Thinking of starting a blog!

[wishful4]

I have been considering starting my own blog on our D/s relationship, and male chastity. Although my spouse is a good Keyholder and her dominance is slowly growing month by month, we still don't really talk person to person about the dynamics of it in our relationship. Whereas D/s and MC are front and center in my mind much of the time, I suspect she hardly ever thinks about it. Us guys tend to over think these things, I know, but I would like to have someplace to explore my feelings and experiences more in depth than my spouse and I would ever do and get some feedback from others. The only fly in the soup is that I don't think my spouse would approve of this venture if I asked her permission, yet I think this is something I really need at this point. I guess I am asking for everyone's opinion whether I should proceed on my own in secret or chance talking about it with my KH/Spouse. I have even thought about getting it started and then show it to her at some point in the future. Anyway, it's just an idea at this point, but I would appreciate opinions from my online friends at CF.

[MyWifeMyGoddess]

If you do it in secret, you are only cheating yourself.

Just my 0.02

[Tom Allen]

Whereas D/s and MC are front and center in my mind much of the time, I suspect she hardly ever thinks about it. Us guys tend to over think these things, I know, but I would like to have someplace to explore my feelings and experiences more in depth than my spouse and I would ever do and get some feedback from others.

I had to explain this to Mrs. Edge: when I'm locked up, my life has changed in material ways. Hers has not. Because mine has, I tend to think about it more, if not actually dwell on it at times. When she wonders why I'm talking about it, I have to remind her that I haven't had an orgasm in XX months, plus I have to think about the convenience, the cleaning, etc. Her life, OTOH, is relatively unchanged.

The only fly in the soup is that I don't think my spouse would approve of this venture if I asked her permission, yet I think this is something I really need at this point. I guess I am asking for everyone's opinion whether I should proceed on my own in secret or chance talking about it with my KH/Spouse. I have even thought about getting it started and then show it to her at some point in the future. Anyway, it's just an idea at this point, but I would appreciate opinions from my online friends at CF.

You could start a journal in the forums right here, and perhaps copy sections of it to email to her for discussion.

Interestingly, my wife *never* reads my blog. Well, maybe once a year she'll look at something if I ask her to, but she's just not interested in exploring anything online; at least, not with regard to sexuality. Once in a while she asks me if I'm still talking to anyone it particular, or if I'm doing anything new, but that's it. Go figure, huh?

[locked4her55]

My wife and I do talk about this dynamic. Not a lot now after almost 3 years, but she is my best friend and I do believe she would be hurt if I started a blog without her knowledge. She doesn't mind me sharing some general stuff about our life here on the CF (she does somewhat too on the Keyholders side). I'm not sure it would go over too well if I started a blog soliciting opinions from others "to explore my feelings and experiences more in depth" without exploring them with her first.

I like Tom's idea of doing something here and then sharing it with her. I know I feel pretty comfortable with the gang here vs the other MC sites.

[wishful4]

You could start a journal in the forums right here, and perhaps copy sections of it to email to her for discussion.

Good advice, Tom. I may not have enough material to keep a blog going anyway. I have been enjoying commenting on the blogs of others.

Interestingly, my wife *never* reads my blog. Well, maybe once a year she'll look at something if I ask her to, but she's just not interested in exploring anything online; at least, not with regard to sexuality. Once in a while she asks me if I'm still talking to anyone it particular, or if I'm doing anything new, but that's it. Go figure, huh?

Your spouse and mine must be sisters. Despite my best efforts, I haven't even been able to persuade her to join CF. But once in a while, she'll walk in while I am compiling a post or reply on CF and ask who I am writing to.

[Tom Allen]

But once in a while, she'll walk in while I am compiling a post or reply on CF and ask who I am writing to.

And what do you tell her?

[wishful4]

And what do you tell her?

I truthfully tell her what and why I am writing and show her the thread in the hope she will develop an interest. Anytime there's a question on the forum directed at Keyholders, I ask her opinion. I've emailed links to articles and threads on this forum that I thought might interest her. Although she reads them, I haven't been successful to the point where she's interested enough to go online and search for herself. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for what I have and she is coming along on the journey. Tom, I've linked her several of your articles that have been helpful. My fondest hope is, (other than winning the lottery), one day she will consent to join CF.

[wishful4]

I'm not sure it would go over too well if I started a blog soliciting opinions from others "to explore my feelings and experiences more in depth" without exploring them with her first.

locked4her55,

After going back and reading at my original post, I realized that "exploring my.........experiences..." was a very poor choice of words (not unusual for me). I am definitely sure she would not be comfortable with me sharing our intimate experiences. The feelings and (still looking for a word) I'm referring to are with regard to submission and male chastity. Like why, after extended chastity, I get aroused while folding laundry, doing chores, holding hands with her, lying in bed at night thinking about being locked for even longer periods, and when she directs me to do something. A lot of this wouldn't mean much to her, but a ton of the guys on this forum would understand exactly what I am feeling and I would like to read their comments on it. I still don't fully understand the changes this little device has on my thinking and feelings, but I would like to explore them further.

[keeperof55]

Just my two cents, but if the practice of chastity is to bring two people closer (the locked and the keyholder) and one person holds out and chooses to do the communicating with others via a blog, intentionally leaving out the "locked" or the "keyholder", then the intimacy that exists is superficial... a game changer / deal breaker for sure...

[Aarkey]

I really hope at some point that you can establish better communication with her. Open and honest communication is critical to any relationship, but IMO even more critical if there is any type of D/s dynamic that exists. And no matter how vanilla things might be beyond chastity, or how casually you enter into that - it does seem to affect things.

Not that my situation is at all similar to yours, but my wife and I are divorcing after 8 years together. It is only in the last 6 months have I learned how much open and honest communication did not exist. I really wish I had pushed harder for her to open up to me, and I had done more to be a very patient and open listener. Not to go into too many details, but the past relationships she had made her think that any arguments or disagreements, or even standing up for herself could lead to physical abuse - even though I never had or would have ever done anything like that.

Keep a personal journal if you feel the need to have an outlet for your thoughts, but if you think a blog would bother her, I definitely wouldn't do it.