Punishment or reward?

[fuzzydunlop]

There are a lot of good blogs discussing this and similar topics (thank you Dev and Tom, for example). My wife and I had an interesting talk on the weekend. We are both trying to shed a few winter pounds. She suggested I could have an orgasm every few pounds. We tried this a few summers ago, and it worked. However, I had to fess up that MC IS a treat for me, and I don't want sex as currency. Instead, we agreed on a new devicer after I lose a certain amount of pounds. Things work best when we set common goals and work on things together.

[Tom Allen]

Good for you! Too often people see MC as a punishment device, and not as a rewarding relationship enhancer.

As for me, I just wanted to be the hottest looking 50-something year old on my block; orgasms had nothing to do with it. Which reminds me, my winter break is almost over, and it's time to get back into the gym.

[fuzzydunlop]

Thanks. I try not to be passive aggressive, but this did give me a chance to fish on her thoughts as to an appropriate waiting time. She thought it would take 2-3 weeks to lose 5 pounds in a steady and healthy manner (healthy diet and regular exercise).

[Dev]

I have a real problem with using sex as a punishment. In fact, I have a real problem with punishment as a behavior-changer or motivator. I am much more of a carrot (as opposed to a stick) person. This is one of the reasons that some of the femdom stuff with their elaborate programs of training and retraining, much of it around sexual behaviors, including chastity, makes my skin crawl. Yes, I know it's their kink and all that, but so much of it flies in the face of what I believe about human nature and people (at least the people I hang around with) that it is not erotic or hot to me. Some of the stuff is downright abusive, IMHO. But that's me and I digress.

Anyway, TCS, good luck on the weight loss and having an orgasm when you've lost 5 pounds sounds like a fabulous reward -- much better than the bowl of ice cream I always wanted to treat myself to when I reached a weight loss milestone.

D

[janken]

That's good news tcs! Glad to hear you can work together and yes, MC is a reward

[poor]

Chatelaine casually mentioned that she'd been told 'aversion therapy' was most effective immediately after orgasm. I replied that I'd hate to be spanked when my balls were empty as it would be hard to sexualise the sensation but I don't know if that is what she is planning.

As she said it less than an hour after bringing me to orgasm but taking no further action I put it down to a mind-fuck (which she loves doing) where I'd be wondering about what would happen after I came as much as when I will get to cum. It's just occured to me that the kids were at home and she couldn't have done much of anything painful to me and there is the also possibility that it was meant to be T&D session that went a bit awry when I was told that she wanted me to cum over her tits and I promptly complied.

It'll be a few weeks before I know for sure but is the theory sound and is anybody out there subject to a version (couldn't resist) of this?

[Tom Allen]

Chatelaine casually mentioned that she'd been told 'aversion therapy' was most effective immediately after orgasm. I replied that I'd hate to be spanked when my balls were empty as it would be hard to sexualise the sensation but I don't know if that is what she is planning.

I've discovered that while I hate doing some things immediately after orgasm, when I look back on it a few days later the idea becomes incredibly hot, and I want to do it again.

[poor]

I asked her (in light of what happened) if she meant stamina training. She replied that it wasn't. I'm not unduly concerned; her comfort zones are far within my limits and it's probably just a wind-up on her part.

[poor]

Last night we ended a monthly cycle. Chatelaine got me erect and unlocked the front ring of the Steelworxx Dual Cock Ring and put my left hand into her panties. She showed me that she was turning her rings inward and began giving me a handjob.

"If you want me to stop, just say."

I asked to cum and was allowed but I hadn't thought to ask to stop. 30 seconds after i'd finished spurting I was begging her to stop. She has apologised a couple of times today for being so rough but its only a couple of scratches and balls that are sore 20 days earlier than usual.