Listening

[fuzzydunlop]

This is a very common vanilla subject here but I thought I would share. Went out for coffee with spouse today. Out of the blue, she said "I really like that you are listening and talking about what I want to talk about.". I really wasn't trying very hard and there was no reference to Day 8 of our current streak. Odd, but it annoys me a little that my physiology works this way. Chastity works better and is cheaper than the therapy I occassionally go to.

[Atone]

I have found that chastity and therapy go well together. I don't think chastity would have worked nearly so well in our relationship if it were not for some of the skills that we learned in therapy. Our experience of chastity has really sharpened a lot of the skills that we were working on.

We had a funny session a while back, probably about 6 months ago. I don't remember what we were working on but in the middle of the session our therapist stopped and asked if whatever it was might be related to sexual intimacy (specifically lack of). We just looked at each other and laughed, I don't think our sex life had ever been better and that thought had never entered our heads.

-A

[Belle]

It has increased our communication/listening as well. We were contemplating beginning therapy when we started MC and were able to resolve the communication issues on our own.
I was actually in the mental health field for over 10 years before having our children. There were many couples that I worked with that I think could have benefited from MC.

[poor]

I actually once said to my wife "I've had about 200 conversations at work today. Please don't take this the wrong way but the last thing I need is one more telling me what I already know. I can see what you've done. I know what your friends are like. I'm hungry and tired; can we sort that out and then I'll be able to hear what you want from me".

I know I said that because it's been thrown back at me several times over the years. I can now appreciate the hurt that must of caused but I meant it because what I did for us was more important to me than how I did it (or more accurately who I was doing it for). Looking back I'm surprised we've survived as a couple.

Now I will make time in my week to have coffee out with my wife. I'm often dead on my feet at the end of the day and am unable to give the attention that she deserves. Its our most productive time together and I really enjoy spending the time investing in the most important person in my world. I know she appreciates the effort it takes to be with her and that is usually reward enough for me.

[kpb57]

It helps when both partners do have a job, especially when they are in the same kind of business. Both have an appreciation of what kind of stresses the other had to go through during the day.

We share our car for the way home from work, which gives us the opportunity to deal with work-related issues on the way home and have some kind a clean slate when we come home to be there for the kids. And sometimes we take a detour and have dinner on our own.

K

[fuzzydunlop]

The biggest reason I've gone to therapy is my own stress management. Exercise and dieting help, but those are the first things to go when I am stressed. For some reason, chastity does a great job of redirecting my mental energy. I can't totally control when I am in to it and when not is tjhe only problem.