[Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

[Tongue+groove]

. It just struck me how normal it’s all become now.

Yes it does get that way. I have gotten to where I can pleasure Mrs. G and knowing that I will remain locked I won’t even strain the cage. It’s an odd feeling to be intimate and remain soft.

I’m not overly familiar with the Bdsm world but this term switch sounds like it may aptly apply to us. I need to dig deeper into this.

Thanks.

[Chosen_Jackal]

Red and I had plans for last night, but you know what they say about plans.
She’s finally getting comfortable enough in her own body after her procedure to start being intimate again, so it was more or less implied what was going to happen once we got to bed.
But it turns out that Red reacts differently than she used to do to certain food groups, so she ended up feeling unwell.
It’s hard to feel sexy when your body isn’t playing along, so we ended up skipping any form of sex entirely.

A part of me was certainly disappointed, but I didn’t blame Red in the slightest.
Of course I wanted to service and please her, but her wellbeing comes first.
There will be other opportunities for us to be intimate again soon.

So I’m lying here thinking about the things we get out of chastity and the things we give up.
It’s easy to see what we, men mostly, give up. The choice to pleasure ourselves. The ability to masturbate.
The choice of what to do sexually with our own bodies.
What we gain by giving these choices over to another person is absolutely worth it in my opinion. The feeling of being chosen. This is true even when we’re being denied, maybe even more so.
It’s like we’re being told that our pleasure and release is so precious that it must be given sparingly, so it doesn’t become cheap and watered down.

Then I started thinking about what our key holders get out of this, but also what they give up for this life style.
It’s easy to see the benefits. They’re literally being worshipped by us and the sole focus of our desire. The power. The ability to make decisions for us.
But they also sacrifice.
I know Red, my key holder, sometimes miss regular intercourse with me even though we have many other ways of giving her orgasms. There’s something intimate about it that’s not easily replicated.
I think Red feels that it’s worth it, but I know she really enjoys seeing and feeling me having an orgasm when I’m inside her.
This makes me wonder what other things she and other key holders feel that they sacrifice for this life style?

[Chosen_Jackal]

I guess there’s no point in chasing new records anymore. My previous “best” was 33 days without an orgasm, not long by some standards, but a lifetime for anyone who’s never practiced chastity. But I’ve learned that this isn’t about numbers. It’s not up to me. And honestly, that’s what makes it work.

Last night marked 30 days. It wasn’t planned. But it was glorious.

When Red and I first started this journey, I thought it was just about kink. Something I’d fantasized about for years. Maybe even a way to explore my submissive side without fully admitting that’s what I was doing. But I never expected it to bring us this much closer. Or to bring me this much clarity.

Every act of service feels more intentional now. More connected. I see the last 19 years through a different lens, not because we were bad together, but because now we’re better. Chastity has helped me work through deep seated insecurities about my body and allowed me to recognize my worth, not just as her partner, but as her submissive.

And that’s why my orgasms matter so much now.

They aren’t handed out casually anymore. There’s intention behind them. Meaning. She decides if and when, and that changes everything. They’ve gone from being a reflex to something sacred.

Last night, Red unlocked me for a proper shower, and she didn’t lock me back up before bed. I noticed, of course. I hoped. And then she told me to go down on her. No ceremony, just an order. I was happy to obey.

She saw how hard it made me, teased me about maybe wanting to fuck her a little. I wasn’t allowed to cum, at least not at first. But something shifted. It felt good. Maybe better than she expected, and she didn’t want me to stop. I warned her I couldn’t keep going without cumming.

“Worth it,” she said.

And that was that. I came. And I kept going. I made sure she finished too. That part matters to me more than anything else.

It wasn’t planned, but it felt right. She wanted it. And that’s all I really hope for. That when I’m allowed to orgasm, it’s because it brings her satisfaction too.

I slept uncaged last night so I could rest without interruption. This morning, I was locked again. Back where I belong.

[Tongue+groove]

. “Worth it,” she said.

This is right in line with your post about what a KH sacrifices. It appears she has sacrificed that need to be taken at times.

Worth it says volumes.

[Chosen_Jackal]

I wasn’t feeling too well today so I decided to go home early.
I found Red in bed and she was determined that I should join her.
Yes mam, I’m not hard to convince.
She told me to get the key, unlock and service her.
And then again after we’d both taken a nap.

So three times in less than 12 hours for me.

Strange how much better I felt after that

[denied_one]

Chosen_Jackal,
A wise keyholder words of wisdom:

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate.

Suggest her joining the community. She can learn for the Key Holders in this forum.

She is here
@Redraven

[Chosen_Jackal]

There’s always a lesson to be learned. And sometimes, it’s that too much of a good thing is possible. That realization was humbling. But like all lessons, it offers a path forward, and this one is no different.

Two days ago, Red let me cum. It happened organically, during our first real moment of intimacy since her surgery. She teased me by letting me enter her but told me not to cum. When I warned her I was close, she surprised us both, deciding it was worth it to finish together.
It was heavenly.

The next day, I came home early to find her resting. She was horny. I joined her in bed, and she unlocked me for two more rounds of unfiltered, mutual pleasure. It still felt wonderful.

But last night, something shifted.

We were both turned on. She teased me relentlessly, making me beg. She hadn’t planned on unlocking me again, but I pushed. I pleaded to be allowed to fuck her one more time, knowing that she likes hearing me beg. I don’t know what changed her mind, but she gave in, with one condition. I could only cum if I did so before she did.

I didn’t. She finished, pushed me away, and it was lovely… until I noticed something was wrong.

In my eagerness, I’d removed the cage but not the base ring. My cock was swollen, angry red. The ring trapped the blood like a cock ring gone too far. We were both a little concerned.

I asked if I could masturbate to relieve the pressure. I could tell she didn’t want to say yes, but she did, out of concern. What followed was one of the most underwhelming orgasms I can remember. Even her ruined orgasms feel more meaningful than that.

It was physically disappointing, yes, but worse, it felt empty. Not because it was solo, but because it wasn’t hers. There was no intention. No dominance. No meaning.

And maybe that’s the lesson.
Intentionality.

I want to feel like I matter to her. That my service has meaning. That every reward, whether it’s an orgasm or a kiss on the forehead, is given with purpose.

I’m back in the cage now. Because that’s what she wants.

And honestly? That feels far better than the excuse of an orgasm I had last night.

[Tongue+groove]

Now you know how I feel most times that Mrs. G has me finish myself for her. Only you probably had it worse because it was more about the mechanics of the act.

Would it have been different if when she pushed you off she would have said something like,

“Finish yourself for me, I want to watch.”

I will do it because she has requested it. It always feels good in the moment but in the end it is not very satisfying. The only consolation is that I did it for her. I always have to keep in mind how much I enjoy watching her and hope that I am giving her the same benefit.

The unexpected result of it all is that she seems to become more confident in herself with controlling my orgasms.

A confident kh is what makes the locked life a good life.

[Chosen_Jackal]

I think it would make all the difference in the world if she wanted me to cum.
But it was clear that her intent was to tease and deny.

I think that’s a lesson learned.

[Chosen_Jackal]

Last night, she sat on me and started playing with my balls while scrolling her phone.

It wasn’t a sex act. She didn’t say anything. Didn’t look at me like I was supposed to do anything in return. Just kept scrolling, slow, relaxed, and occasionally gave them a gentle squeeze or lazy tug.

And I felt seen. Almost more than I do when we have sex, honestly.

There was something about the way she touched me, not to please me, not even to tease me really, but just because she could. Like my body was hers to toy with when she felt like it. Not special. Not dramatic. Just normal.

I think that’s what got to me. How normal it felt. Like being locked and used is just how things are now. Like she doesn’t need to make a point anymore. She just owns me.

It made my head quiet. Made me still. It reminded me that I don’t need release to feel wanted. I just need to be remembered. And in that moment, I was.

-

I also need to mention how confident and comfortable she’s become. Later in the evening, when we went to bed she effortlessly and like its the most natural thing in the world (which it is) just laid back and let me service her with my mouth.
It’s hard to explain how arousing it is to see her just enjoy herself with no thought of reciprocating the favor to me.
I fully believe she’s completely comfortable with receiving, trusting that I’m serious when I tell her that her pleasure means so much more than my own.
It’s been a while since last time, but she wanted me to take her with the strap on and I must admit that it’s one of my favorite ways to bring her to climax.

I’ve also started a silly little count since we started chastity and our FLR journey. I’ve kept count of how many orgasms she’s had compared to me and last night was number 100.
I feel I should maybe buy her flowers or something to celebrate