Relocked

[steph17]

I am not enjoying being locked in device at the moment, I have been locked since Thursday morning when my key holder told me to put the device back on, I had been out for 11 days and was enjoying my freedom.
I do think we should talk together about when we are going to start a chaste period again instead of it just being imposed.

[Scarlett's]

Whatever floats your boat. I am relatively new to chastity but am getting a real thrill out of not knowing what my KH is going to do next. Last release and orgasm, after 28 days, she told me several days in advance of the coming and I felt let down. I wasn't as desperate as I would have liked to have been once the big moment came. I asked her to just say maybe next time. She clearly is planning on sexual activity tonight, and has told me she is thinking about taking the device off but I do not know if I get to come, doubt it only 7 days, and I am as randy as is humanly possible to be now.

Have you talked to her about what you would like? She may really like to know.

[freespirit]

Not ten minutes ago, I was locked into my chastity device. We are going over to a couple's house tonight to play cards. She wants me to know I wear it when she tells me to, and for how long. I do not argue or get upset, she is the keyholder. Didn't you agree to let her be the key holder, to decide when to wear it, for how long, when and if to take it off, and when and how you receive your next climax. Do you know how many men out there wish that they could find a keyholder? We are all fortunate and should be greatful to our keyholders. Just ask her and talk about your concerns. I know if I complained, I would be put over her knee for a long bare ass spanking, which I would deserve. Thanks.

[Tom Allen]

Do you know how many men out there wish that they could find a keyholder? We are all fortunate and should be greatful to our keyholders.

And when you didn't finish your spinach, did your mother say "Think of all the starving children in China/Biafra/wherever?" Didi it make you more inclined to eat the spinach, or did you smoosh it around the plate more?

See why this attitude isn't particularly helpful?

In the long view, I do enjoy it when my wife "makes" me wear it, but in the short view, sometimes I dont' want to. The point is that you need to talk about it - what you like, what you don't like, and why.

[freespirit]

To Tom Allen

I agree with what you said about talking about it to your wife. It seems my wife and I have a different arrangement from the start. When I asked her to be the keyholder, that put her in complete control. I agree to whatever she wants when it comes to male chastity, teasing, denial or if and when I come. Sorry but from all the forums I have read most men want the keyholder in control. So I don't see why my attitude is not particularly helpful, it works for us. Thanks for the reply, just trying to get other ideas and thoughts and I do thank you for yours.

[Tom Allen]

It seems my wife and I have a different arrangement from the start. When I asked her to be the keyholder, that put her in complete control. I agree to whatever she wants when it comes to male chastity, teasing, denial or if and when I come.

See, we have a similar agreement. We dont' have a schedule, or roll dice or use any other way to determine how long I'll be in - it's totally up to her. That's what we *both* decided would turn us on.

Sorry but from all the forums I have read most men want the keyholder in control. So I don't see why my attitude is not particularly helpful, it works for us.

The unhelpful part is to tell somebody "Stop whining! At least you have a keyholder; so many other men are either single, or their partners aren't interested."

I've seen this so often on other web groups, that whenever anybody asks a question about being locked up, I immediately tell them to watch out for the people who will tell them to stop whining. I mean, seriously - what works for you and me obviously doesn't work for everyone, so to tell them that they should be grateful when, in fact, they have a communication problem isn't very helpful, and will probably make them even *more* frustrated.

Let's try to offer up advice and support without being judgmental or moralizing about it.

[steph17]

I dont think you all understood what my point was. What I was getting at was initiation, deciding when to start a period of lockup and being or not being in the mood or frame of mind for it.
Once in the device it is my KH that decides when and what happens, But last Thursday it was just not my thing even though I did not complain at the time
I also dont think me and my KH have a communication problem she just dose not feel the need to ask me if I feel like playing so I usually just get on with it even if not in the mood.

[Kiki]

It's different for everyone. If having it be imposed without talking about it doesn't work for you, then it doesn't work for you and you need to talk about talking about it.

There is no One True Way to do this, and it's not even always the same for any given couple. What was that Celtic Queen quote? You have to figure out what works for you.

[Atone]

What was that Celtic Queen quote? You have to figure out what works for you.

Here you go.

-A

[Kiki]

Thanks, Atone!