So the journey has begun.
My wife and I are a couple in the DC Metro area in our 40's who have been together for over 15 years. We would appear to be an outwardly 'normal' professional couple, though we had played with bondage and her teasing and denying me earlier on in our relationship regularly.
(I've copied the "Hello World!" Text below to explain how we got to here.)
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Briefly, I got a silicone cage and started getting used to it for three weeks during the day to get a feel for it before handing her the keys on our anniversary earlier this month.
Knowing that she has all the keys and that, with the base ring I have now, I can't slip it off....it makes a HUGE impact.
The journey starting with the first longer lock-up:
May 18
2 days in. I went down on M while She read until she fell asleep. I laid there extended as far as the cage will allow.
I loved it!
May 19
Also, with enough rubbing, the silicone device can allow a ruined drip-out orgasm that provides no relief. Found that out when I was testing the additions I made to keep the tube pointing down. Oops.
May 21
I think she is enjoying me Being her 'kink-boy.'
May 22
She was REALLY enjoying seeing the prisoner of "Ms. Kitty" dance as far as it could this morning just by watching her wiggle her butt.
May 23
Ordered a Holy Trainer type device this morning, along with easier bondage straps that M wanted.
I've rubbed oralgel for teething babies all over my head so it's numb in case I get desperate and try to rub a ruined O through the silicone.
May 24
Being locked for a week and M having the only keys is using my body chemistry against me to be more oriented Towards her and I know it. The power of the erection to redirect the rest of the human attached to it is very powerful, I'm finding.
May 26
Currently, After being locked in my silicone cage since last Wednesday, I had to ask M for the key last night because my shaft and testes under the base ring were chaffing and abraded. I had been applying coconut oil and A&D ointment regularly, but it wasn't enough.
M said she looks forward to locking me up again. "You are more cuddly". She is enjoying this game.
(That's what loving male chastity is - a long foreplay game.)
She also was enjoying me using our rechargeable Lelo vibe on her while locked, since there was no pressure on her to have to pleasure me as well. (The charge ran down on the vibe just as it was getting good for her, though. Oops! At least we both could laugh about it.)
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So, that is where we are now.
1) Does silicone have known issues that make it unsuitable for long-term use?
2) I have a Holy Trainer copy being delivered. What should I expect?
3) I was getting dripping pre-cum after the fifth day often, leading me to put some tissues in my underwear to catch the discharge. Is this the "chastity tears?" If so, how to others deal with it?
4) why isn't this lifestyle more common? It seems so logical.
I have to say, Finding good reading material was tough. The best 'vanilla' (as opposed to floggings and "fucking other men in front of your handcuffed and caged hubby") description I could find about "why male chastity?" says that there should be a three-month male orgasm-free period to start as a break-in period. Gulp!
Cuckolding, feminizing me, whips or other implements causing actual lasting physical pain, and so forth just don't appeal to either of us.
(Me Bound and caged while she uses her Magic Wand on herself, teasing "don't you wish you were inside me, instead of struggling a foot away?", otoh... oh hell yes!)
-FD
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(The rest of the background story)
Unfortunately, she required anti-depressants starting around 2007 due to stress at work that, while improving her mood, gradually led to sexual responses being greatly reduced.
I had an interest in chastity and orgasm denial after discovering Altairboy's site looking in 2006 for a way to curb overwhelming horniness due to some mental medication I was on for a while that was leading to issues of frequent hard erections at work that were difficult to hide.
I tried to introduce my wife to the idea, but I botched it by explaining based on what were probably not real couples blogs, a lot of sites went right into sissyfication, cross-dressing, and cuckolding (areas that don't appeal to either of us at all), and there weren't any decent inexpensive beginner devices yet anyway. So, this was quietly shelved and not spoken of again.
As time has gone on, sexual contact has gotten less and less frequent. We have been going for several months between sessions with each other.
Everything else between us is still good, though. We still talk, are still on the same mental wavelength on most things, and still actually like and care for each other. We have gotten counseling for the sexual disconnect issues, and our therapist said that we interacted as a couple much better than most couples she's seen.
It takes a long time now for my wife to get turned on enough for PIV. (Oral hasn't really been a big priority for her, though I love the taste and sensations of cunnilingus.) By the time she's ready, I'm so turned on that I usually last at most a couple minutes, finishing way before she is at the point of bliss. Sadly, I get hit by the hormonal post-orgasm snooze wave and fall asleep soon afterwards, no matter how hard I fight it to finish her.
Fast forward to 2017. I've been waiting since January for security investigations and other processes to be completed before starting my next job, living off severance from my previous job.
After a while, I was back to masturbating 2-3 times a day and not getting tasks done at home, as well as not giving my wife the attention she deserves.
So, after discovering that there were now some sites and communities (like this one) for and by actual outwardly 'vanilla' long-time couples using male chastity devices as a marriage enhancement by cutting out the issues of frequent masturbation and taking one's spouse for granted (what I call "The dreaded 'Yes, Dear' Zone"), I ordered a silicone cage in April. I spent 3 weeks making adjustments and getting used to it.
I handed her the keys on our anniversary early this month, explaining why I was doing this. Fortunately, I made it clear I didn't want any outwardly changes in our relationship - no calling her "Mistress" or "Missy", no wearing women's clothing and hanging around in bars, no watching her with another man* - just her holding the keys and letting me out when she felt like it for her pleasure, while seeing what changes developed.
She (correctly, I think) wondered if this was my 'mid-life crisis', and thought it was a much less destructive one than most we've seen. Instead of seeking out a new sex partner after 40, as we've seen happen many times, I was recommitting in a very tangible way to my current partner.
My wife also thought the device itself is very amusing looking, especially when I attempt to erect and it bounces. She nicknamed it "Ms. Kitty."
. I confessed when I handed her the keys that my frequent jerking off was why I was getting items on the "Honey, Do" list checked off. She was annoyed that I was doing so, so she is glad that I can't anymore.
After a couple days of me being locked up with her holding the keys, she noticed I am being much more affectionate and cuddly.
I think she prefers me this way. She is highly amused that just wiggling her butt or rubbing my arm causes me to heavy breathe now.
I went 4 days locked up all day and night for the first stretch. Unfortunately, some of my extra security measures to ensure I don't slip out of the cage when soft caused some abrasions, so I had to be uncaged while those healed.
I've been back in since last Wednesday. With proper moisturizing, it seems okay now.
I know I won't be unlocked (outside of more painful abrasions) until this weekend at the earliest. I'm fine with that
She brought up getting some high-quality satin Ribbon this weekend to wear the key around her neck. I hope that's a positive sign.
-Freaky Dude
