[Chosen_Jackal] Pinch me, is this really happening?

[Tongue+groove]

. I feel I have too much freedom

Be careful with this. Out of concern for my wellbeing Mrs. G left me to self manage so the key was left in a bowl on her dresser. I guess she thought after six months that I wouldn’t masturbate. I too felt I had gained more self control. Then she was gone one weekend and I’m really embarrassed to say I failed. It was an awful experience and I had to confess to her, totally ashamed even to write about.

She was forgiving and compassionate. All keys are now gone. She is the only one to handle them. And to my surprise she decided that I would wear the smallest cage I had. We both learned the hard way that I’m a man and I will conspire with Mr. Wanky to transgress. That was about three weeks ago and I still haven’t been inside her. It’s not that she is punishing me, rather she’s doing what she thinks is best for me.

I don’t mean to overstep on your thread but you may need to discuss your key situation one day. Your girl sounds a lot like mine. They feel cruel by being a kh and it’s not in their nature. The learning curve is steep and can take some time to climb.

But it’s so worth the investment.

[Chosen_Jackal]

You’re not overstepping at all.
I welcome input from others.

I realize it sounds like I’m complaining about having freedom and it’s not my intention.
I’ve read up on your journal as well and it sounds like Mrs G and miss Redraven are alike in some ways.
The hesitation to seeming cruel or make us feel bad, when (and I don’t know any other way to say this) it’s exactly what we want.
Within reason of course.

I crave the feeling of giving up control. To be as good a partner as I can be while beholden to her wishes and whims when it comes to these things.
I’ve told her several times that I don’t want to place all the pressure and responsibilities of our household and relationship on her, but that I want her to feel allowed to be a little selfish. Be a little petty and mean towards me. Put me in my place, and then be equal partners again.

Except for what my penis is allowed to do of course.

[Redraven]

Hey, i would love to have all the control of the key!
When you constantly feel the need for trying a new cage or change bits because something doesn’t feel right it becomes a hassle to give over the key all the time. When you have decided on a cage I will remove all the keys from you except the one you need at your job.

Xoxo Red.

[Chosen_Jackal]

Sorry, you are of course correct.

I realize how I sound here. I would go back and edit my post, but maybe it is better to keep it as it is to be a lesson for the future?

[Tongue+groove]

Sorry dude I didn’t think about her reading here. I wish Mrs.g would, I think.

And to you Miss Redraven my sincerest apologies. You sound like a wonderful woman.

I have already gotten in trouble with one kh on here and don’t need anymore.

Have a wonderful day!

[Redraven]

Sorry dude I didn’t think about her reading here. I wish Mrs.g would, I think.

And to you Miss Redraven my sincerest apologies. You sound like a wonderful woman.

I have already gotten in trouble with one kh on here and don’t need anymore.

Have a wonderful day!

No worries. I am a nosy person and like to read what my jackal writes.

He needs this journal to write what he feels and I want him to write his truth. There would be no point otherwise. I also want those who choose to reply to feel free to write what they want. No need to worry about me. I’m not your key holder.
I just felt the need to correct jackal when he clearly is to blame for his own assumptions.

Carry on.

Red.

[Chosen_Jackal]

We’ve had some quiet “normal” days lately. Well, no particularly sexy activities at least, unless you count a lot of talking about what we both want to achieve from this journey we’re on.
I’m happy to report that we’re very much aligned and seem to want to arrive at the same place eventually. As always I’m a little more impatient than Red (miss Redraven wants to be addressed as Red from now on) and would like to be there yesterday, but I think I should be glad that Reds got her foot on the brake a little.
One step at the time.

We’re still working out what different ring sizes, ball gaps, cage lengths etc we want to go with.
I’m back in the cobra nub right now after almost three full days in a a completely flat metal cage.
The flat cage felt amazing. Like my penis seized existing almost, but it was too impractical for long time wear from a hygiene standpoint.
I do want to play with it more, but Red has made it clear that she likes the nub better. I hope she’ll come around, but I remind myself that her wishes are much more important than mine.

We have some other cheap metal cages of various designs on the way so we can better gauge what brand we’ll go for when we’ve experimented a bit more.

Here’s what we’ve learned so far.
Smaller is better. I’m a grower, so nub sizes feel amazing and keeps everything tidy. Bigger cages allows for too much room to move.
I’m struggling a bit with finding the right ring size.
I seem to have landed on 50mm. Smaller than that gets real uncomfortable after a short while, but there’s also a problem with the ring slipping down my shaft and balls and then creating a possibility of my penis accidentally slipping out of the back of the cage when I’m at my most flaccid.
I think I need to find a cage with slightly larger ball gap than average. Most seem to be 8mm, but I am prone to getting that burning sensation underneath and on the backside of my scrotum. More experimentation needed.
I’d greatly appreciate anyone with used input on this.

I also seem to need a strap with the metal cage. The cobra is fine without, but I do prefer one at night in case I get hard while sleeping.

No sexy retelling of me pleasuring Red, my hot sexy mistress this time, but I hope I’ll get to serve her like this again soon.
I’m only on day three after I accidentally came while Red was edging me on Monday, so I feel I can go a long while before I need release.

I’m having surgery on Saturday the 15th of February so I sort of hope I’ll stay locked until the 14th. That’s Valentines, but it’s all up to Red anyway. I’ve made it a habit not to ask or beg for release.

[Tongue+groove]

I’m a grower also and will agree flatter is better. I do fine with a 50 mm ring until it gets warm out. A 47 is optimal but almost needs to be a custom job. My nub is a 47 but Mrs. G is liking my stubby nub at the moment. Another similar issue is the ball burn with plastic so lots of moisturizing.

As for hygiene I’m back to dialysis removal for cleaning in the stub nub. I prefer metal for this purpose. But it’s her call.

Good luck in your search.

[Chosen_Jackal]

Great day yesterday. Work was a bit draining on my head, but coming home to Red always makes the day a lot better.
Especially since we started locking me up.
We switched from the completely flat metal cage to the cobra nub yesterday and suddenly it was like I had sensation down below again.
That unleashed a torrent of feelings and urges that had been a lot more suppressed for the three days in the flat cage.
I was suddenly horny for Red again. I could feel my penis enjoying its new freedom in he nub (that feels strange to say considering how tight it is).

So yesterday was spent with me cleaning and making dinner for the family. After that I spent the afternoon and early evening attending Reds every wish which meant lots of foot rubs, massages, me making her tea etc.
My favorite part of the evening was me waking her from her nap by rubbing her feet, thighs, ass and sucking on her toes while doing it.
She jokingly remarked that this is the way she wants to be woken up from now on.

We finished the night with her having, what seemed to me like an amazing orgasm. Bullet vibrator and me having the honor of slowly using the dildo (the small one we’ve jokingly started calling it even though it’s longer than me) at the same time.

I’ve noticed a change in myself that I’m a bit unsure if I’m comfortable with or not.
When we first started this journey and talked about what this would mean for us going forward we were both in agreement that it wouldn’t mean too much difference from how wee lived until now.
Mostly a radical shift in our orgasm ratio and lots of acts of service from me towards her.
We both agreed that we didn’t want the stereotypical dominatrix and slave relationship.
To be clear that hasn’t changed, but I feel a real change in myself towards a more submissive nature.
I find myself longing for opportunities to please her. I have no desire for changing my appearance and being more feminine in any way, but I find myself fantasizing about being humiliated and restrained.
I’m a bit unsure if I should say more on the matter since I know Red reads these journal entries and I don’t want to come across as trying to influence her to do things.
This is actually a conundrum for me.
I have the need and desire to write my thoughts and feelings, but I’m also conscious of the fact that Red reads what I write here. I find myself censoring myself because I don’t want to "top from the bottom”.
I enjoy that Red reads what I write, and I know she enjoys reading what others write on this forum as well. I’m sure I’ll think of a solution to my dilemma.

Anyway, feeling horny today after yesterday’s fun. It’s a good feeling. A tingling throughout my entire body. I hope it lasts for a long time.

Thoughts and replies are as always appreciated.

[KnownAsHerbert]

I could feel my penis enjoying its new freedom in he nub (that feels strange to say considering how tight it is).

I’ve noticed a change in myself that I’m a bit unsure if I’m comfortable with or not.
We both agreed that we didn’t want the stereotypical dominatrix and slave relationship.
To be clear that hasn’t changed, but I feel a real change in myself towards a more submissive nature.

I have no desire for changing my appearance and being more feminine in any way...

A good read and there are aspects that I recognise in my own situation.

Firstly, I smiled at the “freedom in the Nub” comment. For me, there is vitually no sensation when I wear the Nub but then again, I haven't got a flat cage so my experiences of moving into the Nub aren't those of finding new spacious surroundings.

The more submissive side? Yeah, me too. I hadn't wanted or expected it, but it has happened, maybe because my kh, Miss Emmie, had done her research, knew what she wanted, and saw it through. Our lives are much like they were, no outward show of feminism from me, but she is in charge for sure.

Well written post. Looking forward to the next episode.