how long ?

[_lj_]

About a year ago my wife developed a health issue, now happily resolved, but it meant she lost any desire for sexual activity so our active sex life declined to zero, causing me considerable frustration. We had been using chastity as part of our D/s relationship, and I suggested I wear the JailBIrd whenever we were together. I know that sounds back-to-front but the issue wasn't masturbation, but being locked helped me cope with the absence of sex by reminding me that it wasn't for me to initiate anything.

It is taking some time for my wife's libido to return, and I have now suggested that it would not be fair for me to have any sexual relief (by masturbation) until she is happy to re-start our mutually enjoyable sex life (which she does want!). There is little liklihood of her initiating "edging" and "ruined orgasms" as she is simply not focussed on sex at the moment, and me nagging about it has been the cause of stressed discussions and why I want to change.

So I am now locked 24/7, for an unknown period of time, largely at my own instigation. My wife is happy that I should do this.

The question I pose is this, how long might it be before my brain and body learn to accept that it really is up to her when we return to a sexually active life together?

I know we are all different, but some idea, days/weeks/months would be helpful. The longest time I have been continuously locked is 14 days, although the "part-time" daily chastity has been in force for several months

[Gwyidion]

I'm not certain that will ever occur.

Your hormones (everyone's, excepting medical conditions) drive you to reproduce. It is literally the only reason you exist (eating is just to keep the body alive while your germ line cells can find their friends).

Your situation is difficult. I don't think I would recommend waiting around for your hormones to decide to pack it up.

[knighterrant]

The question I pose is this, how long might it be before my brain and body learn to accept that it really is up to her when we return to a sexually active life together?

It is good to know her health has returned and your purpose seems noble. I think your question even in absence of circumstance aims at the heart of the use of a chastity device. You may have a leg up in that you mention masturbation wasn't an issue in your chastity life. I suppose the reason I use a chastity device at all, is that my brain and body cannot accept her sexual dominance verbatim, there must be barriers and disciplinary actions to enforce my behavior. So, I don't think I will ever get there myself.

It seems many develop a great affinity for the high of denial. Perhaps that is the holy grail here.

[lockedsteve]

I started chastity prior to my wife's major surgery too. We just finished year two or will have at the stroke of midnight. We tried having a target date, or basing it on a holiday but in the end it did not work out as well as we liked because it took the full control away from my wife.

Although a month seems to be the most popular, we just wing it. My wife will let me cum if she sees signs or emotional or mental distress. She will make me orgasm if she gets caught up in her own orgasm and needs mine to trigger hers. I can go 2 weeks or 3 months. Most times I orgasm unexpectedly and that is what she likes to do the most. So for us, it depends on my wife's whim or how well I am handling my denial.

[DLsKnight]

The question I pose is this, how long might it be before my brain and body learn to accept that it really is up to her when we return to a sexually active life together?

It seems many develop a great affinity for the high of denial. Perhaps that is the holy grail here.

I am one of those who like the high of denial. My wife has gotten into long term orgasm denial for me and I have adjusted quite well and even prefer being denied now. I am now at 14 and a half months, yes I keep count .
My brain and body accepted it early on as that is what she wanted and I was determined to meet her desires as we do have a wife led marriage.