Corrective Action & Being Broken

[michaelnmelissa]

Melissa took corrective action with me yesterday to head off a bad funk. It worked.

Some two weeks ago Melissa was especially in the mood. We were going at it every other day for several hours each day. Not that I came, mind you, but there was a lot of kinky fun.

I suppose I was a bit spoiled by it, because these past 10 days have been rather dry. I did bring her to orgasm with my fingers on Friday, but that's been all. There has been a lot of touching and caressing and holding one another, thankfully.

Yesterday she noticed I was quiet. It's the kind of quiet I get when the effects of being kept 24/7 begin looming bigger and bigger in my mind. I'm over 30 days now since my last orgasm and my next caged one won't be sometime until May or so. My next true one free from the cage won't be until sometime in August. This is the way she wants it. The fewer orgasms the better, she says, for me and for us. Yes, other couples have shorter cycles but we're not other couples.

What a cliche to say "be careful what you wish for" but it's a cliche because it's true. I begged her to lock my cock up so many months ago. She didn't know what a chastity device was and almost freaked out when she saw a picture of one. Now, she is fully invested in this way of life and is a firm keyholder. The thought of giving it up truly upsets her. She has no difficulty saying no to me. She loves me with all her heart, she says, and she especially loves the man that I am locked up.

Yesterday she was sore from the gym. I rubbed her down. I admit, I was hoping it would turn her on too. No such luck. Afterward, as we lay side by side on the bed with the cool breeze from the window, she told me how she could see me becoming quiet. Soon, she said, you're going to become sulky. Maybe even argumentative. I told her she was right, but that I was aware of it and was trying not to do that. She looked at me closely and then told me she wouldn't have it. Not this time.

She pulled off my boxer shorts and bent my knees back toward my chest. She took hold of my cage and lifted it toward my stomach so my balls were fully exposed. She then began slapping one then the other. Back and forth. Over and over. I immediately started to squirm and gasp and jerk my body. She held firm. Then she began smacking on them straight down, in the center of them, squishing them with each hit. My skin started stinging and that kind of sick feeling in my gut started creeping upward. I don't know how many times she smacked them, but it was a lot. Somehow I heard her saying something like I was to be good and not fuss and to wait for her on her time. There quickly came a point where I could not take any more and I cried out "you're in charge!" over and over. Then she stopped.

And then she rubbed my chest and told me again and again how she loved me and respected me and loved how we were together.

She did it. She broke me down and made me cry out for mercy. But it worked. The moodiness went away. Later last night we were lying in bed watching a movie. I realized how much I did not want to be corrected that way again. I know I won't fuss for anything anytime soon. She said that, from now on, when she sees my mood come over me she is going to immediately correct me in the same way. I can honestly say I don't want it, but I also know it worked.

She knows exactly what I need.

Michael

[kpb57]

I'd say you got what you wanted: her attention.

[michaelnmelissa]

Ha! I suppose that is true, isn't it? Not quite what I'd had in mind, but still...

Michael

[Atone]

There quickly came a point where I could not take any more and I cried out "you're in charge!" over and over. Then she stopped.

I want this. The idea of being "corrected" or "broken" gets me all hot and bothered. Thanks for sharing.

We have never done anything quite like this but I can relate to the feeling that you had being moody and a little sad that there is no action for whatever reason. I know that a good session with the paddle or cane can really snap me out of it. Not because I have been "broken" although that would be alright but because for me that is a very intimate act and it helps me connect with my wife. Ironically it has the opposite effect on my wife so we almost never have sexual contact after a caning or ball paddling. I just want to be all lovey and close afterward and she doesn't want anything to do with it. She does it for me *because* she loves me but doesn't feel at all loving during or after.

-A

[Celtic Queen]

Atone, possibly the reason for your wife's temporary withdrawal may be her coping mechanism meting out punishment and pain. It is very hard to switch emotions from the energies needed to inflict correction to then being loving and warm - or in more theatrical terms, moving from being your mistress to your wife. That is absolutely normal and quite healthy as these roles are very different and require wholly different emotions and energies. I find that role play and rituals help me keep both roles intact but separate. Have a look at the advice out there on "Domme Drop". Most people have heard of "sub drop" where a submissive feels wracked with guilt, shame etc after a scene but dominants can feel very negative emotions too and your reassurance is vitally important.

[kpb57]

... but because for me that is a very intimate act and it helps me connect with my wife.

From the "Flogging FAQ":
Flogging can be a powerful and loving act, top and bottom not separated by the flogger, but connected through it.

Ironically it has the opposite effect on my wife so we almost never have sexual contact after a caning or ball paddling. I just want to be all lovey and close afterward and she doesn't want anything to do with it. She does it for me *because* she loves me but doesn't feel at all loving during or after.

Maybe that's the effect of the "scene" not really being over, because you are still locked up.
That is probably another reason why my wife does not want me caged in bed (unless she is using the cage as a playtool); it is easier for her to be "loving", since any "game" is visibly "over" by this time.

K

[Atone]

Have a look at the advice out there on "Domme Drop".

CQ, I am sure you are correct. I will research "Domme Drop", never really thought about it from that perspective. To add even more complexity, she isn't really "Domme" so she doesn't usually even go in to that place. At the same time she does some times really get in to it and ends up there anyway. I think this is as difficult to deal with as switching back to "wife" mode.

I will try to continue to reassure her, this advice (and a little more research) will undoubtedly help me do that.

-A

[Atone]

Maybe that's the effect of the "scene" not really being over, because you are still locked up.

This actually precedes our use of chastity and OD in our relationship. Usually in the past I would be allowed to masturbate afterward. Even though we didn't do OD I always asked for permission to orgasm, I think she always said yes though.

In some ways being locked up helps, it allows her to be comfortable just saying no and not feel obligated to try to do something.

-A

[celticqueens_sub]

Have a look at the advice out there on "Domme Drop".

CQ, I am sure you are correct. I will research "Domme Drop", never really thought about it from that perspective.

I will try to continue to reassure her, this advice (and a little more research) will undoubtedly help me do that.

-A

Atone, from a subs point of view... and I appreciate that CQ and I have a D/s relationship and this may not be your dynamic in quite the same way as for us, but CQ used to find it hard to punish me as she felt guilt at hurting her husband rather than her sub. She has to be my Mistress during these sessions, not my Wife, but the real world.. she IS my wife. this means that when she feels the need to punish me she always explains why I am being punished then carries out the punishment.

On a few occassions she has 'broken' me when she has felt that is required, then she builds me back to what she wants. It really is an effort for her physically and emotionally, there is a lot of powerful emotions on both sides during these sessions. After she absolutely needs me to reassure her of my love and my commitment to our FLR life.

We will cuddle, rarely do we make love in the pure sense of the word, but I will caress her and perhaps make her a coffee or tea, anything that shows my love and devotion. it is a truly complex area and each couple I am sure will have to find their own mechanism for making it work.

We have been lucky to find one that works for us, basically it is:

• Her explanation of why she feels I need punishment
  My acceptance and admission of wrong doing
  The actual punishment
  Both accpeting the incident is dealt with and moving on
  Mutual re-assurance of our love and life together

Hope this helps

[L&N]

K and I don't practice discipline sessions such as you have described here. Our spanking sessions are with two motivations. One is kinky stimulating playfulness and the other is with demonstration of love and care for my heart. K can tell when I am suffering emotionally from past or present hurts. We have found that through her ever so carefully spanking, with lovingness, that she can break throughout my walls and comfort me, with me crying in her arms. Afterward, I'm good to go and back to my usual loving self. The spanking has become a powerful tool for lovingly, kindly, helping me to join up with her emotionally, especially when I have been hurt by her.

However the kinky sessions also help me find even deeper bonds with her. Spanking has now become a part of our love with each other....a way to express love for each other.