update

[toodlej]

We've now had our cage for about 2 weeks. The husband has been doing well with wearing it except when going on a business trip to Denver. He didn't want to wear it through security! Anybody have any experience with that?
I let him out last night after making him wear it for almost a week with no orgasm. The sex seemed better than normal - I guess there's something to be said about quality vs quantity!
I have a question though - how can I calm the husband down about this? He sends me text messages all day while I"m at work (in a school!) and it seems to be our only topic of conversation when we're alone. I'm enjoying this but it doesn't take over my every thought like it does his. Will he calm down after he's been wearing it a while or is this just the new normal for my life?

[Locked by LRC]

I think it is the excitment of the new part of your life.
When we started full-time my excitment made it so all I wanted to discuss chastiy, orgams denial, teasing, and how long to the weekend for my release. It did irritate LRC. She finally told me I could talk about chastity, in any way, three times a day. Each time after that would add a day. After two days I had added nine days. I quickly learned to contain my excitment inside the cage!

[kpb57]

Hi toodlej!

I recently had to make a business trip myself (see "A trip to Heidelberg" in the Members forum).
We agreed beforehand that I would not be locked during the flights, because we did not want to cause any embarassment at the security checks. Since I managed to make it through the metal detectors without any alarm (the metal remnants of several medical treatments obviously were not enough to set them off), and no full-body scanners were used, I could have made it through with the CB6000 and a plastic lock. I was not subjected to any pat-downs. Of course, this observation is only valid for the airports at Vienna and Frankfurt, and for trips inside the EU.

Your observation of the "sex being better than normal" is surely true. I noticed the same for both of us after the 4-day trip (as I expected beforehand). As a couple, you will have to make the decision where the ideal intersection of the quantity and quality curves is located . This will always be different for different people.

Keep in mind that men are *always* thinking about sex. The fact that there is no other "outlet" now for his building hormones than you focuses his thoughts on you, and that explains his newly found need to communicate about it with you. It will subside a little once the initial excitement has gone by, but it will (and should) always be there if you play it right. Let him know that you enjoy his affectation with you, especially when you have to "put on the brakes" because it gets too overwhelming at times. If it is too much for you, try to channel it in time and/or in the used media (my wife and I have our private chat running via IM, so we can have some quite "graphic" conversations).

Bottom line: enjoy what you got!

K

[poor]

In all probability he is too caught up in this (and by extention, you) to realise that he's becoming single minded about it.

One of the things that I have never seen accurately described is the intensity of the emotional rollercoaster that you become subject to once you've handed over control of your physical sexual pleasure to somebody else.

For a while it is all consuming but as you go through cycles of locking and release, denial and orgasm, it normalises (which in itself is strange) and fades into the background until playtime comes around again. For now though it's down to you as KH to let him know that it's becoming a problem and to sort out boundaries for his enthusiastic pestering (with sanctions if that's how you play).

[danj]

a question though - how can I calm the husband down about this? He sends me text messages all day while I"m at work (in a school!) and it seems to be our only topic of conversation when we're alone. I'm enjoying this but it doesn't take over my every thought like it does his. Will he calm down after he's been wearing it a while or is this just the new normal for my life?

I am often the same way, driving my wife a little nuts with the constant talk about chastity. I do think it gets to be a more normal part of life over time, but I still can get obsessed with the topic.

[Tom Allen]

He sends me text messages all day while I"m at work (in a school!) and it seems to be our only topic of conversation when we're alone. I'm enjoying this but it doesn't take over my every thought like it does his. Will he calm down after he's been wearing it a while or is this just the new normal for my life?

A while ago I blogged about how it affects people in real life, as opposed to the fiction. Try to remember that your life really hasn't changed all that much, while his has changed in some pretty fundamental ways. He's happy and excited and enjoying things, so naturally he's paying more attention to you.

The point here is that, just as in any relationship, it takes a lot of work to communicate your needs and desires, and to control your own impulses so that you don’t blow something out of proportion. Unlike in the wanker fiction, in real life some things can be more difficult because the whole concept of chastity and orgasm control creates a situation in which the control is more passive and often times unseen. From Mrs. Edge’s perspective, her own life hasn’t changed at all, so it would be easy for her to forget that mine has changed in a fundamental way. And I have to be careful about reminding her, so as not to sound like I’m whining; but I do have to remind her of how I’m feeling, or else she might not realize. Sometimes all it takes is just acknowledging that there’s no time right now. . . which sounds exactly like the same issue that non-chastity couples have.

Eventually, yes, he will settle down. This is a new, exciting thing that you're doing, and the best thing is that you're doing it with him, so naturally he's excited. My suggestion is to just roll with it for a couple of weeks, and then gently steer conversations, etc., toward more routine topics. At some point he will become accustomed to this new situation, and will react accordingly.

[whistlersix]

Eventually, yes, he will settle down. This is a new, exciting thing that you're doing, and the best thing is that you're doing it with him, so naturally he's excited. My suggestion is to just roll with it for a couple of weeks, and then gently steer conversations, etc., toward more routine topics. At some point he will become accustomed to this new situation, and will react accordingly.

I agree with Tom. I'm going through this myself lately. I've made every attempt to not overwhelm my spouse with it by not talking about it all the time because she will just pull back and not want to participate.

If it truly does bother you, have a talk with him. Just do it gently, since for him, he is really thinking about it and you 24/7. Let him know you are enjoying this too, but it can't be all encompassing for you. If he's respectful of your wishes, he'll tone it down to a manageable level. Remember, this does have to be enjoyable for the both of you, not just him.

[usaabn]

hello keyholder,

Being new to male chastity too. I might suggest you take the direct approach. If your hubby ask you to
be his keyholder. He should also know that you now make the rules. Simply stating that you only care to discuss the topic is when you choose. Effectively putting your foot down and reminding him that when it comes to his pleasure....He is no longer in charge of those decisions.

usaabn

[LockedUpNewb]

I did the same thing to my wife initially. I still get consumed by my emotions and she has to shut me down sometimes.

My wife told me that I was talking about it too much and that it was beginning to wear her down. She asked me for help. I did/do enjoy the chastity immensely, but she is sometimes not in control enough. So, I suggested that maybe she needed to just put her foot down when I get to be overwhelming.

Mistake....

We have only 1 set rule when I become annoying. She gives me one warning. If I bring it up again anytime within the next 12hrs, there's punishments.

Several times she locked my balls in the humbler and tied my legs over my head and lashed my balls with a nylon cord. It's excruciating -- and while I do enjoy come light CBT - this ain't light - this is brutal and she's made me cry more than once. She's lashed my balls so hard and so repeatedly that the skin has split on 2 different occasions. I always end up with welts and bruising on my balls after that kind of punishment. I do not EVER look forward to having my balls lashed with that nylon cord. It's effective. Nothing more submissive and obedient than a man with welted and bruised balls.

Sometimes she will simply ignore me for a day or two. That's a kind of passive/aggressive torture because I'm locked up and there's no escaping the thoughts, sexual urges and crazed horny feelings inside my head. She'll shut me down and tell me that I am not to bring it up again for 24hrs or 48hrs. Ignoring a guy in chastity is the ultimate torture. Not ignoring him as if he doesn't exist, but ignoring his cock completely. No showers together. No touching. No talking. No sexual contact of any kind. Can't even see her naked or snuggle in bed. Totally ignored sexually. For me - 48hrs of that is miserable.. and she knows it.

My suggestion would be to just get tougher on him. He asked you for chastity and he asked you to control his cock. Controlling his mind (the one on top of his shoulders) comes with the territory. So put your foot down. Step up to the plate. Take charge. Tell him what you want and tell him there's to be consequences if he continues to badger you about his horny thoughts when you're not in the mood to talk about it.

Good luck!!

[toodlej]

Thanks everyone for the suggestions! He is doing better about "bugging me" constantly. I told him there are certain times of the day that I can't deal with it (like teaching school!) I understand that he has to think about it more since he's the one wearing it while my life didn't really change. I'll have to remember that when he's texting me about it.
One more question - how often do yall get released from your cage? I haven't been leaving him in too long at a time since it's still new. Do you get used to wearing it for longer periods after a while?