Is chastity domination ?

[ChastityNoob]

The way I see it, any time you give control over some aspect of your life to another person, that's a form of domination/submission. The question here is whether you get off on the power exchange or simply use it as a means to some other end. Personally, I get off on the D/s aspect and it's difficult for me to understand why someone who doesn't would enjoy chastity, but I also understand that other people don't get the appeal of being dominated. It's just the innate nature of sexuality. You do what works for you, but the point is that you don't have to specifically get off on D/s to engage in it.

Simply put, if you are locking your cock and handing they keys to a partner, you are engaging in a form of BDSM. No, it's not necessarily the dark, leather/latex, groveling-worm-male world that's portrayed in internet porn (and you might have zero interest in that), but that's hardly a complete representation of what BDSM is.

BDSM:
Bondage and Discipline
Domination and Submission
Sadism and Masochism

Just think about those terms and you'll realize that BDSM is a pretty broad category. Under that umbrella you'll find tons of kinks, plenty of motivations for engaging, and an almost infinite number of ways to play. They're like snowflakes... Each one is unique.

Think about those terms some more and you'll also realize that any of them can be applicable to chastity. Bondage should be self-explanatory. Discipline... Your partner could keep you locked up as a form of punishment or behavior control. D/s? I think we have that covered. Sadism/masochism is a little less obvious, but there are certainly scenarios where one or both partners might enjoy the pain aspect of it.

I don't think it matters whether all of those things interest you (or your partner) - I've met very few people in the BDSM scene who are into everything - but at the end of the day, chastity is a form of power exchange at it's core and that's BDSM to me any way you slice it. Honestly, I think a lot of people just enjoy D/s on a much more subtle level than your typical femdom porn and have a hard time reconciling their experiences with an over-the-top fantasy.

None of it really matters. You do you and don't be overly concerned with labels.

[jfenoffti]

It's not punishment or part of a major power exchange. It's something I like, for various reasons, and she accepts -- sometimes more than others. I am the head of the household, she is the neck that turns the head. I buy the cars and real estate, she decides when she wants sex. We both do whatever it takes to raise the family, pay the bills, keep the house clean, the dog watered, the hermit crab fed, put salt in the water softner brine tank, etc. We equally share the responsibilities for everything although we each have areas that we are the primary responsible party.

[XKB8R]

I don't think chastity necessarily has to be accompanied by any other D/s variety of play, but to me there's no doubt that giving up freedom of access to your most intimate and private anatomical parts constitutes some level of power exchange, and on the submissive end of the spectrum.

To put it into perspective, how many Doms do you suppose are kept in chastity?

[VinnyDee]

My wife is an old fashioned submissive wife from the old days. We had ended a 3 1/2 year period of chastity play a few months ago but restarted today. While into our chastity lifestyle she became more dominant but only in a few areas like sex and chores. Although she tried, I knew that I could re-establish dominance anytime I want to. I am a big ex combat, ex jock alpha dog and am not submissive at all. However, I am never dominated, I submit. So I submit to my wife when in chastity but am not naturally submissive outside of the chastity play.

We make it work. I do not want a D/s lifestyle and neither does my wife. She says she does not want a slave for a husband. She wants a man that makes her feel safe and protected and being too submissive to her does not make her feel that way. We tried all the normal things like me wearing panties and even bras. My wife has a nice whip collection for when we were into domestic discipline. Even tried forced feminization. Although they were all fun for a few months, we never really got into them. I could care less when wearing panties so there was no sexual thrill of humiliation or whatever when I did. I liked the domestic discipline since I am a sexual masochist whom my wife's girlfriend used to beat as foreplay. My wife cannot hurt me without feeling bad about it, so it was not at a level that I was used to so we stopped that too. In short, we tried all the D/s things but the only thing we ended up with was me massaging her on demand and cleaning the dishes after dinner. That was it.

I made peace with this. I do like to be sexually submissive and in the bedroom she is in complete control, but outside of it we just go on as we used to with me leading the marriage but always considering my wife's wants in the decisions I made. I want to please her and she wants to please me so it works like that. If I had to describe it I would say that my wife is the Mistress of the house. She has final say on all household related things including the sex that goes on inside of it. Outside of that I am in charge. I earn the money handling the investments, etc..

We love each other and quite frankly got chastity to work for us when we removed it from our non sexual lives. I can be the dominant one for days and then my wife will order me to massage her feet and we go into out chastity roles. We basically drift in and out of sexual roles as the mood strikes us but we are aware that they are just roles, not who we really are. As a long time BDSM player, over 45 years, 24/7 D/s does not work for most. It is exciting at first but then there are days when you just do not feel like being a slave or told what to do all the time. Most people are not going to be a slave to anyone forever unless there are some psychological reasons for it. So viewing it as roles and going into and out of those roles when both feel like it, will work. It worked for me for decades. I would be whipped, have my balls kicked and punched, choked and much more with my old Mistress but once we left the bedroom we were just lovers and equals again.

[Tom Allen]

Is "stealth submission" the same as being dominated? A while back there were several blogs by guys who advocated *acting* as if your wife were dominating you by treating everything she said as an order. It might start off as fun, but most of those guys didn't get anything out of it as time went on.

Mrs Edge does not self-identify as dominant. She doesn't consider chastity play to be BDSM. She sees it more as containing or taming an animal, much in the way that some women enjoy horseback riding.

DS is more of a mindset, once you get out of the leather and chains scene.

[Bird in a Cage]

I tried a chastity device because I was desperate to stop masturbating.

+1

[XKB8R]

Mrs Edge does not self-identify as dominant. She doesn't consider chastity play to be BDSM. She sees it more as containing or taming an animal, much in the way that some women enjoy horseback riding.

DS is more of a mindset, once you get out of the leather and chains scene.

Oh, I dunno. Google images for "lion tamer costume". Boots and a whip seem pretty much standard...

[TwistedMister]

Mrs Edge does not self-identify as dominant. She doesn't consider chastity play to be BDSM. She sees it more as containing or taming an animal, much in the way that some women enjoy horseback riding.

DS is more of a mindset, once you get out of the leather and chains scene.

Oh, I dunno. Google images for "lion tamer costume". Boots and a whip seem pretty much standard...

I have a neighbor that does 'English' style riding- tight pants, boots, riding crop...I think she rides her husband the same way...

[Shepherdsflock]

As I stated before, I got into chastity to stop masturbating. However, the reason my wife ended up liking it and eventually demanding permanent chastity, is because it makes her feel safe and secure. Intercourse has always been painful for her, and she feels very threatened by erections and the potential for penetration. Knowing that I can't have erections or penetrate her makes her feel safe enough to enjoy sex.

Chastity is voluntary on my part, and she sees it as her husband being strong and protecting her.