how to get your gf to chastity you.

[Grizzly228]

My girlfriend is not into chastity devices. I started by telling her I like the feeling of not cumming every time because when I do the sensation is a lot stronger. She was still skeptical until she realized if I did not cum I could pleasure her for hours. After the first two sessions where she came about 7 times each she was sold and embraced it more and more since.

We still talk about the cages occasionally (I have three cheap ones) and have worn them when she's not around but she does feel disconnected when I'm wearing them around her. I figure I am very fortunate to find someone that embraces orgasm denial and teasing as much as she does so I don't push it with the chastity device. And frankly for me the key is the denial and gaining her permission to cum so I am happy with the current situation.

[newtochast57]

Unfortunately there is no one method on how to approach your girlfriend with the idea of chastity. What it comes down to is how well you know your girlfriend and taking what you learn from researching the internet, including this site and numerous on line blogs to get as many ideas as you can and then try to figure out what will work best for you to approach your girlfriend.

What worked for me was I did up a long letter which talked about our relationship and our communication with each other (we have been married 30+ years). In the letter I concentrated on my desires to improve both our relationship and communications with each other and suggested “chastity” as something we could try to improve both our personal relationship as well as our sexual relationship. I also did up a contract, subject to her input with a 3 month trial period and her option to extend it to one year.

I also bookmarked the various blogs and forums on the internet I felt might be useful for her to read, so that she did not have to start to search from scratch like I did.

There are also numerous ebooks available thru the internet, some for free, most for $10.00 or less.

Lady M wrote:
These are the books I recommend to new or potential Keyholders

http://wp.me/p43vCr-au

I would recommend the same books as the ones on Lady M’s blog. The only book on that list I do not have is Sarah Jameson’s book, “Be careful what you wish for”. I would love to read it however with all the info that is available I’m not going to spend $80.00 for it. With all the other books on this list you have to read them with an open mind. There is likely topics within these books that may go beyond what you or your girlfriend might be interested in, however there is some good information and ideas in all of them that hopefully will be helpful to both of you.

Just a final note for Lady M. I got $10.00 burning a hole in my wallet waiting for your book to come out. Okay maybe it’s a $20.00 bill but that is my final offer.

[Michele]

Unfortunately there is no one method on how to approach your girlfriend with the idea of chastity.

You're right - someone else just asked me this question on the blog and outs so hard to answer but I'm working on writing a post to cover some basics and give ideas.

Just a final note for Lady M. I got $10.00 burning a hole in my wallet waiting for your book to come out. Okay maybe it’s a $20.00 bill but that is my final offer.

Haha you are so funny... Which book would this be? The "Married w/Children and Male Chastity" or "Lady M's Teasing Techniques"? Haha

[TwistedMister]

I'm working on writing a post to cover some basics and give ideas.

I think that a good method is to not approach it directly, suddenly coming out with "I want you to lock my dick in a cage" may be a bit of a shock...especially if there has not been much in the way of kinky explorations already. Better to start with something less threatening, like simply introducing the idea of a long(ish) teasing session using oral and hands- let her become comfortable with the idea of her teasing but not inducing orgasm until *she* wants to. At that stage the guy and the girl are simply having fun with giving extended pleasure, a non-threatening game that gently introduces the concept of her being in control of when orgasm occurs. He enjoys the pleasure of her teasing and she has fun doing it.

Then, gradually introduce additional concepts like "Hey, maybe it would be fun if you tied my hands to the bedposts so that I can't grab your head" which would give her slightly more control. Then, perhaps the idea of him pleasuring her while restrained like that, in the '69' position where she can still tease him, but she does not induce his orgasm until she has been satisfied. This allows her to become comfortable with the idea of being 'in control' and delaying his pleasure/orgasm until *she* has been satisfied.

I think that many women enjoy being a bit of a 'tease'- starting with dressing 'sexy' and flirting in order to attract attention and induce arousal (even if they aren't consciously aware that that is what they are doing). This method takes advantage of that natural inclination and extends it, a fun 'game' that they both enjoy (for different reasons) that is completely non-threatening and isn't too 'weird'.

After experimenting with this for a while, and assuming that she enjoys the 'game', he can move to a soft introduction of toys/devices- initially nothing more than perhaps a leather snap-strap around his cock and balls to 'enhance' his erection and the sensations she is giving him. Once that has been successfully incorporated, move on to a gradual progression toward more complex devices/toys such as the 'gates of hell', a 'stallion guard', etc. and concepts that extend her control and allow her to enjoy pleasure with the ideas of her being able to enjoy receiving pleasure while delaying his for longer durations, and perhaps the addition of certain 'requirements' that he must fulfill before she 'allows' him orgasm.

Again assuming that she enjoys this type of play, the progression toward, and introduction of, a 'real' chastity device and additional concepts of her being 'in control' of his orgasms for longer durations while she receives pleasure 'on demand' and delays/denies his becomes a relatively simple matter. Additional elements/concepts of the woman being 'in control' may be introduced or may even appear naturally from her. At some point, depending on her personality and affinity for this type of 'play', she may even begin taking the lead on her own.

Of course, there can be many variations in exactly how and what occurs at what point, and this assumes a great deal of communication and reinforcement that he enjoys what she is doing and enjoys pleasuring her while having his own gratification delayed. Much of the variation will depend on the partners and what level of explorations they may have already accomplished, and their knowledge of 'kink'.

This approach is much like building a fire- you generally can't just take a match to a tree and expect it to burn, you first get some tinder and kindling and ignite it, building a small fire, then gradually add larger sticks and coax the flame to burn bigger, until it gets to what you want it to be...and at some point that fire may take on a life of its own and feed itself...