a different route to chastity

[_lj_]

I'd appreciate your thoughts.

Coming from the BDSM background, my wife and I tried male chastity with varying success. The basic problem became her increasing dislike of having to maintain the D/s relationship in all matters, not just chastity. I was basically happy with being her submissive, but the D/s was becoming a challenge for her, and simply not working for both of us, so we stopped. I didn't help matters by"topping from the bottom" and asking for tease-and-denial, release at my choosing etc.

However, I get the recurring desire to experience long-term chastity (well, weeks and months) with her as my willing keyholder.

I came across some writings on a blog site "medium" by a lady called "ChastityPerkins" which suggested an approach to chastity that might work for us. She wanted to stop her husband continually wanting to do kinky play and chastity, and nagging her to do so, and proposed to him that she would indeed impose his chastity, entirely on her terms. Her terms were, put simply, that she would obtain a suitable device, and after establshing it was effective, lock him in it and maintain the lock-up until she chose to release him. Any mention of release, orgasm, or sexual play by him would result in a harsh punishment (not the "funishment" often found in BDSM play).

The intention was to remove almost all involvement by her in his chastity, therefore removing the D/s relationship except in the one area of chastity. Have any of you tried this approach? Or am I just missing something obvious?

re. a device, I have a JailBird, and whilst I may be able to partially escape (never tried) my wife and I regard it as effective. I wouldn't want to go down the urethral tube route used by Chastity Perkins to guarantee full effectiveness for safety and health reasons, and I very much doubt my wife would want me to.

[Bunny]

For me, a switch BD/SM relationship is rad. I love the feeling of being dominated, and I respect my partner’s desire to be the submissive. sometimes we’ll even switch in the middle of a scene. It’s pretty hot.

Partnership is about Give and take. A one-sided approach to Chastity denies a true partnership. Demanding she keep you locked up is an essentially topping from the bottom.

Here’s a suggestion for a scenario …
If you’re locked up, you can demand the key from her. She can decline, or struggle to keep it in her possession. Since you are locked up, she still has control over you. Essentially, topping from the bottom.

Bossy bottom.
It’s a tough position.

[_lj_]

Interesting viewpoint Bunny, that's what I'm asking for, so I can consider what I do next

The way I look at it, most men here have wanted to be in chastity and have asked their partners to enforce it, which is what I am after too. It is the way this is "enforced" that I am querying.

Clearly I won't be locked without my agreement, this isn't one of those fantasy scenarios. Also, I have the tools necessary to remove the JailBird, albeit with some care! again underlining this is not a fantasy of impossible removal.

The blogs I referred to detail "enforcing" chastity within a clear set of rules that preclude any input on my part, maintained by my wife with almost zero effort on her part. I get the impression that many here have a set of rules of some kind "enforcing" their chastity, it is just a matter of degree how far the enforcing goes.

In the BDSM world (of which I have a fairly wide experience) there is CNC - Consensual Non-Consent. A tricky concept to explain, but basically the submissive agrees that the Dominant can do what they like to the submissive, who gives their consent without knowing what will be done. It is an area requiring complete trust between the two. I suppose CNC is what the blogs involve and what I am looking for, within the closely defined area of chastity.

Just to comment specifically on what you have said - I'm no more "demanding" than any other man asking for chastity, the answer can be yes or no. I would accept the "no" to a demand for a key, physical struggle is not an option, howver part of the "rules" would invoke, at her decision, a punishment for breaking the "rules".

Incidentally, we are both, by nature, switches - it was just I wanted too much of the sub side, which asked too much of her.

[Chastityat60]

I recently read " it is you who is in chastity, for her it is just another day". My wife who is not on board yet with my chastity, knows I am committed to her only . I self lock as an extension of my wedding ring. I continue in it, hoping someday she will come around to taking an active role. Till then for her, it's just another day . There are a thousand different routes to chastity. One thing I have found here is the theme of taking your time. Let her have the time needed to understand what you are after.

[Hungry_Pete]

It's probably easier in a cuckold relationship.

The cage can stay on permanently since the wife doesn't need hubby's dick at all.
The cage never comes off so there is no need to talk about it.

[Tom Allen]

It's probably easier in a cuckold relationship.

There's something about this kink that draws in guys (it's always guys) that are so into their own fantasies that they constantly project those onto every question or situation that anyone else asks about, and the overwhelming majority of times that I see this, it's a cuck fantasy.

You've made two comment posts in this forum in six months. Both times, your comments were about cuckolding in threads which were completely out of context.

This may not be the right internet group for you.

[Naljeans]

We have a CNC relationship and are both into BDSM. However, relative to chastity, the rule is she has absolute authority as to whether and when I’m let out. There is no input from me, and accordingly does not always reflect what I want at any given moment. Sometimes it’s longer than I want, sometimes shorter. She really enjoys having that control, and that’s what I want most out of it, so it works perfectly for us. We’ve both enjoyed the changes that have come with my being caged.

[Schnoff]

There's something about this kink that draws in guys (it's always guys) that are so into their own fantasies.
...
This may not be the right internet group for you.

To point out the obvious: The guys are constantly horny, because denied, and so, yes, a little preoccupied with their fantasies.

I concur with your conclusion.

[TwistedMister]

It's probably easier in a cuckold relationship.

There's something about this kink that draws in guys (it's always guys) that are so into their own fantasies that they constantly project those onto every question or situation that anyone else asks about, and the overwhelming majority of times that I see this, it's a cuck fantasy.

You've made two comment posts in this forum in six months. Both times, your comments were about cuckolding in threads which were completely out of context.

As quick as I may be, at times, to 'jump' on someone [new] for being unrealistic, I have a contrary opinion- I don't think his comment was completely without validity.