First off, I’ll admit, I did not read this thread in its entirety yet, I am a little pressed for time this evening. I made the same mistake that chastityat60 made a began reading it thinking it was a recent thread, and then found the date on page 4 and skipped to the end.
In the interest of not hijacking another thread nor creating an unnecessary new thread, I would like to ask for other members opinions on a concern of mine.
TLDR: How to keep from topping from the bottom when your significant other told you from the very beginning that, while she was more than willing, she may need help being a dominant/keyholder?
Backstory (More info in journey post, linked in signature):
My wife didn’t say no to being a keyholder when I introduced it to her a while back, but due to poor fitment and other things, it never took off. Roughly a month ago, she agreed to give it a serious try. I told her how important it was to me that she really treat this as a serious responsibility, and she has made sure to devote a tremendous effort into doing just that. It has really been amazing, and she has really shown how much she cares about me over the past few weeks. The original agreement was for a trial period until we went on a short trip we have planned for this upcoming weekend; the trip was a birthday present to me from her, and honestly probably the most meaningful gift she has gotten me in quite a while due to the thought I know she put into it! When we started, we laid out a few basic rules/agreements, and said that we would revisit and communicate more on it during/after the trip.
I have asked her a few times in the past few days whether or not she felt as if she wanted to keep going after this weekend. So far, she has said that she’ll tell me while we’re away (so hot because, before, she would never be able to keep a secret from me because she is typically not that type of person, I love the anticipation). The reason I first came up with and introduced this to her a few years ago, was that I realized I had a chronic masturbation issue, along with porn viewing, which were starting to become problems, and I felt as if they were affecting our relationship. After it didn’t really take off and go anywhere, I did not share this with her. About a week after her most recent willingness to treat this as a responsibility, once I saw how she was doing just that; I shared my issues with her. She was more forgiving of it than I could have ever asked for, and I owe her a tremendous amount of respect and dignity for that.
All of this leads me to the question I am having trouble answering from myself. How do I know if I am topping from the bottom? Also, if I feel as if I am, what can I do to help train myself not to?
No matter whether she chooses to continue this or not, I want to return the favor of her giving this an honest try with showing her respect and dignity. I realize that this question sounds sort of “duh” so while trying to word vomit as little as possible, I’ll give some back story as to why it is so hard for me. She told me when we first got started that she may completely forget either to lock, or to unlock me from time to time. In her words, she tends to go through life “existing” and not really paying a lot of attention to her surroundings, and she’s happy like that!

(I on the other hand am OCD and hyper aware of what is going on around me) From the beginning, she told me to feel free to remind her if I had been wearing it too long and she hadn’t mentioned it, or if she forgot to use it, and I felt as if I needed to wear it to feel like I was getting attention from her. Secondly, going from 1 (minimum) to 2 (many days) orgasms per day down to 1 (sometimes ruined, she is learning those. Not a pro yet because I still get some pleasure and “mood drop” but it’s certainly not a full one!) every few days is HARD. I have moments of weakness if she doesn’t have me locked and she isn’t around. So far I’ve been able to refrain from pleasuring myself, but I don’t know that I can keep that up in the future. I feel like the past week or so, I have really been asking too much of her and making way too many requests. Also though, in my defense, Aunt Flow came to visit and she felt like shit and didn’t feel like going above and beyond. Any help or advice would be appreciated, and if you feel so moved, feel free to address her, she knows I post here, and sometimes has found my posts and read them. If you do, I will make sure to share them with her. I have suggested her creating an account, but I’m not sure she is ready to do so.
Finally, if I have broken a protocol by hacking this thread, please feel free to delete/move post or whatever you need to do…