How do you hold back?

[mistress is god]

Ok, so many of you will have previously read, since my wife falling pregnant (Feb 2010) we have only had sex 3 times. The 3rd time was end of Feb 2012. Last night was number 4.

Both in Feb and last night disaster struck . I normally go about 25 - 30 days between orgasm and last night I was on day 28.

We did our usual fore play but for once this did not work and she brinked and then it went, so was desperate for me to go in. I wanted nothing more then to please her and would not care if I did not cum but it is vitally important that she is fully satisfied. As you can imagine after 28 days I lasted all of a couple of minutes which was just enough time for her to start heading towards the edge again. I tried to stop before my brink and ask for permission to cum (which was refused) but even with me pulling out it was too much and I was over the edge.

The whole process left my wife very frustrated and me knowing that I just don’t have the control I think I do and questioning the whole chastity process.

My wife loves me asking for permission to touch her and permission for me to cum but if she refuses I am unintensely cuming anyway. I hate this… Hate it!!!!

If it makes our sex life worse rather then better why do it......
I love the chastity life style but need to find a way to fully satisfy my wife when ever she wants it.

HOW DO YOU HOLD BACK??????

Wearers and key holders Ideas please.....................

p.s. she hates any kind of toys so forget extensions, vibrators etc

[grubber]

Elma Numbing Cream 5% with a condom. Or no condom and wash your cock very clean about 1/2 hour after applying. Depending on the amount you apply, you can control your orgasm until you need to let go or you can screw all night and never orgasm. Either way you it still feels good for you. It only takes a very small amount to numb for control. We usually apply too much and I won't orgasm no matter what. I think my KH prefers it that way. Anything to keep me frustrated.

[Tom Allen]

Yeah, you're going to get advice on toys, numbing cream, etc. And now for something completely different.

Sometimes it's just going to happen. That's all. You're not a machine; every day is something new for you, and some days your mental or physical control will be at a peak, and other times they won't. You and she need to accept this - you, because you need to understand that sometimes you are going to fail, and it's not your fault. She needs to understand that you're trying, and the problem isn't chastity itself; or rather, there isn't a *problem* in the sense that something isn't working. Rather, you need more practice to keep it from happening more often, and you need more intimacy - because really, that's what this is all about, enhancing your intimate time. Right?

[poor]

When this happened to me a few times last year it made me really unhappy. However Chatelaine loved the fact that I was unable to control myself when I was inside her. Her take on my lovemaking was that it was far too technical and lacked emotional connection.

As she took to the idea that MC was all about giving her what she wanted only when she wanted it, gentle teasing about this turned into a few home truths about all the years she'd had to put up with lengthy uncomfortable intercourse 'just to satisfy my ego'.

The incidence of PIV decreased until we stopped sometime in the summer last year. It's part of her tease & deny patter to wonder aloud 'if this is the night I'll get to be inside her again' but I can't see it being anytime soon and as I would find it massively frustrating to repeat those almost premature experiences, I'm OK that it's off the table.

[MissyBsBitch]

I've had a couple of the premature experiences myself and they made me rather unhappy as well. We/I tried extended pleasure condoms (condoms with a numbing lubicant in them) but this did nothing for the premature.
Last night tho we had sex in the spoon position and it was all good. I didn't orgasm at all and satisfied the wife. The wife got on top to ease herself on before moving to the spoon position and that took some control and not moving at times. As the wife eases on slowly she was moving back and forwards on the head of my cock, so I practiced some multiplicaion tables , that took some effort.

[wettie]

I can rarely hold back, and this morning was a great example. Much of my kink and love of chastity comes from the humiliation of being really bad in bed, small penis, premature ejaculation, never pleasing my wife, so in many ways I embrace it. This morning my wife let me out for the first time in three weeks under the condition that I had 30 seconds in her, which was more than enough.

When I'm locked she gets plenty of orgasms with a vibrator or with me strapping on, but I've come to except and enjoy the humiliation of not being able to do much for her with my penis. That doesn't help you at all, unless you want to adopted my messed up humiliation fetish.

[Chuck]

I just slow down. Sometimes I have to stop for 20 or 30 seconds and then continue, but changing the rhythm usually works for me. She knows I do that to hold back from cumming and if she wants to force me to cum she increases the rhythm from her end. Either way, whether I cum or not, sex is all about our having intimate fun together. Neither her nor I get upset about anything that happens in the bedroom. We're just glad to have the chance to be together.

[hot_toddy_dog]

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned breathing. Everything in your body, including sex, follows your breath. If you lose control of your breath, you won't be able to control your body well under any strenuous activity. If you maintain control of your breath, with long, slow, deep breathing, you will find everything much easier to control. This helps a ton with holding back from orgasm.

[Atone]

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned breathing. Everything in your body, including sex, follows your breath. If you lose control of your breath, you won't be able to control your body well under any strenuous activity. If you maintain control of your breath, with long, slow, deep breathing, you will find everything much easier to control. This helps a ton with holding back from orgasm.

I have never thought about that before. I use breath control a lot in other things I do so it makes sense, I will give it a try. Thanks.

[hot_toddy_dog]

Breath control and using Kegels to hold back the ejaculation reflex will do wonders for you. By using these two techniques combined, I can last pretty much indefinitely, only rarely do I have to ask my wife to slow down. (Perhaps I can now rephrase this, "did I have to ask my wife").

Beware that over-exercising Kegels can have the opposite effect. I can orgasm just by doing pelvic floor exercises and thinking about an erotic fantasy. However, it takes 45 minutes of completely uninterrupted, undisturbed time, which I never have, so the point it moot.