"coasting" along

[danj]

I wish it was 28 days... today marks day 119.

My wife has never wanted to go beyond 3 weeks, so far. For those of you going months at a time, do you get to the point where you're just "coasting" along? Is 119 days any more difficult than 90 days, or even 60 days? Obviously, you're craving orgasm all along.

I guess what I'm asking is does it get harder as time goes? When I went 3 weeks, I felt good. My wife wanted me to cum, but I felt I could've easily kept going. It seems a month would've been no problem, then 5 weeks, and so on...a day at a time.

[Atone]

I guess you could say I am just "coasting" along at this point. Most of the time I am not craving an orgasm, just stimulation. The hardest part once I get fairly along is managing my expectations and not getting too carried away. I like when any expected "release" (not necessarily and orgasm) date is far enough out to be a challenge but close enough to be real. Any time I get within a couple of weeks of a release date I usually try to renegotiate a new date. The longest I think I have ever had as a release date was about 2 months, maybe a little longer. At that point the hope starts to diminish and it gets tougher. We still use a combination of my wife being in control and chance (both dice and coin flips usually) to help set dates so there is the possibility of longer times in the future.

[danj]

Atone,

So is it any more difficult remaining chaste at 60 days vs. 90 or more? Is there much difference once you are safely into chastity nirvana?

[Atone]

Atone,

So is it any more difficult remaining chaste at 60 days vs. 90 or more? Is there much difference once you are safely into chastity nirvana?

In one regard it is no more difficult - I don't have a choice, my wife has the key and she isn't giving it to me. That part of the control she has taken on 100%. She enjoys having me in chastity and is completely comfortable saying no to any of my requests. You could say she is an excellent enforcer. She also agrees that it is better when I am locked up and denied even if she is not real in to setting long term dates or making an on the spot decision to not let me orgasm (or out for some reason).

Sure I could defeat the device by breaking the lock but that would probably be the end of her being the enforcer, I wouldn't let that happen. I also have an emergency key in a tamper proof case but same thing goes there unless there was a very good reason to use it.

With my current setup there is little chance I would pull out either. I tried a little soon after I got this steelheart and I couldn't get out. I am sure with enough soap or lube and time I could get out but I am not going to try.

Even if I did pull out what would I do then? In my last steelheart using a bigger ring (with a larger gap too) I pulled out one time to see if I could. I did but it was so uncomfortable I had to unlock it right away, the pressure on my balls (I am extremely high and tight) was intense as soon as I got fully hard like that. I had the key because I was going to unlock anyway but would have been in a hurt of trouble if I didn't. There is no way I could have jacked off like that, all I wanted was out, it was very painful.

From a mental state I don't find it to be any different once I went past about the 60 day mark. I don't really think in terms of when I last had an orgasm but rather from when I last had some stimulation time. Same goes for looking forward, I am looking forward to my next "play" date, tentatively next week, not to when I might be allowed an orgasm. I think I could go on like this for a long time, my point of reference stays fairly consistent. I do occasionally really crave an orgasm but that usually goes away pretty quickly. When I get like that I usually end up focusing on one of my other kinks and that diverts my attention. Right now I am obsessing on a Spank-O-Matic spanking machine. I think I will start a new topic on that in the members only section, kind of off topic for this thread.

One last thing - I like how you phrased it "safely into chastity nirvana" I love being there and it is definitely a place of safety for me. Very comforting in a strange kind of way.

[danj]

Atone,

Can we split this off into a new thread? I feel like I've hijacked J Random's thread...yet I still have some thoughts. I can start a new one, but figured since you've been promoted

[Atone]

Atone,

Can we split this off into a new thread? I feel like I've hijacked J Random's thread...yet I still have some thoughts. I can start a new one, but figured since you've been promoted

I agree, this has gone a bit off topic but warrants further discussion. Hopefully I don't piss anyone off by splitting this and get demoted.

J Random, if you believe this should not have been split let me know and I will merge them back together.

[danj]

One of the things I've been struggling with lately is the rollercoaster of short cycles. My wife has been wanting me to cum about every 7 days, even though I've been asking for longer cycles. I get to nirvana, and no sooner have to leave! That may sound nice, and it is during the orgasm, but then I have that drop. I was told to cum yesterday, and did. So now I'm feeling that drop...more than my last cycle. My wife is turning into a very good keyholder, I just wish she would extend me to only 1-2 orgasms each month. I think it would help in our wife led marriage, too. As you might expect, I'm more attentive when I'm denied 5-6+ days.

I guess I want to be able to "coast" for a while...

[danj]

One last thing - I like how you phrased it "safely into chastity nirvana" I love being there and it is definitely a place of safety for me. Very comforting in a strange kind of way.

Yes. That is what I think I need more of...the comfort of chastity nirvana, and the simultaneous complete lack of control of my cock.

[Atone]

"coasting" is good. It keeps our relationship stable, on an even keel. We are intimate all the time now. We don't even need to be together, we can maintain it during the day with text messages and quick phone calls.

Why does she want you to cum?

My wife enjoys the feeling of me coming inside her but she doesn't orgasm from it. While she enjoys the feeling the only real difference is whether we move to a different way of bringing her to orgasm just before I cum or we wait a few more seconds and do it after I cum.

[danj]

Why does she want you to cum?

I think it's a couple of things. First, even after more than a year of playing with chastity, she worries that going too long isn't "good for me". That 3 week stint took about a year to happen. Second, I think she enjoys making me cum. She enjoys seeing my reaction and feeling me cum, whether inside her or on her, and once in a great while, in her mouth. Like your wife, mine does not have orgasms from penetration...so that isn't an issue.

I'm thinking maybe I need to have a talk with her to let her know I really want to experience longer term denial if she can do it without feeling she would be denying herself. I do not want to deny her something that is important to her.