[JustChattin] Shoulder devil wins again

[JustChattin]

Sorry. Misunderstood the forum. Wasn't looking for answers to questions I hadn't asked. Be well.

[Tongue+groove]

I’ve been in your shoes. I experimented for two weeks before coming clean. I also referred to the book locked in love by key Barrett.

Once I shared my desires with my wife I just backed off and gave her her space. I waited till she brought it up. It took about two days . when she did I was totally shocked that she was game for a two week trial. I didn’t push anything for that two weeks I just let life happen. Then we were off and on for about a month or so. At some point it just became the norm.

The day she said let’s try this was Jan. 11 2024. Soon to be a year, and what a ride it has been .

Open, honest and patient communication is the best. You might be surprised at what happens.

[Mr Pickle]

The first six paragraphs of your entry explains this, your feelings, and concerns very well

Its very honest. I would start with that.

Good luck.

[InversionOfControl]

I wear a Kink3d Cobra and can confirm the packaging is discrete. You should be fine there.

I was in very similar shoes as you about 5 years ago. My wife keeps me locked 24/7 now after years of trial and error, playing with it on and off.

I approached the topic carefully, like @Tongue+groove mentioned. She was hesitantly open to it, and we spent years testing and building, finding what works for us.

Be brave, and have hope.

[Atone]

I also have been masturbating much more frequently -- by far the most often while watching videos of men in various chastity-relevant situations.

lol, how ironic

I would be buying and using a sex toy behind my wife's back.

I have done this before so no judgement but I would not do this.

Good luck with your adventure

[ARK]

A wise KH has said. Communicate Communicate Communicate. Talk with her. Show her the cage. TRY to explain why you are interested. It is not easy. Good luck

[JustChattin]

Apologies.

[ARK]

Be careful sending stuff to your work. I worked with a guy who bought porn videos and had them delivered to work. The mail room opened all packages delivered before send them to the owner. He was not employed long after that issue.

[Tongue+groove]

I need to figure out how to talk to my wife of 25 years about this. Another humbling thought.

This will be the first of many once you get past it, and you will.

My personal and unsolicited advice is to share your midlife crises thoughts with her. when she sees all the effort you’ve gone to in order to protect her from the situation she will hopefully become more understanding and sympathetic. The fact that you couldn’t finish the other night may be because your mind was consumed with this “crisis “.

When I was in your shoes (and I was) my wife was shocked and impressed that I had actually experimented without her knowing. When I finally broke the news to her she was relieved with what I told her. She was expecting me to tell her I had cancer or wanted out of the marriage. I asked her to consider helping me with a two week trial and I left her to think about it.

36 hours later we were getting frisky and she asked to see it on me. So I locked up. She took a good long look and even touched it. Asked about comfort then out of the blue says. “Well, I guess we just started a two week trial.”

She had sex that night with me, my penis was not involved. Hopefully you will have a similar experience, and I think you will.

I look back and wish I would have come clean sooner. Good luck.

[ARK]

Lady M advise: communicate, communicate, and communicate. Very smart KH.