be my own keyholder and try and find some web resources for her to look into. In the mean time I saw where you have "blogging/diary" section so I might add updates over there.

Thanks again!

[Michele]

It might be that it came on too strong too fast for her. I know I loved it once I learned all I could (just wrote a post on my blog about that!). It took months of research but I fell in love with the idea and we jumped in!

[Oldtimer]

I will repeat that this is something you do not spring on your wife. Discuss it and ask her to try it to see if she likes it and if she does not, no harm done. My wife thought I was nuts because I am very pro orgasm but tried it and now she loves it and is having more orgasms than she had 10 years ago. It has revitalized her sex life as teasing me excites her a lot. If all else fails, tell your wife that it means she never has to give you oral sex again or have sex when she was not in the mood. Those were two things my wife picked up on very quickly.

There are some very good websites out there that are realistic and do not involve a D/s lifestyle. In fact, your wife can remain submissive and still engage in male chastity. There is no book of rules. I Googled, "Benefits of male chastity for wives" and find some great websites and forums. Many of which were not sex related but more relationship or female oriented. They described the benefits to the wive in a manner that did not involve whips, being submissive or making her manly husband submissive. If you can get her to just read some of these, you have taken the first step.

[Aarkey]

Well, I asked her if she wanted to see it and she said no. I pushed a little but she was pretty well set that she didn't want to mess with it.

I wish you all the best with it. And to echo some of the other replies, it is very often something that is much better if eased into - rather than pushed.

Patience and thoughtful communication, with VERY gentle encouragement can go miles. I wish you both the best with it.

[TwistedMister]

If all else fails, tell your wife that it means she never has to give you oral sex again...

Maybe his wife *likes* giving oral...mine certainly does.