New and need help

[Immaterial Penis]

Hi all,
I'm new to the site and to chastity.
This is about devotion to my darling wife for me.
After 3 years without sex due to the menopause, our sex life has reignited, however I find that me giving her pleasure is more important than pleasure for myself and I shared my desire to be caged.
My darling wife was shocked at first, but after a lot of communication, we are in a pattern of me being locked after I get up and removing the cage before bed.
My darling wife is struggling with the concept of being my keyholder as she thinks that having this level of control over someone else isn't right.
She has made it clear that she doesn't want me to wear it in bed or to see me in the cage.
She doesn't want to feel it touching her when we cuddle either.
She is happy that all our sexual relationship is focused on her so that she doesn't need to worry about having to please me and can be focused on herself. This I absolutely love!!
I have been locked daily in my cage since 29th October daily, and whilst I would love to be locked 24/7, my darling wife has made the rules.
She has already compromised from me not wearing it when she is home to me wearing it from morning until bedtime and so has come a long way.
I just have the burning desire for her to be my keyholder and be locked 24/7.
She does recognise all the other benefits of me being more supportive, helping her more and focusing on her needs more and says that the change in me is amazing and very positive.
I really want to be focused on her and anything sexual to be about her.
I used to masterbate regularly, but have not orgasmed since I first wore the cage on the 29th and I honestly feels good about that.
I did tell her that I had an epiphany in that I realised that my penis is irrelevant in our relationship now and that sex for my pleasure was my focus before. She agreed that my penis isn't important to her either and I am really ok about it.
She has also said that the cage feels like another person is controlling me and I have said that I am controlling the cage to control me and that she could be in control of the cage if she was the keyholder.
Sorry for the long post, but I'm not sure how we navigate this from here......

[Tongue+groove]

but I'm not sure how we navigate this from here......

Patiently is the best answer you will find on here. Along with open honest communication. And don’t push the issue with her.


Mrs. Groove was much like what you have described. She has come along way in 10 months. On occasion she will step out of her comfort zone for me. I run with it without overdoing it. In your situation I suspect it will take some time for her to get comfortable seeing it on you. When she does consider it a big step forward.

Keep us posted, you will get a lot of unsolicited advice. Choose what works for you. Everyone’s journey is different.

Good luck.

[Immaterial Penis]

Thank you for your reply.
I obviously need to give her space to process.

[Mr Pickle]

Hi @Immaterial Penis

You're standing in a bit of a precipice at the moment by the sound of it and it could go either way.

Many of us have been there and there are a few thing I would want to add to Patience, which is of course paramount. Patience really is key. Patience as in months or even years if need be, so that bit comes down to you. Push and your wife may well push back harder. This would be a bad place to be. Been there. Never want to be there again.

The most important thing I think is your relationship.

You already have something that millions do not. A wife that obviously loves you. Grasp that with both hands and dont let it go.

Carry on as you are if it isn't causing problems relationshipwise and hopefully it will progress.
It may be slow. Painfully slow, and then one day things might click.
I hope this happens for you both.

Or it might cause discord, or a rift or worse. Look out for this and agree to stop everything rather than lose her.
Chances are after time she will think it over and see it as something harmless, like it is. No one needs to know. It doesnt hurt. It could make you happy.

The seed is planted. Hopefully it will grow.

If not. You can ask again next year. Patience.

It might never happen? If so. Step back and be grateful to have a wife who loves you. There really is no kink on earth worth more than that.

Good luck.

[Immaterial Penis]

Thank you so much.
Yes, she does love me and we are openly communicating better than ever (my doing, not hers as she has always been good at communicating).
The whole chastity desire has come out of the blue for her and you are right that nothing is worth losing my darling wife over.
We have agreed to take it slow and one step at a time.
Thank you again. Your posts have been very useful in setting my mindset.