Arousal and dealing with it and other things

[jundle]

So I have had a desire to play with chastity devices for a long long time now. I played with an old style "curve" a long time ago and I just recently got a new “curve” and have been wearing it pretty constantly (I take it off at night to sleep) for the last week and a half.

My fiancée knows about my chastity fetish and that I am wearing the device and she seems interested in playing around with chastity-style play. I haven't included her yet in key holding and such (this past week and a half), as I have been working the kinks out in wearing the device (sizing, moving around with it, etc...) as well as other things. I have been keeping her informed of me wearing it and how it fits (and she sees me take it off at night), etc... And again, she's interested in participating, she has stated so. Next Monday (2 days from now) I will be having a conversation with her about what kind of involvement she is interested in, as well as showing her online resources for her to do her own research to help her form her own conclusions about what tickles her fancy.

Also, we talked previously this week (Monday-ish) and I told her I had a goal of me not orgasming until the 11th (9 more days from now [there's a reason for this date, but it's a long explanation]). The last time I orgasmed was some time mid last week.

She is currently gone until Monday and I have the house to myself this Friday night, Saturday and Saturday night, and Sunday morning.

Here is my..... problem [“problem” may not be the best word]. I've gone a week or so without orgasm in the past, but I masturbated daily. My whole thing wasn't about reaching orgasm, it was about staying aroused via touching my penis. Now that I'm not touching it, and haven't for over a week (except to wash it in the morning and adjust it at night after I've taken my device off for sleeping) I'm starting to really hyper focus on sex and arousal in association with my fiancée. I haven't performed oral sex on her in over a year (maybe more), and last week (at night) while I was wearing the “curve”, I got so aroused that I went into the bedroom where she was laying down and started immediately kissing her thighs and sniffing her and then proceeded to perform oral sex (I felt like a man possessed). Wearing the chastity device and giving oral pleasure drove me insane and I loved it! My fiancée loved it too, and that made it so hot for me. Just thinking about it right now is making me crazy.

With that said, I don't think she realizes how turned on I am at the moment (and have been for the last day or so). I want to text her and tell her I'm hard for her and that I'd give anything to eat her out. I want to call her and tell her dirty things. I even want to touch and play with her underwear.

I don't want to *actually* tell her or text her though, as I'm afraid I'm going to scare her. And I don't want to touch her underwear cause I feel like that's an invasion of privacy.

I just feel a little lost and out of control with arousal.

Does anyone have any advice and/or comments?

[poor]

I think you may be a bit out of perspective on this. If she is happy to accept that you are wearing a CD and to include it in her sex life then the prospect of you wanting to handle her (dirty) panties probably won't throw her.

Either way; communicate. Let her know & decide. If you're too full on she can tell you that too.

As to the excitement of arousal - enjoy! As a slightly jaded old hand at this I can vouch for the 'discovery' years being the most intense.

[locked4her55]

I haven't performed oral sex on her in over a year (maybe more)

Really

I can't keep my hands (and tongue) off my wife. She loves the attention and orgasms she is now experiencing since I've been locked up. It's why this whole thing works for us. I get to wear my CD and be aroused and denied 24/7. She gets attention (not all of it being sexual) and lots and lots of oral sex. As I have stated before on this Forum, she says "I'm more focused when I'm locked up".

I do believe your journey and her's has just begun BCWYWF

[KeyheldHubby]

I'm starting to really hyper focus on sex and arousal in association with my fiancée.

Just thinking about it right now is making me crazy.

Welcome to the mysterious and wonderful world of chastity! Certainly not an expert, but I can confirm from my own experience that being in chastity for more than a day or two does really interesting things to my psyche. The physiological effects are relatively minor - periods of arousal in my cage that seem to come in waves over the course of the day, and seem to become more intense the longer I'm locked up. The physical effects seem to peak after about a week or so, after which they seem to plateau. The longest I've been locked up has been about two weeks, and it'll be interesting to see what happens when I'm locked up for an even longer period - which seems likely in the near future as Mrs. KHH has gotten more comfortable with the notion.

The mental and emotional effects are even more pronounced, though. I find myself (like you) becoming hyper-focused on everything associated with Mrs. KHH. It's a really weird feeling, but an altogether pleasant one. I'm sitting here right now writing this while Mama is 1,400 miles away visiting her mom, and I can't get her out of my mind. I keep trying to distract myself, but as soon as I stop doing things that demand my full attention, my mind immediately snaps back to her. Again - a very pleasant notion.

I really like locked4her55's comment:

I can't keep my hands (and tongue) off my wife.

How very true! When Mama is here and I'm locked up, I can't seem to keep my hands off her. She'll be doing something in the kitchen and I'll walk up behind her, reach around her body with both hands and just cup her breasts with my hands while I nuzzle her neck. Makes me feel really good when I do that, and she seems to like it as well. The simplest touch - fingers caressing her cheek while she's sitting at the table reading, brushing her shoulder as we pass each other in the living room or in a hallway. So electrifying.

And like locked4her55 says - I can't keep my tongue off her either. Seems like every single night I either ask her if I can lick her pussy or - while she's reading - just pull her panties down seductively and slowly work my way down her body with my kisses and caresses until I reach Nirvana. Then it's at least a half hour of bliss for me! And Mama could be reading or watching TV at the time, completely relaxed at first, but slowly building in her arousal as well. It's a neat feeling to be in chastity when I do that. And I think she enjoys it even more because she has full control over how far it'll go. Seems to make it easier for her to just relax and enjoy the sensations.

Finally, to poor's point:

Either way; communicate. Let her know & decide. If you're too full on she can tell you that too.

I can't agree more... Especially if you're relatively new to this as I am. Openness, honesty, sharing what you're feeling and gently asking what she's feeling are so very, very important. It's so easy to become defensive when you communicate with someone else about something that it so important to you - especially if that someone is close to you. You want to "convince" them to think your way. And you get frustrated if you can't immediately do so. Empathy is so important here... You're both exploring something wonderful and new. You both have different perspectives about what it means and what you might be comfortable with. I've had my jailbird for about six months, and I am still learning about what it means to both me and to Mrs. KHH. I don't think we'll ever get it completely figured out, but that's part of the fun for us. Seems like every day she does something or says something related to my being in chastity that I would have never thought she would do or say. When I first got locked up, she told me that she would never keep me locked up for more than two or three days! Of course, that has completely changed as she's become more comfortable with the notion, and based on my feedback to her that the cage was not at all uncomfortable.

I wish you all the best and hope you'll continue sharing with us!

[RegularJoe]

I haven't performed oral sex on her in over a year (maybe more)

Really

I can't keep my hands (and tongue) off my wife. She loves the attention and orgasms she is now experiencing since I've been locked up. It's why this whole thing works for us. I get to wear my CD and be aroused and denied 24/7. She gets attention (not all of it being sexual) and lots and lots of oral sex. As I have stated before on this Forum, she says "I'm more focused when I'm locked up".

I do believe your journey and her's has just begun BCWYWF

I too adore giving my wife oral pleasure...it's always been extremely important to me, but the need to provide it is unending when I'm locked up...it just gets more intense with each passing day she denies me relief.

I'm now in my second month without orgasm. Haven't been out of the cage the entire time, and I've lost track of the many orgasms she's enjoyed, but tonguing her is all I've got, and what keeps me going. That, and the knowledge that my orgasm, when it's finally granted, will be spectacular....and the cycle will begin anew.

[KeyheldHubby]

Second Regularjoe's comment:

I too adore giving my wife oral pleasure...it's always been extremely important to me, but the need to provide it is unending when I'm locked up...it just gets more intense with each passing day she denies me relief.

I can't get enough of it! Pleasuring my wife orally is a dream come true for me, and she seems to "like" it too!

Wearing a chastity cage while I go down on her for a LONG, LONG time seems to make it even more intense for me. Knowing that no matter what happens, SHE is the one who will get as much pleasure as she can stand, and SHE controls whether or not I will receive any physical release afterward seems to get her even more aroused, which turns me on even more - a really beautiful upward spiral in our mutual arousal.

You say:

I haven't performed oral sex on her in over a year (maybe more), and last week (at night) while I was wearing the “curve”, I got so aroused that I went into the bedroom where she was laying down and started immediately kissing her thighs and sniffing her and then proceeded to perform oral sex (I felt like a man possessed). Wearing the chastity device and giving oral pleasure drove me insane and I loved it! My fiancée loved it too, and that made it so hot for me. Just thinking about it right now is making me crazy.

First question: If you haven't gone down on her for over a year, I would ask "Why not?" For me, going down on Mrs. KHH is a pleasure, not a duty. The feel of her pussy on my tongue, the scent, the texture as she gets aroused... All incredible turn-on's.
Second question: You say that your fiancee "loved it." Is she comfortable asking you to go down on her? If not, why not? You should gently tell her that she can have you go down on her whenever she wants. Given the last part of your comment: "Wearing the chastity device and giving oral pleasure drove me insane and I loved it!," it seems to me that there wouldn't be too much resistance on your part either! This seems to be a great case of something that you both love that you're not doing too much of. Could be for many reasons: shyness, fear of rejection, fear that your partner could perceive you the "wrong way," etc. If you love doing it, and if (as you say) she loves receiving it, then tell her! It took a long time for me to work up the nerve to tell Mrs. KHH that I really wanted to go down on her, and even to this day I kick myself that it took so long. I wish I had done it earlier - it would have made BOTH of us a lot happier!