New to chastity, and have questions.

[chastesubnz]

I have been experimenting with male chastity as it is one of my fetishes and my partner has expressed an interest in controlling my orgasms.
I have encountered two problems that don't seem to be solved with a simple google search:

1: I found a device that was comfortable enough to wear (I had to increase the ring size to stop it hurting my balls during the day) however it woke me up 6 times when I attempted to wear it at night. Nightly errections caused a variety of different kind of pain, pain from cock straining in cage, burning in skin of the scrotum, and aching of the balls from the straining cage. Is there any way at all for chastity to not be painful at night?

2: I recently discovered that if I pull the cage forward, I am then able to grab the back of my cock and pull it out. I need a non painful way of making sure the cage is as secure as possible. My fetish is to be UNABLE to jerk off, not simply devoted to it. Also that is what interests my partner, the ability to control. This may be because I increased the ring size, but dropping it back down will make it hurt during the day.

So in summary, I want to know how a device can be as secure as possible without being painful.

[Tom Allen]

So in summary, I want to know how a device can be as secure as possible without being painful.

https://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/2010/ ... css-scale/

And just because I'm in that kind of mood today:

https://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/2014/ ... restraint/

[Shepherdsflock]

If you are pulling yourself out, why are you bothering with chastity devices? I know I could pull myself out of my Holy Trainer (I did it on purpose once to clean when I didn't have the key), but I don't WANT to be unlocked unless my wife wants me unlocked. That's kind of the point. When you give your wife the key, you treat your penis as no longer belonging to you. It's not yours to pull out of the chastity device.

If you view a chastity device as simply a masturbation challenge to be overcome, you should probably consider some other kind of sex play. You'll get tired of chastity real quick if your heart is not set on it.

[chasteboi]

If you are pulling yourself out, why are you bothering with chastity devices? I know I could pull myself out of my Holy Trainer (I did it on purpose once to clean when I didn't have the key), but I don't WANT to be unlocked unless my wife wants me unlocked. That's kind of the point. When you give your wife the key, you treat your penis as no longer belonging to you. It's not yours to pull out of the chastity device.

If you view a chastity device as simply a masturbation challenge to be overcome, you should probably consider some other kind of sex play. You'll get tired of chastity real quick if your heart is not set on it.

With respect, it follows from your argument that if you can get out but don't try, you might as well be on the honor item and not bother with a device at all. I am with the OP here...

[Tom Allen]

... and since it's been a while since we've had this argument, I'm just going to leave this here for your consideration:

https://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/2010/ ... nsibility/

[Shepherdsflock]

With respect, it follows from your argument that if you can get out but don't try, you might as well be on the honor item and not bother with a device at all. I am with the OP here...

I find the cage to be a strong deterrent in moments of temptation. I'm not tempted to pull out when flaccid. It's when I'm hard and want to masturbate that the cage keeps me from doing anything. I can't pull out if I'm hard.

Plus, if you want to read my thread in the "journey" forum, you can read about how the cage is now primarily for my wife's pleasure. It still keeps me from masturbating, but my wife had taken quite a liking to it recently and told me she wants me locked every time we make love. So, it is now as much to please her as it is to keep me from masturbating. She isn't really interested in the honor system, she wants me locked so I have zero chance at penetration without her say so. If I'm unlocked we both veer too easily toward letting me initiate intercourse and she doesn't want that.

[TwistedMister]

If you are pulling yourself out, why are you bothering with chastity devices? I know I could pull myself out of my Holy Trainer (I did it on purpose once to clean when I didn't have the key), but I don't WANT to be unlocked unless my wife wants me unlocked. That's kind of the point. When you give your wife the key, you treat your penis as no longer belonging to you. It's not yours to pull out of the chastity device.

If you view a chastity device as simply a masturbation challenge to be overcome, you should probably consider some other kind of sex play. You'll get tired of chastity real quick if your heart is not set on it.

Once again we have the difference of can't vs. won't.

For some [of us], the Holy Grail is *can't*. We don't want to have to make a 'choice'. Having a choice implies some measure of control, which is the exact element we want removed.

Your way is fine if it works for you, but someone else wanting it a different way is not 'wrong'.

[Shepherdsflock]

True.

[Tom Allen]

Once again we have the difference of can't vs. won't.

For some [of us], the Holy Grail is *can't*. We don't want to have to make a 'choice'. Having a choice implies some measure of control, which is the exact element we want removed.

I can't stress how much not understanding the difference between these two causes problems, not just in discussion boards, but in one's relationship. We've seen here a few times that some of the guys finally get their partners on board to try it, and then discover that they can pull out, or can orgasm in the device - and then it kills the mood for everyone because they had the idea that a device would make it impossible.

[mellyshubby]

When my wife saw that I could back out of my device, she was dismayed. Since we started using our ribbon technique, she feels much more in control knowing that I can't get out without her knowing. It is similar to the wax seal that kings used when sending a note with a messenger. It makes it more fun for me too knowing that I really CAN NOT escape undetected.