How important is PIV sex (to you)?

[michaelnmelissa]

it hasn't caused any conflict with us so far. I can think of several reasons why not:

1. We're having just as much intercourse as before, only now it's even hotter because of MC.

2. My wife likes other forms of penetration (fingers, fist, dildo) too.

3. When we do have me inside her it's special - a treat - and so we make it last as long as possible. Also, we're really into it because it is so special.

4. The other benefits that go along with MC (attentiveness, devotion, her deciding yes/no or what to do/not do) more than make up (in both our minds) for any lack of PIV.

Michael

[kpb57]

I would say that if someone really wants to have his orgasms denied, and his partner/wife wants penetrative sex, he should learn to keep from coming while penetrating.
Now, if she also craves the feeling of him coming inside her, a compromise is in order.

I mean, isn't marriage or any long (to maybe lifetime) relationship a never ending string of compromises?

And don't always the problems arise when one or both forget that?

[danj]

We both enjoy PIV sex. My wife does not orgasm from it, but we both enjoy the intimacy of it. While practicing MC, I have found I penetrate her less. She orgasms from oral sex, and that is something we also very much enjoy. She has no interest in strap-ons, though we have ordered her a vibrator.

[celticqueens_sub]

Celtic Queen---I have read some of the same stuff, and there are people who have the goal of penetration without orgasm for this reason.

you need the semen to exchange the hormones so penetration without orgasm won't get you very far in that exchange, you might leak cowpers gland fluids, pre cum, but the data suggests that you need to release semen that remains in the woman for the hormone exchanges to occur. I will see if I can track down the web article and science bit..

[fuzzydunlop]

I think the science is sketchy on that point. Some people believe that skin contact and even nonsexual affection will release the Oxytocin. I tend to believe that orgasms cause good bonding too. But I also notice the strong need to replace this with other behaviors (eg massages) during MC.

[Jimi123]

I haven't lurked or posted for quite a while. Anyway a couple of thoughts. Re Dev's comment that intercourse wasn't really working (Orgasm wise) for her. I think its been reported that most women don't orgasm from intercourse (alone) and so a suggestion. Combine intercourse with a vibe like the Hitachi Magic wand. It makes intercourse "work" for both of you which may make that activity a lot less one sided. Humm... Did I say this already? This all has a familiar ring??? Oh well. For anyone (Chastity or not) I think this is good advise.

As to the couple who have the wife who enjoys intercourse over other activities and the conflict (???) with male chastity. This goes back to one of my original questions. Who says male chastity has to equal long term male denial?

And as to the first part. I gave all this a long hard think.

Why Chastity for others.

Men who masturbate rather then initiate sex. *Not my issue its been a bit more of mutual (low) lack of interest if anything.

A man who is screwing around and needs to be under control. *Nope...

CQ wrote a rather brilliant piece on sex drives and what a women invests into conventional intercourse. That being the possibility of pregnancy with all that goes with that. Wow.... I hate to say that this "baggage" over the act of PIV sex is indeed a lot to ponder versus what goes through the typical male mind. If intercourse is not mutually orgasmic and the best you can expect is a pair of wet panties and less sleep it does rather make Male Chastity add up. This is I think a good piece that talks about the quality of sex. ie Are you doing it in a way that "works" for her or are we using our female partner as a "masturbation" device?

So.... Lots of head scratching and a couple of my own issues.

Wearing a device. So far as I could find was just a pain. Could I get used to wearing one and sitting down to pee? Sure. At some point sanding the device I had (0r more likely) buying a different device or just toughing it out would work. But it wasn't liberating. I wasn't "into" being locked up.

I enjoy sex. Teasing and denial have (no doubt) a place and I admit that folks who tell me "You don't understand it because you've not done it"

I've tried to turn that all around 180 degrees. What would it look like if we had my wife in chastity and would it add up? To me - not at all. If sex is the issue why not simply work on that? In our case it probably needed a retune. More time spent on it. Adding more oral sex etc.

[Dev]

I wasn't "into" being locked up.

I think that's good and honest and probably 99% of the reason that chastity isn't working for you. If it's not turning you on, making you hot, making you horny, then why do it? If it was turning your wife on you could say, "I'm doing it for her," but that doesn't seem to be the case, either. So maybe it's just not your kink. And that's okay, we all need to find what works and what doesn't.

I look at or read about lots and lots of different kinks and just shake my head and think, "Why?" If it works for someone else, great, but they certainly aren't for me.

D

[Jimi123]

There was some amount of it being "hot" for a while (It being about sex) but it just didn't add up for us. I guess there is just too much conventional thinking for us and to be honest the real fear that lock up really would end up being a long term thing simply out of lower interest levels. If that makes even the slightest bit of sense.

re: I'm doing it for her. THAT was really the point at least enough for me to try the Curve etc. I have to say that the issues about what makes a man an "ideal" husband were thought provoking and may well have changed what we were doing for the better so... If nothing else a plus.

What is an exciting kink for one is (I agree) not everyones cup of tea.

[Locked by LRC]

I have been in chastity since May 2010. In this time I have had PIV three times and only one to orgasm. It is all I ask for when LRC asks how I want to orgasm. She just says too bad. She told me after all the years of "having" to have PIV she is enjoying the break. Orgasms were never her problem. Before chastity she had orgasms where I would have to stop because she would stop breathing. I think she knows it but, the lack of PIV is a way to tease itself.

[Celtic Queen]

CQ wrote a rather brilliant piece on sex drives and what a women invests into conventional intercourse. That being the possibility of pregnancy with all that goes with that.

Aw Shucks, thanks Jimi <blushes>