I finally understand "denial"

[Katesboytoy]

My KH and I have been in the chastity game on and off for a couple years. It's been a couple months since I was locked up last, but we decided to give Locktober a try for the first time. And being that she's been pretty vanilla, I asked that she steps up her game this lockup period (Thinking it'd be fun). Since we've met (~3 years ago), she's always let me grab her boobs and butt and play with them. In previous lockup periods, she could always tell I was throbbing and trying to get hard in my JB while doing so, and would just laugh at me and tell me to make her a drink.

This time though, she locks me up, and of course I go to play with her boobs later in the day, and she immediately grabs my hands to stop me and tells me that they are off limits for the whole month . I'm sure the veterans here will say this is a normal thing, but for me, this is torture. I've played with her lady lumps literally every day we've been together, if not to be intimate it's at least been a grab or quick squeeze.

Thinking of our history together, this is something she's never done in the 3 years we've been together, and the 2 years we've been playing with chastity. I was shocked and devastated and thought to myself I don't want to "play chastity" anymore if I can't even touch her. I've gotten used to not being able to touch myself, but she's always let me play with her, up until yesterday

I'm only 1 day into this locktober, and can't believe I have another 30 days of this.. This is about to be the longest month of my life

[Tom Allen]

I'm sure the veterans here will say this is a normal thing,

Nope, it's just you.

Seriously, we don't do that. Mrs Edge still enjoys that I am affectionate, give her a butt squeeze, or a neck kiss, or a quick feel. What she loves is that she is totally in control, and that me grinding on her butt for a minute doesn't make her feel pressured into hopping into bed.

[Chastityat60]

From what I read, there is about 20,000 ways to do chastity / denial. Enjoy the ride whatever it looks like !!

[lcckedbysue]

Perhaps one of the great things about Locktober is SHE can control it anyway SHE wants. There might be as many different dynamics out there as there are couples participating. To steal a line from the movie Apollo 13..."just breathe normal fellas"

[cuddlepuff]

Sounds like a discussion the two of you should have.

[SteveOD]

I used to go many months between orgasms for the last 11 years and now it is only ruined Orgasms. I an tell you what my wire did.

1. As with you, no touching her of naught bits.
2. Could not see her naked. During sex I wore a hood that covered my eyes. She got into CBT and nipple torture because my moans of pain turn her on.
3. During sex my hands were handcuffed or otherwise bounds so that I could not touch her.
4, Next came the noise cancelling headphones so I could not see, touch or hear her.
4. She only used a vibrator and never me for an orgasm. I have not penetrated her in over a decade and performed oral about 3 times
5. We went a step further and I was in another room listening to her orgasm in her bedroom for a few months.
6. After a few years of this she allowed me to see and touch her only during sex because each year we decided on what to do in the coming new year and I needed to see and touch her, but only during sex.
7. She wanted me to moan more so she got some very painful nipple clips and a ball clip that she can adjust the tightness to.
8. This year she had me buy Viagra and I have to take it before sex. I am either locked or not depending on her mood. If unlocked she teases me until I get erect, waits until it goes down and repeats.
9. Now I only get ruined orgasm where before got about 3-4 full orgasms a year.

We try to mix it up each year to keep it fresh, try new things and discard the things that no longer excite us. I am I a unique situation with my key holder wife. She is bi with a strong preference for sex with women as is my ex fiancé and ex girlfriend of 30 years. Bi girls love me for some reason. I think it is because they feel safe with me since I am very liberal about sex and sexuality. Heck, I lost my virginity to a gay male friend. My wife's theory is that one a woman has sex with me, they are turned off of men. Maybe she is right.

My point is that for us chastity is not about control. It is about finding a solution to our situation.

[Mr Pickle]

Yup. It's gotta work both ways.
In my experience. It starts off my way and slowly rotates until it is definitely the keyholders way. Which amazingly ends up being what I didn't realise I wanted in the first place.