What motivates keyholders?

[mellyshubby]

I have a question that I would like some input on. My wife and I have good communication about our chastity play. I often ask about her reasons for why she might decide to keep me locked, or why she decided to give me a release. Often, she will tell me that she thought it was what I wanted.

My hunch is that at some point she will begin basing her decisions more on what she wants. If that happens, I have a feeling 'be careful what you wish for' will take on more significance. So my question is - what motivates other key holders in their chastity decisions with their husbands, and does it change as you become more comfortable in your role?

[Michele]

I'll give you a quick answer though your question prompts me to write a blog post about this! So I will say that it has taken me awhile to actually lock our unlock for my own desire. At first there is a bit of fear of a bunch of things for me and lots of emotions but as we've gone on here I love to see him locked up and straining in his cage and, of course, the extra attention and general overall doing more helpful things for me = MY reason/motivation for leaving him locked and now I'm to the point of unlocking him purely for my desire to watch or feel him have an orgasm or just to feel his cock hard against me, in me and even just to see it. I do miss those things and when the "missing feeling" is so great that I need it, I'll unlock to feel those things and sometimes not even to let him cum.

I hope this all makes sense lol and helps (trying to teach my daughter and got interrupted a few times writing this hehe)

[Linus]

mellyshubby,
Acquisition, possession & absolute ownership / control are 3 stages.
Man's equipment is probably the most valuable property that a woman would like to acquire, possess & own.
By entering chastity lifestyle we willingly handover our valuable property to our KH.
So the KH is bound to enjoy 'total control' over such property.
In my case, with each passing week, I've started enjoying more n more of my wife's total control over myself.
I've actually experienced gradual increase in my submissiveness & her dominance.
Needless to say, we both enjoy this change!!
All I would say is "I'm grateful what I wished for".

[mellykh]

I should probably wait to respond til lock-down resumes
MellyKH

[Oldtimer]

I had read that even though we may not be aroused at the time, the presences of a partner who is very aroused will trigger our arousal. I do not do long term chastity but rather engage in T&D with sex on the weekends. I can speak for my wife only. My wife can start off not interested in having an orgasm but after teasing me and seeing my arousal, changes her mind. I have learned the triggers to my wife's orgasm. They are basically hearing me moan, in pleasure or pain, and playing with my erection. Works every time.

I can imagine that having a man who is highly aroused all the time would be a turn on to some woman. However, there are probably a lot of reasons for it dealing with control, dominance, etc..

[locked4her55]

A good back or foot rub.

[chastehub]

MyBride is very vanilla so initially she was a very reluctant keyholder, but i think what motivates her is the increased attention and intimacy. Not that we didn't have a loving relationship to begin with (many a wise person has written that chastity does not repair relationships), but there is no denying that when i'm locked up a switch is thrown. i think of her constantly, and that makes me more attentive to her and her needs.

We now snuggle and talk more in bed. In the past that would usually lead to me initiating sex, which was OK when she was in the mood, but made her feel guilty when she turned me down because she wasn't in the mood. Now she decides. We have had wonderful conversations that last for hours, and we've have gotten to know each other at a deeper and more loving level than at any point in our 20 year marriage.

i'm also more helpful around the house, and back rubs and foot rubs are available on demand without complaint; she loves that. So while she still struggles with fact enforced chastity is kinky, she appreciates the benefits and has started to enjoy the power of being a keyholder.

[ChastizedRob]

My wife only gives me one O per month "because I'm better behaved" at just one O per month. And I have to say that one O does very little to relieve me before I'm constantly excited for my wife again.