[Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

[Chosen_Jackal]

I’ve been feeling like I’ve failed Red lately.

Not in some dramatic, falling-from-grace kind of way. Just… quietly. Slowly. In the day-to-day moments where I see something she’s done. A chore I meant to do, promised myself I’d do, and realize she picked up my slack again.

It’s not that I don’t want to serve her. I do. More than anything. The idea of taking on every chore, every task, every burden so she doesn’t have to, that still makes my chest ache in the best way. But I set myself up with a vision that simply doesn’t match our current life. When I was home on sick leave, I had the time and energy to take on almost everything at home.
And I did.
It felt good.
It felt right.

But now I’m back at work. Working a lot of overtime, actually. Not for selfish reasons, but because it’s the smart decision for our family right now. And still I’ve tried to hold myself to that same level of service, thinking anything less would be a betrayal of my role as her submissive. And when I couldn’t keep up, when the house was messier than it should be, when I’d procrastinate and she’d do it instead… the shame crept in.

It’s hard to admit to your Domme that you’re not holding it together. That you’ve taken on too much and are quietly buckling under the weight of your own devotion. It feels like weakness. Like failure.

But when I finally talked to Red about it, something shifted. We had an honest conversation.
Not just about what I was doing wrong, but about what our lives actually look like. The kind of responsibilities we juggle. The time we don’t have. The energy that gets eaten up by parenting, work, everything else.

And we agreed: the fantasy version of a full-time, domestic FLR just isn’t realistic for us right now. Not with teens at home. Not with our schedules. Not without me burning out completely. And instead of that being a disappointment, it was actually a relief.

We came up with something real. Something sustainable.

My daily responsibilities are now the kitchen, hallway, and living room. Every task that’s done within those rooms. My responsibility. That’s it. Manageable. Concrete. No excuses. No delays. If she tells me to do something more, I will, gladly, but I’m no longer walking around under the silent pressure of trying to do everything and still feeling like it’s not enough.

And she was clear, too: she doesn’t want to micromanage me. She doesn’t want to check in on whether I did my chores or keep track of punishments and rewards. She doesn’t want another child. And I get that. I respect it. That’s not the kind of Domme she is, and it’s not the kind of man I want to be. I want to serve because it’s who I am, not because she’s keeping score.

What works, what really puts me in the right headspace, are those small, potent reminders of her dominance. The way she kissed me yesterday with her hand around my throat. The tone in her voice when she gives a simple command. The touch of her hand on my locked cock while she talks about something else entirely. These quiet moments don’t just turn me on.
They settle me.
They remind me of my place.
They make me eager to serve.

And she’s been doing more of that lately. I needed to acknowledge it, and I did. I didn’t bring this up to suggest something was missing. I brought it up to name what resonates with me the most. And she heard me. Like she always does.

So this is the version of FLR we’re living right now: realistic, loving, sustainable. It may not look like the fantasy I used to read about online.
The 24/7 control, the full domestic submission, the strict punishments, but it’s real. And more than that, it’s ours.

And maybe that’s the most submissive thing of all: not failing inside some idealized version of service, but showing up for the real woman I love.
Day after day, room by room, with open hands and honest devotion.

[Tongue+groove]

So this is the version of FLR we’re living right now: realistic, loving, sustainable. It may not look like the fantasy I used to read about online..

This is the good stuff that comes from quality communication. Mrs. G and I have had somewhat similar conversations. I know that as the days get longer my outside obligations steadily increase. Ironically enough we had a similar conversation today while on the road about what I do to help.

So long story short when we got home I was to do my feed chores then come help her with housework so she won’t feel behind when she goes back to work tomorrow.

I get to do the dusting and learn how her new laundry machines work. I’m sure more will creep up and I’m good with that.

Finding balance is the key and it appears you’re getting there together.

[Chosen_Jackal]

We found that setting an unrealistic expectation with how our lives are right now led to me falling behind when I saw I couldn’t live up to the goals I set for myself.
By lowering expectations to a realistic goal I find my motivation to do what’s expected of me to be much better.

Maybe we can increase what I do in the future, but the way things are right now means this was the right move.

[Tongue+groove]

I also find that I expect more from me than mrs. G does. If I do too much it can cause her to feel unnecessary. It is a balancing act of sorts. I know that mrs. G still struggles at times with my submissive side.

The two of you will find balance as long as you do it together. And don’t be surprised if the balance point shifts with time and outside influences.

It’s a journey.

[Chosen_Jackal]

Nothing too exciting to report.
Life just has a way of getting in the way sometimes, and that’s okay, because I know good times are coming.

Red has some issues that leaves little energy for us to be adventurous, none of them serious in themselves, but added together they take their toll.
Not to toot my own horn, but I’m pleased to say that I give her space to deal with the issues I can’t help her with, and do my best to aid her with those I can.
My needs are important, but not right now.

She comes first.
Always.

[Tongue+groove]

She comes first.
Always.

Yes oh yes! In the words of Mrs. G.

You’re a good man to take care of her.

[Chosen_Jackal]

We’re slowly getting back into our routine. The last couple of weeks have been marred by stress and a million little things that have eaten away at the chance of quality time between Red and I.
I’ve struggled with feeling sexual and, even though I’ve been caged the whole time, I’ve simply not felt much arousal at all.

Red is very good at picking up on how I’m feeling and she’s been lovely. I’ve just not been able to respond the way I truly want to.
I think I held a lot of stress inside and bottled it up in order to let Red deal with the things that stressed her.
That worked for a while but when she seemed to be over the worst of it, it all came rushing down on me.
I’m proud of us though. We’ve communicated that the way we’ve felt and acted isn’t what either of us want, and that it’s temporary. We’re in agreement on how we want our lives to be so we’re working together towards our common goal.

Last night felt like a shift back into the way things are supposed to be.
It wasn’t particularly kinky or extreme in any way, but it was intimate and so deeply rewarding for us both.
I gave her an oily foot massage in bed as we listened to an audiobook and decompressed after the day.
When she communicated that she was satisfied I felt a strong urge to continue to touch her.
To feel her.
Smell her.
Taste her.

She picked up on it immediately and even though I think we both expected to just go to sleep after the massage she offered herself up to me.
I finally felt what I’ve missed for a while.
An overwhelming amount of arousal.
I buried my face between her legs and we took our time.
Slow and firm movements with the tongue at first.
I made sure not to focus too much on her clit at first, working and awakening her entirely down there, before I worked my way into a rhythm that grazed it steadily.
I sucked it in between my upper lip and my tongue and I was rewarded immediately by sounds of her whimpering in pleasure.
I didn’t rush.
I kept building slowly and steadily and I felt her entire body loosen up as she enjoyed herself.

I swear I can almost read her mind sometimes as I slowly slipped two fingers inside and started working her g spot while my tongue picked up pace and focused more on her clit diretly.
"F-fingers… oh you’re already ahead of me" she said as I slowly increased the rhythm.
It didn’t take long before she grabbed my head and pushed me into her crotch and came with a muffled cry.

I swear that these are the moments I live for.
When I can just give pleasure and she can receive. None of us have any thoughts of returning the favor for me.
That’s not how it works for us anymore. She’s not selfish. She’s entitled to this treatment. It’s my honor to be there for her and it gives me more than any orgasm ever could.

I didn’t sleep very well after. My cock pressed against the cage, but it’s a feeling I’ve grown to love.

[Tongue+groove]

It’s my honor to be there for her and it gives me more than any orgasm ever could.

This is what it’s all about.