Chastity and PTSD

[GayBear]

Hi all. First "real" post here. This topic is the reason I joined in the first place.

I suffer from severe and chronic PTSD. For those who dont know: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Mostly know as the soldier illness, it can be caused by all traumatic experiences. I got it because the first 20 years of my life were full of trauma and abuse from changing "caregivers" and horrible events.

For months now I am in the process of getting my life back and fulfilling my dreams and becoming the person I want to be. It is difficult and rewarding.

Long term chastity is one of those dreams I want to achieve and work for.
I joined this board specifically to talk about ptsd & chastity. Do any off you have any experience with it or similiar problems? Do you think mental illness and chastity can work together?

So far my husbear and me had experimented alot, unsuccesfully, with chastity. That was before I understood PTSD. My ever changing mental states made me unable to the long term commitment of chastity. Now I want long term commitment. I feel they are my next step in getting better. They make me feel good, and I crave everything stable and reliable in my life. Now that I understand symptoms I feel much better equipped to understand my changing and conflicting emotions. In the past chastity often ended because I became very depressed and panicky, unrelated to chastity, and was craving anything that would give release to the symptoms. Alcohol, cigarettes, junk food, masturbation, etc. I have been smoke free for 4 months now, from a pack a day. I feel ready now to try again.

I am also afraid, that chastity causes stress. I do not handle stress very well. Do you think long term chastity can be done without alot of negative stress? I crave chastity, but if it worsens my symptoms I have to let it go.

Our agreement now is that I dont stimulate my genitals or (very very sensitive and errogen) nipples in any way. I do not desire a chastity cage, I desire hands & device free chastity. It makes me feel good. Chastity in generell makes me feel very good. Healthy, manly, disiplined and perverted. It just makes me very happy to be horny and the post orgasm drop feels brutal to me. Going one week now. Yesterday was a very bad day for me, but I did not break chastity, which was a first and makes me feel very empowered today.

Do you think an unstable person, working on his mental health, should engage in chastity play?

So, yeah, I hope I can get a discussion going here. I could fill this post with so much more information and questions, but then nobody will read.

[Grizzly228]

I commend your openness and sharing with us. I do not suffer from PTsd but do have high anxiety and occasional depression. It does add a new element of challenge when dealing with mental or emotional issues and chastity at the same time. I have ended a number of streaks due to depression and anxiety. My word of advice would be to not use it as an excuse to end your chastity but If you truly feel it is hurting you emotionally to stop temporarily. And maybe most importantly do not beat yourself up over it. Just accept it and try again when calmer. I have been using this approach with my girlfriend lately an it has been much more fulfilling and I feel more connected and open with her as it brings up a lot of emotions and talking points. Good luck! Wishing you the best.

[Locked by LRC]

... It just makes me very happy to be horny and the post orgasm drop feels brutal to me. Going one week now. Yesterday was a very bad day for me, but I did not break chastity, which was a first and makes me feel very empowered today.

Do you think an unstable person, working on his mental health, should engage in chastity play?

Welcome to the forum GayBear. Keep in mind we're not professionals, just giving thoughts from our life's experiences. I realize sometimes just talking about something can be therapeutic.

Your comment about the post orgasm drop is very common. The tension of the sexual high of denial seems to bring this on. When I've gone a while without an orgasm it's all I want. Then when it happens I regret it. Getting back the desperate feeling as soon as possible is what I desire. It took me a couple of years but I've found I'm happiest when I'm desperate. It took longer for LRC to understand and embrace this.

Even though you didn't explicitly state it, it sounds like your husbear is helpful. If it true, that can be the best thing for your chastity experience. Perhaps you will find that stoking and edging places you in the mental state you desire. When doing this though you can't control the urge for orgasm. This would be a great time for husbear to help you, and he may enjoy it also.

I leave my strongest suggestion for last. Search out a professional to talk with. At the first meeting bring up the chastity and how you feel it helps. If they seem uncomfortable, find another. I feel a good professional should be able to assist with your problem. If chastity is helping you, I would hope they would be able to work this into the therapy.

[Narcissus]

I can understand your concerns, but speaking from a similar experience, maybe this will help you some. Starting a few years back, I began to develop a wide variety of emotions that felt out of control. It became increasingly bad and started to have a very negative impact on my life. I lost motivation to do a lot of things that I enjoy and went into a depression-like state. All of this put a serious strain on my relationship with constant fighting and lack of motivation to make it work. Getting into chastity was probably the best thing to remedy the issue. It helped build a higher level of trust between my keyholder and I. Also, it gives me a feeling of worth, accomplishment, confidence, and motivation knowing that everyday when I wake up, I have a very specific goal to keep my keyholder happy and satisfied. Receiving the rewards such as words of encouragement, compliments, and obviously release, gives me a feeling of reward like no other. This achievement makes me want to do other things in life and have the confidence to do so.

[GayBear]

I have ended a number of streaks due to depression and anxiety. My word of advice would be to not use it as an excuse to end your chastity but If you truly feel it is hurting you emotionally to stop temporarily. And maybe most importantly do not beat yourself up over it. Just accept it and try again when calmer.

Thank you, that is good advice. In the past the pressure was too much sometimes, so we do not set ourselves anything but short term goals any more. When I felt very bad the thought of "2 more months" was not really processable by my mind and made me feel worse.
Now it is a week at the time. My "unspoken" goal right now is to remain in chastity for half a year but my husbear only keeps my in chastity for one week at the time. I will get a chance of release every weekend or every other and have to beg to not get an orgasm by his hands.
This is to give me some more controll, take preassure from him, and make me feel like a perverted beast, which is the goal. It is basically "Let me show you how much I love you by staying in chastity as long as I can." It feels a bit like a competitive game. In the past we set longer goals, and it did not work for me. The pressure was too much and I did not feel progress after the first weeks. Now, every day feels much more of a success and it is not so overwhelming anymore. I have the fantasy of going for one year and still begging to not cum, and thanking him profoundly if he allows it to continue. The lack of pressure and the more easily acchievable goals make a world of difference to me. I also do not feel like I will dissapoint him if I cannot manage, which is nice.

Your comment about the post orgasm drop is very common. The tension of the sexual high of denial seems to bring this on. When I've gone a while without an orgasm it's all I want. Then when it happens I regret it.

I feel like my symptoms can get very, very bad with the post orgasm drop. As if I found a working medication for ptsd (there is not really such a thing) and then stopped taking it. It is really bad.

Getting back the desperate feeling as soon as possible is what I desire. It took me a couple of years but I've found I'm happiest when I'm desperate. It took longer for LRC to understand and embrace this.

I really love what you said there. I will tell my husbear when he comes home. That is the best way I have seen the allure of chastity put. "Honey, I am happiest when I am desperate. Please make me desperate. I want to be desperate for you." This will help him alot I believe, as he sometimes has moments of feeling guilty. Thanks!

Perhaps you will find that stoking and edging places you in the mental state you desire. When doing this though you can't control the urge for orgasm. This would be a great time for husbear to help you, and he may enjoy it also

Yes, that is all true. When he tells me I would be allowed to cum that day, we talk about it before he touches me in anyway, so that I can have some semblence of clear mind and really know if I want to continue or not. Once touching beginns, I get crazy. Our "So, orgasm today?" talk we try the best to be unsexy and unfunny and rational. I hope to suprise him alot by asking for extension month after month.

I leave my strongest suggestion for last. Search out a professional to talk with. At the first meeting bring up the chastity and how you feel it helps. If they seem uncomfortable, find another. I feel a good professional should be able to assist with your problem. If chastity is helping you, I would hope they would be able to work this into the therapy.

I never thought about this. Well, of course I am actively looking for professional therapy, which takes so so long, but talking about chastity? I have to think long and hard about this. Thanks for bringing it up!

Getting into chastity was probably the best thing to remedy the issue. It helped build a higher level of trust between my keyholder and I. Also, it gives me a feeling of worth, accomplishment, confidence, and motivation knowing that everyday when I wake up, I have a very specific goal to keep my keyholder happy and satisfied. Receiving the rewards such as words of encouragement, compliments, and obviously release, gives me a feeling of reward like no other. This achievement makes me want to do other things in life and have the confidence to do so.

This is amazing to hear, thanks! I also felt like this in the past, but it also simetimes went sideways. I hope now, which greater understanding, I can keep it up. (haha) Reading your post really made me feel optimistic about chastity and mental issues.

Thanks alot for the amazing input! It feels very good to write about chastity here. I wonder if I should create a journal or something similar. Chastity really is a time consuming hobby, and I love it.

Yesterday evening we had a success. I felt extremely panicky and anxious when my husbear came home, and we cuddled. Cuddling turned to teasing, and lo and behold, I felt extremely well the rest of the day. Calm and happy and focused. I have a extremely hard time calming down and relaxing, and yesterday it just happened. It was amazing.

[Michele]

I'm not going to write some long profound thing other than to say I totally think chastity has been a huge help in continuing the work my husband does to make himself mentally healthier. He has depression, anxiety and other mental issues that cause him challenges. Before chastity his dick brain got in the way a lot of the time and he wasn't focusing on what he should be. Once he gave me control of that part and was locked in a device, he no longer had to put any focus on that, I did that and he could focus on getting his mind more healthy. That way he could be the husband and partner I need and want.

Hope that helps!

[Locked by LRC]

...Before chastity his dick brain got in the way a lot of the time and he wasn't focusing on what he should be.

YES!!!

[Locked by LRC]

I read somewhere about there being kink friendly therapists. The writer stated it made them more comfortable talking about their kink without feeling judged.

A quick Google search brought up this directory. It's for US based therapists. I noticed down the list there was listing for other countries. Not sure if there's any in your area, maybe this will be a start. https://ncsfreedom.org/resources/kink-a ... epage.html

[GayBear]

Hope that helps!

Thank you. It does, its encouraging!...

...Before chastity his dick brain got in the way a lot of the time and he wasn't focusing on what he should be.

YES!!!

.. but this is not working for me. I guess chastity is alot about interpretation, isnt it? That why for some guys it feels emasculating and for others it can be, how to say?, masculating? Is that a word? I feel a bit different. I want my dick to be in charge of me. My dick wants me to eat healthy, work out, be good and be longterm chastee in the first place.

[Michele]

.. but this is not working for me. I guess chastity is alot about interpretation, isnt it? That why for some guys it feels emasculating and for others it can be, how to say?, masculating? Is that a word? I feel a bit different. I want my dick to be in charge of me. My dick wants me to eat healthy, work out, be good and be longterm chastee in the first place.

This is where a GREAT keyholder comes in handy!! I am the type of keyholder where I work with my subs on their flaws and we work on tasks and things that improve behavior, appearance and just to better themselves in general - thats being a good keyholder in my opinion.

You see - the locked boy is still NOT in charge of his penis and the penis is not in charge of him - the keyholder/dominant is though. This leaves the boy able to focus on his mental health and other areas of life where he may be lacking.