I don't really understand, but...

[bobby_rogers]

(My wife had to be gone from last night, so I guess I just have the urge to communicate after a lonely night in our empty bed).

I love my wife and I am a really lucky man. My wife has been totally cool about our experimenting with enforced chastity. I don't even fully understand why I want this. I love to cum. I have loved it ever since the first time I made myself cum by accident when I was 12. I have been doing it a lot for the past 30 years. But, here is the key part I don't really understand myself: I love being under my wife's control more than I love cumming.

We are still newbies to this. I am at the 7 day mark right now. The past two times she made me go 12 days and 9 days before cumming. So far it seems that if I really want to cum she lets me do so. We have never gone long enough that I have felt truly desparate and actually begged. I don't think she will be able to say "NO" in that situation. And, as I said before, the key part for me is that I like being under her control more than I actually like cumming. Do you guys feel that way too?

[locked4her55]

Very much the same feelings.

It sounds like you are lucky to have a wife who is willing to be your keyholder.

[sherulestherooster]

But, here is the key part I don't really understand myself: I love being under my wife's control more than I love cumming.

I feel the exact same way, I would just add that for me to be completely satisfied, I *need* her to climax and for her to tease me, physically and verbally. I enjoy her climaxes more than I enjoy my own. I get fantastic orgasms, especially when she has teased and denied me, but I really enjoy the "high" of being under her control and frustrated.

It is a feeling very similar to when we were dating, when I put on my best face for her, I found ways to make her happy. She really likes this "courtship behavior". Going out of my way to buy her a Starbucks (which she prefers to flowers) seems instinctual, like I don't have a choice. Based upon what I've read, it's a consequence of my brain's dopamine burst when we play sexually, followed by a rush of oxytocin that makes me feel emotionally bonded to her. When I come, that all crashes. Sorry for the nerdy explanation, it's just that this sort of thing fascinates me.

When we played Friday night, she asked if I wanted to come or not. I did, but I also wanted her to deny me. She chose to deny me, and then went on her period, so I missed out on another week. She has done a great job teasing me since then, which keeps my interest in our play up. Orgasm denial can be frustrating, but also rewarding. Darn this paradox!

[bobby_rogers]

Sherules,
I feel exactly as you described. I find myself cooking for her, doing the dishes, asking her what she wants or needs. I feel like I have fallen in love with her all over again. I can not even begin to tell her how much I appreciate that she has been willing to accept this ODD idea. That makes me love her even more!
Thanks for sharing.
Bobby

[Finn]

Similar here, but different situation a bit. My wife and I have used some Tantric/Karreza ideas in our sex lives for about 15 years. In some forms of Tantric, the guy avoids ejaculation, and instead, "shares" the woman's orgasm. This actually worked for us after a period of really working on it, and really ramped up my denial fetish. This then led us to chastity play for the past decade or so, off and on. Now, we have a house-mate (separate apartment though) who is my long-time kink partner. Trying to find a balance of intimacy between the married sex life, and the kink stuff, has led us back to chastity again. I gave up fairly frequent edging and ruined orgasms in exchange for full-time chastity in the home, and one orgasm a month tops. My wife enjoys having me wear a strap-on, and I enjoy it too. In fact, after 3 weeks locked, I was so focused on her orgasm, that I nearly came in my cb. This I find very interesting, and is part of why I love trying new experiences like this. Kink-wise, I'm more focused on the actual kink, and not turning it into foreplay so I can get my dick edged. Our daily life is pretty normal, theres no hot 3 ways or any thing of that sort. 3 friends, crashed out in the living-room, watching walking dead after dinner, and I'm in chastity, I feel like the luckiest guy

[Cucklocked]

Finn that sounds great - was just talking to my key holder about maybe setting something a bit like that up in the future.
And Bobby I'm with you all the way there. You are lucky to have her and brave to explore.
The last time I was out it was for a month or more and I found that I could still enjoying coming as often as I could but I really longed to be locked up again. Denial works and there's nothing to lose, enjoy.

[RegularJoe]

I don't think any of us really understand why we are the way we are. If we were wondering why we enjoy the more easily discussed and mundane non-sexual personal likes and dislikes, we wouldn't even be laboring over the issue.

Therapists have theories, but even those are simply speculative. Fortunately, the mental health community seems to be coming to the conclusion that it's no big deal if it's not disturbing you or your partner. They've pretty much given up on attempting to eradicate fetishes that involve adult consensual sexual activity.

All I know, is that I enjoy it, and my wife has increasingly grown to savor its advantages for meeting her own desires. I like pistachio icecream too, though I haven't a clue why.

[ChastityCrossdresser]

Bobby - I think you have summarized how I feel too. My wife and I have experimented off an on for the past few months, but I was locked on Sunday for what is hopefully going to be a week. I want to orgasm so bad after only being locked up a few days, but I know that it's much more important for me to be under her control and to make sure I please her.

[TwistedMister]

I like pistachio icecream too, though I haven't a clue why.

And I *don't* like pistachio ice-cream, but I *do* like pistachios...and that's OK too.

[jackjack]

I love cumming, but I love when she doesn't let me. That's the appeal. If I didn't care about cumming then none of this would make sense, right?

I'm a newbie, too - we both are. It just seems like our main motivation. I like her being in control, she likes being in control, so it' a great thing for both of us.