Interesting weekend

[Mist]

Hey everyone
I have had an interesting weekend and was hoping you guys could shed some light on it.

As you know we are on the honor system and it has been a little over 70 days since Velths last cum. On Saturday I told him that it was his weekend he could cum as much as he liked, whenever he liked, how ever he liked. I had been looking forward to this weekend a great deal. It was early morning, I was still in bed and he had been up for a few min, his response to me was, Well don’t take it the wrong way hunny but id rather go have a coffee, to say the least I was very disappointed. Saturday night it just didn’t happen either.

Finally, Sunday morning it did. I also offered Sunday night and was turned down.
The only thing I can think of, and I have thought about it a lot is…over the last few weeks we have been experimenting with ruined orgasms. Although he never cum, he did leak a lot and went soft right after no matter what I did. He also hasn’t been as attentive as he was in the first month or so.

Mist

[Atone]

Sorry you were disappointed. Have you talked to Velth about it? You might want to search for Dev's old post or blog entry on their first release. In their case the expectations were set too high and put too much pressure on the situation (if I remember correct). I think jnuts and belle had a similar situation although I am less sure on that one.

It may be that Velth got exactly what he wanted and just didn't realize that you were looking for something special too.

-A

[Dev]

Yes, we did have a letdown on the big weekend back in October. Here's the post:

http://devotedlvr.com/2010/10/18/the-weekend/

And you're right, Jnuts and Belle had a disappointing time, too. Too high expectations and he was sick. Speaking of J&B, I haven't seen them posting for awhile. I hope they're okay.

D

[kpb57]

I have the feeling that it happens rather often that people forget that you do not start marathons by running in the NY Marathon.

Instead you go for a mile round the park. Once that goes well, add another mile. And so on, until you can go the whole distance. Or you realize that marathons are not for you, but 5 miles are real fun.

If we ever do some real orgasm denial, it will surely not be by starting with a one-month lockdown.

K

[Kiki]

Yeah, we did four days to start with and it seemed really long to me. I got a bit worried! (Then again, Lukus was really amped up and we did a lot of T&D which lead to massive blue balls. Hearing him groaning about that certainly added to my concern.) I can also say from experience that work and other stresses really do make a difference (of course) because our next cycle was really subdued by comparison. You really do have to feel your way along, and not expect too much. I try to remember that I'm not having to wear the sometimes uncomfortable device, while he is, and not forget that it is really all about both of us.

Here's my post on the subject:

http://dickinabox.blog.com/2011/01/28/17/

It was really scary there for a moment, when I thought he might not be into it any more!

[Belle]

Yes, we did have a letdown on the big weekend back in October. Here's the post:

http://devotedlvr.com/2010/10/18/the-weekend/

And you're right, Jnuts and Belle had a disappointing time, too. Too high expectations and he was sick. Speaking of J&B, I haven't seen them posting for awhile. I hope they're okay.

D

We are fine. Extremely busy, but fine. It is crazy when you don't even have time to check an iPhone. He is currently unlocked, more due to busyness than a lack of desire. I don't have the time to put into the T&D, and I don't want him disappointed.

On that note, yes we had a very disappointing release in December. The build up was just way to much for us. Expectations led us to do what we were not really up to (flu was going through our house) and we paid for it. Best advice we got was to talk it out, identify it for what is was, and move on. What we found worked best for us is not to have a set release date. That way the pressure is off.

[Mist]

Thanks for the replies

Yes we have talked about it a lot. There have never been hard feelings or resentment. Disappointment yes, but nothing lasting. We have a very strong loving relationship with a lot of communication, more so now I think since we started MC.

How can you not when he has opened up with his deepest desires to you something he probably thought you would never understand.

Mist.

[mikecb]

Mist,

I have two thoughts. First, 70 days is a LONG time. After a point, the law of diminishing returns kicks in. I know for me, and a lot of guys, after about 30 days, one day is about the same as another. In fact, I sometimes suffer a slump in desire. It's entirely possible that his libido was at a low point, because he's been struggling (and succeeding) to keep his mind otherwise occupied, since he's on the honor system. I don't know if you've gone this long before. It >might< be possible that such long periods of denial reduce the desirable effects of chastity play for you two. That's worth considering.

The other thought I had, which you may not want to hear, is whether the Honor System is really working, or whether he might be slipping off on the side to masturbate and relieve the tension. Since it sounds like chastity play is something he initiated,I would hope that this is not the case, however for many men, the device has a real, tangible benefit. Even if it's escapable, for some of us, the device is a real help to keep the mind set.

Let's hope it was just an ill-timed ebb in his libido, but it's definitely worth airing out in a non-confrontational way to make sure he's getting what he wants from the chastity play, at the same time he's making you feel good and sexy about being so GGG and indulging his fantasy. I know it's got to be hard to figure out this weird kink of ours!

Best of luck!
mikecb

[kpb57]

IIRC, there is a poster here who remarked that after a period of a month or so he completely lost his drive and was not interested in sex at all.

Maybe someone can find the thread/poster, I could not.

K

[Atone]

IIRC, there is a poster here who remarked that after a period of a month or so he completely lost his drive and was not interested in sex at all.

I think that was someone that wasn't getting any attention at all though, not even any acknowledgement from his wife that he was locked. It was just a lock it and forget it kind of deal (IIRC).

I haven't had that problem.

-A