[Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

[Chosen_Jackal]

Yeah it leaves my head spinning, that’s for sure

[Chosen_Jackal]

Real-life FLR and D/s relationships aren’t like the erotica you read online.
Well, ours isn’t anyway.

It’s exciting to read those stories where the Domme knows exactly what to do and how to break her submissive male (who often has no idea he’s submissive until he meets this powerful woman), with no prior discussion about boundaries, wants, or needs.

Red and I spent some time after I serviced her last night discussing how we want our relationship to evolve.
She was particularly interested in knowing if I felt neglected or if I had needs that weren’t being met in our current dynamic.
I still struggle a bit with communicating my needs and wants without feeling like I’m directing her, so I was very grateful that she brought up the subject.

I do not feel neglected, but I would also like there to be a little more play where I’m the focus.
We’re figuring these things out together, and it’s impossible to get it right without communicating.

Red told me she’s loving how we’re doing things now and that she’s very happy and satisfied, but also that she still struggles a bit with feeling selfish when she receives so much and I so little in return.
I told her that I don’t feel that way at all. When I have the honor of providing pleasure for her, I absolutely feel like I’m getting a lot out of it too.

That said, I’m a kinky bastard and would absolutely love to receive more sensation play, pain, pleasure, humiliation, everything you can think of, but it’s all contingent on her wanting to do these things.
I’d hate to feel like she does anything solely for my benefit without getting something out of it herself.

So we spent this time talking about these things, and now we have a better understanding of what each of us wants and needs.

I’m very excited about what the future holds.

[Tongue+groove]

I saw something somewhere, maybe over at cm, but it said something to the following effect.

Being locked with the expectation of the kh satisfying your t&d wants is not any different that her having obligation sex.

Mrs. G is a lot like miss Red. They still have an intrinsic desire to see that our needs/wants are met. It’s a natural attitude and takes some time to modify. In fact I don’t think you or I will ever totally change it. For myself it seemed that giving her the power to say ‘no’ without guilt is the real hurdle.

And if keeping me locked gives her that freedom with ease of mind then I’m probably going to be here for a while.


Just my thoughts.

[Chosen_Jackal]

I mostly agree with your statement.
I also think that there’s way too many men that almost forces their key holders to be their kink dispensers, and that those men like to pretend that they’re submissive while their women do their best to appease them.
But I do think it’s not only fair, but appropriate to discuss wants and needs, boundaries, and expectations when one enters this lifestyle.
Some couples wants to put 100% of the power in one partners hand, while others just want to skew the dynamic a little.
I think it’s all good as long as everyone involved is having fun.

Red has all the control when it comes to when I get any form of stimulation, but she also knows me better than anyone and wants me to be happy.
So maybe she’ll throw me a bone now and then. I still think she’s the one calling the shots

[Chosen_Jackal]

Yesterday was one of those days that could’ve ended in disaster but luckily it didn’t.
Spoiler; it was all my fault.
As usual.
I do think it’s important to talk about the bad stuff as much as the good stuff so what happened was a cocktail of bad circumstances met my foul mood.
It was my first day back at work after six weeks of sick leave following my surgery, and I’d had almost no sleep the night before.
Work was fine actually, so that wasn’t an issue.
I’d also listened to a podcast with some personally triggering content on the way back home.

I let my insecurities and self centered mess bubble to the surface and I ended up hurting my own and Reds feelings.
This is where we’re different from how we used to be.
Red told me how my words made her feel and that we had discussed these very issues the night before. Her words cut through my fog of selfishness and self pity and I immediately realized that she was right.
We talked it through, and came out in the other side with a clearer understanding of each other.

I regret the way I brought my feelings up to her, but in the end I’m glad we did talk about them.
I just need to find a better way to sit with my emotions and keep my ego out of it when I do bring up how I’m feeling.
Red is helping me get there though and she’s making me a better man every day.
Every day has been better than the previous after we both agreed we wanted a FLR. I’m trusting her completely and she’s lived up to the task admirably so far. We have much to learn still, but we’re dedicated to working out the issues we face together.

I love her so much.

[Chosen_Jackal]

The last thing I had in mind after yesterday’s near argument between Red and myself was any form of play.
I felt like I didn’t deserve it, and I was convinced Red wasn’t in the mood for that kind of connection either.
But as bedtime approached, the energy between us became tangible.
I said I needed to take a shower and the look she gave me told me everything I needed to know.

I don’t know what got into Red.
Maybe she wanted to punish me a little for the earlier situation, or maybe she just wanted to up the stakes.
She guided me into the bedroom before I was allowed to shower and told me she had something in mind.
She pulled out a set of nipple clamps connected by a heavy chain.
I enjoy playful pain, but I don’t consider myself a masochist. The initial pain was sharp, but just on the edge of bearable.
Then she pulled on the chain, tightening the clamps.
I whimpered.
“Now you can go take your shower,” she said with a wicked grin.

She followed me to the bathroom.
She likes to watch me undress and clean myself. She knows it makes me very self-conscious and messes with my mind.
The chain tugged on the clamps each time I leaned over, sending tingles down to my caged cock.

She unlocked me, and it grew immediately, like it was stretching after a long sleep.
Getting hard in the cage becomes familiar after a while, but it’s always unsatisfying.
So the sensation of a full erection after so long felt incredible.
I looked at Red and saw her staring, and I knew she liked what she saw.
And then she said the perfect words:

“It’s big, but it’s just not big enough for me.”
One sentence. Built me up. Tore me down. And I loved it.

She led me back to the bedroom, and I can’t believe how confident and dominant she’s become in such a short time.
She kept me on the edge for what felt like forever, tugging on the nipple clamps each time I got close.
She used to be squeamish about sounding, but now she eagerly pushed the long metal rod down my cock while stroking me, edging me again and again until I was almost crying out that I’d cum if she didn’t stop.
Of course, I know I’m not allowed to cum unless she says so.

She’s almost obsessed with milking me. Ruined orgasms, as she calls them, and the gleam in her eyes as she did it was mesmerizing.
Each time she brought me right to the edge, only to stop at the last moment, and I’d feel cum dribble out with no real release.
Just tension.
Over and over again. Five, maybe six times.
Each time I thought I was empty… and each time she proved me wrong.
And at the end? Still rock hard. Still desperate.

It’s cliché for men in chastity, but I honestly prefer ruined orgasms now.
I hate the crash after a full one.
The ruined ones keep me present, raw, alive, and aching for her.

And we weren’t done.
Red told me to fuck her.
I was ready. Desperate.
It felt amazing… but she told me I wasn’t hitting the right spots.
So she told me to get the real cock.

I strapped it on and helped give her another one of her sleeping pills. The kind only I can administer.

By then I was overwhelmed and craving the cage again.
It’s a strange feeling, locking yourself up when you’re that horny. Both right and wrong all at once.
We inserted the tetherspout, locked the cage, and secured it fully.
No escape. No cheating. Just hers.

I slept like a baby.

[Tongue+groove]

Sound a lot like a new type of makeup sex. Maybe I’ll instigate a disagreement with Mrs. G. Or would that be topping from the bottom?

[Chosen_Jackal]

From what you’ve told us about Mrs G I don’t know if that’s a good idea

[denied_one]

I’d hate to feel like she does anything solely for my benefit without getting something out of it herself.

This is a person who loves you. Sometimes what they may get "out of it for themselves" is the knowledge that they pleased you with something they may not have ever thought of, or don't necessarily care for it...but they care for YOU.

Just food for thought.

[K_J]

Sounds like your two are on an awesome trajectory. And an intimidating one! I feel my wife and I are on a similar path.

Question about sounding, as that’s not something we’ve spent any time with. Would love to be able to have multiple ruins. Does sounding contribute to that ability for you? I often feel my ruins are closer to full orgasms, and feel a drop off for a day or so. The drop off is shorter than a full orgasm’s, but it’s more than we want usually. Most of these ruins are happening while caged, it’s almost more of a mental issue than over stimulation I think. But wonder about getting to that “milking state” you’re experiencing.