Male Chastity Fantasy vs Reality

[wishful4]

As I lay next to my KH/spouse last night, locked, awake, and lusting for her, my thoughts ventured back to when I first discovered MC. I thought how very different real life MC is for me today vs the MC fantasy I thought about and wished for a few years ago. I fantasized about being locked for periods with teasing & denial and lots of love making. I never considered the reality of dealing with a device 24/7, periods of discomfort, periods of extreme horniness & frustration, along with the rest of day to day life while wearing a device. Never has there been a truer statement than "Be Careful What You Wish For". Yet, I'm completely addicted and committed to the MC relationship.

Earlier the same evening, I asked my KH/spouse when my next release would be. She asked me how long since my last orgasm. A little over a month ago, I replied. She asked how long before that. A little over 2 months, I again replied. It has not been long enough, she said. Then after a short period of silence, she stated that my next orgasm would be during Christmas. I would be locked most of the time until then with some free periods during the daytime when we are together.

So here I am, my reality MC lifestyle is one of long periods of being locked, cleaning the house once a week, helping her and trying to be attentive. She reciprocates with some occasional teasing and intimacy, but not much traditional sex. I told her once that MC is all about the keyholder and what she wants. Her reply was that she is not sure what she wants yet. Even now, I guess our MC relationship is still in the growing stages. Maybe it is developing along D/s lines and will always be growing and changing. Though it is not what I fantasized about, I am grateful she is participating and I wouldn't change it because it is being done her way and she is growing into it at her own pace. I have never loved her or lusted after her more than I do now.

How does the reality of your MC relationship compare with what you fantasized about and how do you deal with it? Is it better or just different?

[danj]

Interesting question. For me, it is much of what I thought it would be. I enjoy it immensely, but still have those times when I wonder what I am doing! Our cycles tend to be short (as my wife seems to like it), so those times when I do feel especially frustrated have been manageable. When she is busy with things and our intimacy is lower, I do struggle. As long as she acknowledges my chaste position, I typically feel great. It's those times when she does not that are hard. I've actually been craving longer cycles, but that has not been what she has wanted. My introduction of chastity has also brought out my desire to submit to my wife, which has also been very fulfilling for me. It is quite low key, without dominatrix overtones, which is fine by me. I'm letting her lead her own way, and its been fantastic. I'm so in love with her, and MC has brought our intimacy to new heights, and opened the door to her taking the lead in our marriage. It is a continual journey that I think we will both relish.

[wishful4]

My introduction of chastity has also brought out my desire to submit to my wife, which has also been very fulfilling for me. It is quite low key, without dominatrix overtones, which is fine by me. I'm letting her lead her own way, and its been fantastic. I'm so in love with her, and MC has brought our intimacy to new heights, and opened the door to her taking the lead in our marriage. It is a continual journey that I think we will both relish.

Beautifully said, danj! I guess the most difficult thing to manage in our situation is the huge difference in libidos. Despite my age (upper 50ish), mine is still quite high although my recovery time after an orgasm is longer than it used to be. Her libido is quite low due to having a complete hysterectomy several years ago and she hasn't reacted well to HRT so she avoids it. I was pretty pissed at her surgeon when he cut out her sex drive with rest of the nursery without warning us about this side effect. Back then, there may not have been much other options. It took a long time for her libido to start to come back. She can orgasm quite nicely now and enjoys sex, but her drive isn't anywhere close to what it used to be. That's not her fault and I do not try to be pushy, well, most of the time. I am giving her complete control and will see where it goes.

[danj]

Having different level libidos can be challenging. Prior to being married I was with a woman with a very low libido, and it was difficult. My sex drive is higher than my wife's, yet hers is still very good, especially when she is not overwhelmed at work. Her job is very demanding, so that can put her out of the mood. It is easiest for me to be locked at those times and to try and focus on pampering her and doing as much as I can to make things easy for her. I get a lot of satisfaction doing things for her, in and out of the bedroom. All that said, I'm sure it is harder with your much longer cycles. Your wife sounds like she is growing in her dominance, and I suppose we need to be prepared for that, including their desire for longer chaste periods.

[kpb57]

Our situation seems to be different. My wife was always very active, and only the stresses of child rearing had an "attenuating" effect on our sex life.
Now that our younger children have reached the age of 13+, it all has come back, but since we both turn a combined 95 the coming spring, with me being 15 years her senior, I seem to feel the effects of my age, with a slightly receding drive. The plumbing still works very fine, but it sometimes takes stimulation and "willpower" to get ready (and erect) to satisfy her wishes (she absolutely craves PIV and "being taken", as she describes it).

So I'm on the lookout for ways to improve/keep my drive, starting on the diet side. Chocolate seems to have a positive effect (unfortunately also on the waistline), and I'll probably try Ginseng capsules.

K

[poor]

There's got to be a whole other thread on MC masking the diminishment of libido.

Here's my take on reality. Yesterday she commented on how pleased she was when she came home to find the kitchen had been given a thorough de-gunk. Today she took a picture of the roses I bought her alongside the really difficult to find coffee she likes that I left on the worksurface before I went to work. After 24 days without stimulation I'd gratefully fuck her armpit but she's tired and if I get obviously sexual she'll put me in for a few more nights of broken sleep and days of waiting until I really can't wait before I must use the toilet. I'll get a few more days soon enough anyway and it's still a month until my next orgasm is due if she sticks to what she said and it's too close to Christmas (and possibly new years eve) to be certain about anything. When it comes(sic) it'll be almost holy and yet not enough and the stupidity of denial will start all over again.

Fantasy: I certainly enjoy a lot of the things I've read about the things that happen in other MC relationships. If anyone remembers WHAP magazine then you'd get my take on it all. Sent to bed early with a red-hot backside and no supper sort of thing. I'm a very willing victim.

[cb6000s]

Dear poor. I can’t grasp what you are saying. You say the reality is that your wife complimented you twice. For the kitchen and for the roses. Then she continues to deny you an orgasm until some date in the future. For me, that is the fantasy I wish for.

[poor]

I deserved those compliments (and Chatelaine knows that praise pays).

It's a lot like being on a diet; when you're jogging or somebody notices it all makes perfect sense but when you are bored or snacky and the biscuit tin is only over there then you've got to dig in and remember how good it'll feel when you get on the scales.

I'm delighted to be where we are but can't be 'zen' about it all the time when days have turned to weeks and may go months. However you slice it, it's a long time waiting.

[Chuck]

How does the reality of your MC relationship compare with what you fantasized about and how do you deal with it? Is it better or just different?

I guess the fantasy of it was T&D on a daily basis and being locked up for indefinite periods with her constantly reminding me of my inability to masturbate or cum while she masturbated in front of me often and had me orally service her on a regular basis and on my release date have her give me the mother of all orgasms.

The reality is that "Life is". Same old mundane stuff. Feed the animals, pay the bills, work sleep,watch tv and tend to our social obligations. We do however have much better communication and more frequent sexual contact. She is freeing herself up sexually to focus on her own pleasure since she no longer has to feel like she has to get me off each time. (I didn't cum every time we had sex anyway and she would feel guily about that.) We are getting closer emotionally and are much more intimate in non sexual times as well. She's also beginning to really understand that I've always meant it when I told her that when she feels good, I feel good, when she's happy I am too. She gets more foot rubs and massaging than ever before because I still have a need to be physical and since I can no longer rely on my penis to do all that I find other ways to make that physical connection. Our sex is better and lasts longer, even piv. She's really getting into it and we're both very happy that I brought it up and we are both loving it.

All in all, the reality is better than I could have ever imagined. Better than even the fantasy.

[Whizbang]

How does the reality of your MC relationship compare with what you fantasized about and how do you deal with it? Is it better or just different?

It's ... complicated.

He bought me the device in the early summer.

I liked it more than I could possibly have known, though I had entertained such thoughts before.

It took me some time to get sizing and device correct. I therefore have a few backups.

I've had a two health-related breaks, the last one being very severe.

But I'm back on that horse now.

But apparently he likes chastity, too... was there some agenda with that initial purchase?... and he is now trying out my CB6000, with me being in my metal device.

(Brought to you by M Night Shyalaman)