She Won't Go Back

[danj]

I want to wait a few weeks longer, but I'm dying to ask my wife this same question!

[michaelnmelissa]

Danj,

How long have you two been doing MC?

Michael

[Tom Allen]

Don't you sometimes feel like we have discovered this amazing thing? And why isn't everyone in the world discovering it too? I mean, rejunvenate your sex life, your relationship, your marriage with a 5 oz piece of plastic or metal? What's not to like? LOL

D

Lol. You mean looking at problem philanders (either in real life or on TV) and thinking " could do with a device" and knowing that would sort it all out.

:headdesk:

[danj]

Danj,

How long have you two been doing MC?

Michael

Not very long...since October. Don't think my wife was really on board until early-mid November.

[michaelnmelissa]

We started in October too. Wife has been on board eagerly since mid-November.

[danj]

We started in October too. Wife has been on board eagerly since mid-November.

I would think most wives would get on board after they see the benefits of MC. The key seems to be getting them to start. Ours appear to be no exception.

[Shane67]

She won't go back, but how many of you are having second thoughts about going forward? I'm glad this cycle is ending in two weeks, but not for the reason you might think. Our relationship seems to be essentially unfair, which I know is a funny thing to say in a chaste relationship.

[wishful4]

We started in October too. Wife has been on board eagerly since mid-November.

Michael, you and Danj are very fortunate. My spouse and I have been playing with MC for a tad over a year. It has been off and on and progress has been very slow. But I am very thankful for what I have.

[michaelnmelissa]

Shane,

I think the ladies do face that temptation to let it become too one sided. Melissa does recognizes that about herself as well. There is an element of D/s with us, so some one sided aspects are there.

Could you explain some more what you're going through?

Michael

[Shane67]

I'm mostly confused. I have a reasonably wearable device, a wife who's OK with it and is willing to hold the keys, and a vastly improved relationship overall. But... Lucy's involvement is passive, and I still feel like the dominant partner in our sexual relationship. I'm still the one initiating sex, even though sex is all about her pleasure. I still need to prompt her to get any token verbal teasing. I also feel like I've done significantly more work than she has to put the spark back into our relationship, and I guess that's where the "unfairness" comes in. Though just the fact she's OK with locking me up is a huge concession on her part, so this line of thinking makes me feel a little guilty. But just the word "concession" is a sign that all is not right... and around and around it goes. In short, I still feel like I'm topping from the bottom, even though I've supposedly ceded control.

And on top of it all, I'm feeling less sexual the longer I'm denied, and I'm pretty sure that's a bad thing.

(I actually turned down an opportunity to go down on her last night, because I was tired from staying up with our teething child the previous night. I wanted to get her off, but I also wanted to sleep, and sleep won out. I got a few cursory nibbles in and then decided cuddling was OK. This has never happened before.)

Now, nothing has really changed vs when we started in mid October. For those first few weeks I was in heaven, so maybe all this means is that I should negotiate for more frequent releases. But she really does seem to like denying me for long periods, and if I negotiated something that suits me, that would again feel like topping from the bottom. I really want is for her to take a more active role on her own accord, but it's difficult for us to have this discussion without one of us wigging out, so I've tabled any further talks. I'm hoping for a good discussion when we hit the reset button in 11 days.