Isn't It Ironic

[eido]

I was web surfing. I know, bad Eido...

Chastitytube.com, Lori Lancer's site, has all sorts of links to porn sites. I just thought that was a little odd.

Eido

[RegularJoe]

I was web surfing. I know, bad Eido...

Chastitytube.com, Lori Lancer's site, has all sorts of links to porn sites. I just thought that was a little odd.

Eido

Odd because of the on-site anti-masturbatory articles and the common assumption that chastity devices are mostly utilized as a means to prevent the nasty and pernicious habit of self-pleasure? Maybe its intent is 'character building'!

[eido]

Exactly, Regular Joe.

Many friends and relatives have told me I am too literal minded. A polite way of saying gullible, I guess. The point is, I have a hard time separating hype, fantasy, exaggeration, and bullshit, from sincerity or truth.

When I see a bombastic screed like "Controlling Male Masturbation" which contains such gems as: "For those of you that think this is cruel, humiliating, or embarrassing - it is. That’s the point." and "You have total control of your male. Use orgasm control to get what you want, to control his behavior, and especially to have fun." I tend to take the words at face value, and at face value these words are a long way from 'safe, sane, consensual' They are abusive, plain and simple.

Even Chastity Guru Sarah Jameson occasionally ventures into the 'control your male get what you want' riff.

'Plain and simple' is where my ability to understand these concepts goes off the wire. I don't have 50 shades of gray. I only have 2. If two folks are doing something together because they enjoy it, even if it hurts, is uncomfortable, humiliating or whatever, that's one shade. The other shade is this non- or pseudo- consensual crap that I know is mostly just that, crap. But sometimes someone's profession of intent seems so real and so earnest, and it bothers me. Bothers is not a strong enough word. It disturbs me. I know one solution is to turn off the browser or point it back at e-bay or whatever safe haven exists in the internet and stop looking for trouble. Maybe I should figure out how and why my own brain works the way it does before bitching about other people's?
Eido

[eido]

Upon further reflection and a good night's sleep, it occurs to me that it's all advertising. Marketing is the one thread these various folks have in common. Whether you're Lori Lancer, Sarah Jameson, or Elise Sutton, you are trying to sell something to someone.

No different than the beer commercials. Except that beer commercials don't push my buttons, which I suppose is the point of marketing.

So, move along. Nothing to see here!

Eido

[RegularJoe]

Upon further reflection and a good night's sleep, it occurs to me that it's all advertising. Marketing is the one thread these various folks have in common. Whether your Lori Lancer, Sarah Jameson, or Elise Sutton, you are trying to sell something to someone.

No different than the beer commercials. Except that beer commercials don't push my buttons, which I suppose is the point of marketing.

So, move along. Nothing to see here!

Eido

You got it....it's just contributing material for role playing, and no more (and no less) than two people trying to give each other some little bit of fulfillment in a lonely world.

[Sarah]

Even Chastity Guru Sarah Jameson occasionally ventures into the 'control your male get what you want' riff.

No, I don't think so. If you perceive that, then it's a misunderstanding. I'm pretty clear, I think, when I say using sex (or orgasms) as a currency is a bad idea in a relationship.

I do think it's reasonable for women to expect some quid pro quo for the extra work they have to put in to make their man's fantasy work for him, but that's a different thing.

I think giving or withdrawing sex in return for chores, gifts, or whatever is just a notch below giving and withdrawing affection on the easy-ways-to-wreck-a-relationship scale.

Sarah xxx

[RegularJoe]

Even Chastity Guru Sarah Jameson occasionally ventures into the 'control your male get what you want' riff.

No, I don't think so. If you perceive that, then it's a misunderstanding. I'm pretty clear, I think, when I say using sex (or orgasms) as a currency is a bad idea in a relationship.

I do think it's reasonable for women to expect some quid pro quo for the extra work they have to put in to make their man's fantasy work for him, but that's a different thing.

I think giving or withdrawing sex in return for chores, gifts, or whatever is just a notch below giving and withdrawing affection on the easy-ways-to-wreck-a-relationship scale.

Sarah xxx

I've always done a lot of chores around the house...I very much love and cherish my wife...it's definitely not 'quid pro quo'. We are life partners, who enjoy providing a good life (sexuality is just a small part of it) for each other.

[undeadcarrot]

What I enjoy most about being locked is dragging my feet but being ultimately unable to refuse anything she demands. It's a bit anticlimactic if she doesn't demand anything I'd want to refuse.

It's a game for us though, not the framework of our relationship.

[eido]

Even Chastity Guru Sarah Jameson occasionally ventures into the 'control your male get what you want' riff.

No, I don't think so. If you perceive that, then it's a misunderstanding. I'm pretty clear, I think, when I say using sex (or orgasms) as a currency is a bad idea in a relationship.

I do think it's reasonable for women to expect some quid pro quo for the extra work they have to put in to make their man's fantasy work for him, but that's a different thing.

I think giving or withdrawing sex in return for chores, gifts, or whatever is just a notch below giving and withdrawing affection on the easy-ways-to-wreck-a-relationship scale.

Sarah xxx

So quid pro quo has no element of control to it? As I understand it, there is the unspoken threat of you won't get what you want if I don't get what I want, which is why it's used as a tactic in so many abusive relationships.

Yes, you are very clear on the consensual nature of your relationship. And I love your "Chastity Taliban" moniker, but you still toss out the occasional scary bit, and that is what raises my ruff. But like I said earlier, I get that it's all cheerleading and salesmanship, so I understand I don't need to join the Taliban just because you say something disagreeable.

Eido

[poor]

The entire notion of chastity as a sexual fetish is ironic.