I'm jealous

[danj]

I've come to the conclusion that Im jealous of the men who have a more demanding woman that is firm in her control and less permissive in granting orgasms. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife and wouldn't trade her for the world.

I'm thinking maybe it's time for a heart to heart, asking if we could move to the next level with her keeping me chaste. Maybe I'm nuts, but I want...no I think I need 2 weeks, maybe 3, not a few days to a week. I know I'm not the only one that struggles with too little time between orgasms.

[Atone]

Has she ever had you go longer than a couple of weeks?

I wouldn't say my wife is demanding but she is extremely firm in her control. She has even realized that I can have a bit of a slump just after having some "teasing" time so even that is limited. Like many of the wives here she would rather not have to use a device but she also knows that it is necessary.

[danj]

Max has been 21 days/3 weeks, only one time. And another time we made it to 20 days. I think, perhaps, my wife doesn't really care if I'm fully attentive. That post-orgasm slump doesn't bother her much at all. Guess I'm a pretty good husband all the time...orgasms or not So, if that's the case, why worry about keeping me chaste and on edge for her benefit?!

[TwistedMister]

LOL, and I'm jealous every time you post and I'm forced to look at your avatar pic. I haven't been let out at all for a month, and last O was a week or two before that.

Seriously though, you might try suggesting that you're curious to know what it might be like if she made you go longer, maybe a month or two...

[locked4her55]

My wife doesn't always set a "get out of jail" date. When she does, it's sometimes prompted by me.

I was out during a Labor Day weekend get-a-way. Had a couple of wonderful O's. On Tuesday she went back to work and I went back in my WM. Just before she left for work we discussed an event that happens in the middle of October. I mentioned something like "bet you will want some PIV sex before then" she replied "wanna make a bet" to which I agreed she couldn't make it till then. She said "keep up that attitude and I'll add another 30 days" So right now I'm put away till October 16th

I don't push the envelope too often but a couple times a year we engage in playful banter about my lock-up periods.

As much sometimes I would like to be denied for longer periods I remind myself that she is the one in control. It's what I wanted and my mission is to please her.

[danj]

Thanks for the input, it is appreciated.

We had a little talk before work this morning. Nothing too deep, but I told her I would like to try 2 weeks+ without an orgasm (maybe a couple of times) if she was open to it. She told me it was her decision, but that she would consider it. I reminded her how I pamper her even better when I'm kept chaste longer, which she agreed she has noticed. So it's in her hands, as it's supposed to be, right?!

I think I made it pretty obvious that I'm craving longer periods of denial, so if she didn't realize it, she does now. I'm not necessarily looking for months, but I wouldn't mind getting into regular 3-4 week cycles at some point. I've often thought that once a month is probably the ideal chastity cycle. She could let me out whenever she wants, but it seems just one orgasm a month would be a nice goal. Allows the plumbing to get some exercise, yet would keep me charged up almost constantly.

Twisted...I know! I still love my avatar...doubt I'll EVER change it!!

[Tom Allen]

We had a little talk before work this morning. Nothing too deep, but I told her I would like to try 2 weeks+ without an orgasm (maybe a couple of times) if she was open to it. She told me it was her decision, but that she would consider it. I reminded her how I pamper her even better when I'm kept chaste longer, which she agreed she has noticed. So it's in her hands, as it's supposed to be, right?!

You have to be direct sometimes in expressing what you would like, and that's why it's a problem when we try to sell our kink with the promise of "being a better partner, it's all about you" etc. Because, really, if it *were* all about her, you'd be a better husband without the denial. Yes, being horned up helps, but what's really got you going is that she's actively participating in a kink - your kink - and that makes you feel emotionally closer.

So at some point after she's gotten more comfortable, you will have to be direct. Thank her for participating as much as she has, and tell her that to satisfy your own curiosity, that you would really like to be pushed beyond your comfort zone. Yes, it would be nice if she just one day decided to do it on her own, but if it's not going to happen, then the direct approach would be the most honest thing.

[Belle]

We had a little talk before work this morning. Nothing too deep, but I told her I would like to try 2 weeks+ without an orgasm (maybe a couple of times) if she was open to it. She told me it was her decision, but that she would consider it. I reminded her how I pamper her even better when I'm kept chaste longer, which she agreed she has noticed. So it's in her hands, as it's supposed to be, right?!

You have to be direct sometimes in expressing what you would like, and that's why it's a problem when we try to sell our kink with the promise of "being a better partner, it's all about you" etc. Because, really, if it *were* all about her, you'd be a better husband without the denial. Yes, being horned up helps, but what's really got you going is that she's actively participating in a kink - your kink - and that makes you feel emotionally closer.

So at some point after she's gotten more comfortable, you will have to be direct. Thank her for participating as much as she has, and tell her that to satisfy your own curiosity, that you would really like to be pushed beyond your comfort zone. Yes, it would be nice if she just one day decided to do it on her own, but if it's not going to happen, then the direct approach would be the most honest thing.

I can't agree with Tom's advice more. Being direct is very important. Regardless of what we may claim, women can not read minds. Honest, open communication is vital.

[Tom Allen]

I can't agree with Tom's advice more.

Could you email this endorsement to my wife? For some reason, she never agrees with me at home.

No man is a prophet in his own land, and all that.

[Aarkey]

I think, perhaps, my wife doesn't really care if I'm fully attentive. That post-orgasm slump doesn't bother her much at all. Guess I'm a pretty good husband all the time...orgasms or not So, if that's the case, why worry about keeping me chaste and on edge for her benefit?!

Tom already addressed a lot of this below, but I have to re-iterate some of what he's saying - and I've been reminded of it from some hard won personal experience, as I got divorced last June. Good, honest, open, thoughtful communication. It means a lot.

And its good to be a good husband all the time, treating a marriage like an "I'll do you a favor if you do me a favor" isn't a very effective system.

I wish you all the best with it, and as we've heard it here a thousand times... be careful what you wish for.